A Gate of Night (A Shade of Vampire #6)

CHAPTER 31: Sofia

Walking was getting harder as my belly grew. I was beginning to have my doubts about our escape plan. As we walked along the gardens so I could get a breath of fresh air, I hooked my arm over Eli’s and expressed my apprehensions.

“Is this going to work, Eli? Can Shadow even carry us?”

“He won’t have to carry me. I’ll still have my speed. Granted, it won’t last long, but I think I can make it. The Elder’s people won’t be able to come after us, not in sunlight.”

“Maybe it’s too big a risk. We don’t even know where we are, Eli. How are we supposed to know where to go? How on earth are we going to get to the hunters?”

“All we have to do is get to a phone or a computer, anything that will allow us to get in touch with the hunters. You still have contacts from the time you were there, don’t you?”

I nodded. I had one. Julian was the man my father had assigned to train me in combat while I was in hunter headquarters. I never quite did catch on. I was ever the pacifist. Lately, I’d been wishing that I’d listened more to him when I had the chance. Maybe then I wouldn’t be in situations like this. I wouldn’t need men to save me.

I gave Eli an apologetic look, ashamed that I wasn’t giving him any security or reassurance when he was risking his neck to help me.

Eli returned my gaze, concern traced over his features. “Do these doubts have something to do with the Elder attacking you?”

I drew a breath. The slightest mention of the unpleasant encounter still made me shiver. A couple days after the visit from the Elder, I was still so jumpy, afraid that he was around, that he was listening in on my conversations. The only assurance I had that he wasn’t around was the recollection of his presence.

If the Elder is around, it’s impossible not to know. Anybody could sense the wickedness, the fear, the incapacitating cold.

I had no idea how to tell Eli that since the attack, Kiev had been talking about escape. That meant that I wasn’t sure if Eli could be there with us. I felt responsible for Eli’s presence at The Blood Keep. If it weren’t for me, he’d still be back at The Shade. Safe.

My conscience scolded me. It was one thing to consider leaving Olga behind—we didn’t have a history together. But Eli… we might not have had a personal connection, but he was risking his life to help me escape The Blood Keep. Not only that, he was one of Derek’s dearest and most loyal allies.

Eli must’ve considered my lack of a response as a yes. “Sofia, the Elder can’t touch you unless you have a significant amount of darkness within you. That’s why he was never able to get to Derek after you came to The Shade. Your light took over.”

Eli’s words were tearing me apart. I was trying not to cry as I listened to him remind me of a light I no longer had. I was torn. I hated to admit it to myself, but I was willing to consider escaping with Kiev. I have to do this for my children.

“Eli… I need to tell you something.”

Eli remained silent, waiting for me to speak up.

“Kiev has been talking about helping me escape. He has been since the Elder’s attack and…”

“You’re considering it?” The tinge of apprehension was evident in Eli’s voice.

“I’m going to give birth soon, Eli. I’m just afraid that…”

“I understand,” he assured me. “If I had even the smallest amount of trust for this man, I would recommend that you go, but this is Kiev we’re talking about. He was in love with Natalie Borgia and yet he tortured and killed her right in front of all of us. Are you sure that he’s after your safety?”

“I’m not certain at all, but…”

The mention of Kiev being in love with Natalie took me aback. I’d had no idea. Kiev was a wildly unpredictable person and I’d never quite figured him out, but it had never dawned on me that he could ever be in love. Why do I see that as a positive thing? I tried to dwell on what Eli said—that Kiev had killed Natalie—but for some reason, I was holding on to the hope that Kiev could still be saved.

“I will respect whatever decision you make, Sofia. I know the risk of my plan for escape. I won’t blame you if you choose to trust Kiev and you won’t need to worry about me. I can take care of myself. I just want to be sure that you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“Thanks, Eli. I need to think things through.” I was relieved that I’d told him. “Right now, what do you know about Kiev and Natalie?”

As Eli told me what he knew—not that there was much of it—I saw then what Derek saw in him. I’d always seen Eli as this intelligent person we all went to when we wanted to figure out how to do something at The Shade, but his rational nature also brought out a side of him that was good. He didn’t take things personally. He understood why I was torn, why I felt I had to do what I had to do.

Genuinely grateful for Eli and his support, I knew I had several things to figure out and soon. Can I really trust Kiev?

The fact that he hadn’t taken advantage of me was, to me, a sign that there still was a flicker of good inside of him, but I was uneasy. Eli was right. Something was wrong. Something about Kiev suddenly wanting to help me didn’t sit right with me, but I couldn’t afford not to take this into consideration. I had to at least see if Kiev meant it, if Kiev could possibly provide me a way out.

I owe my children that possibility. I can’t deprive myself of that chance.

Deep inside, however, I knew that this wasn’t me. I was being selfish, putting my own needs before the people around me, but as hard as it was for me to admit it, I no longer cared.