Chapter 6
Lily never had any problem being alone. She even considered herself a bit of an introvert, but she had been alone for what seemed like several hours, maybe even a whole day, and she was feeling very bored and very lonely. She wished her mother would come back, or even her father.
“Wow, I’m really getting desperate if I’m willing to talk to that jerk,” she thought.
She already tried calling for them with her thoughts, but either it didn’t work, or they couldn’t hear her. She knew they would come back, but it seemed like it was taking forever. It wasn’t like she could pick up a book or watch reruns on television. There was nothing to do. She went back to doing the only thing she could do. Think. Think, think and think some more. The same thoughts swirled through her mind. What if I don’t wake up? What if I’m brain dead when I wake up and I’ll have to go live in an old folk’s home with the wrinkled people?
When she was seven, Nathan, the older boy down the street told her never to go to a nursing home at night because that is when the wrinkled people wake up and stalked through the halls, arms outstretched like zombies searching for young people to suck the life out of so they could live longer. The youngest children were the best for the wrinkled people. They had the most life force of course. Nathan’s grandfather told him all this and he said his grandfather would never lie, so it must be true. Lily knew there was really no such thing as “wrinkled people”, but just to be safe she didn’t want to risk it.
“This is so dumb. I’m only seventeen, and my own father might have damaged my brain enough to put me into a nursing home. My life will hardly be worth living. And what about aunt Jenny? There is no way she can afford that. This would ruin her. I still can’t believe that guy! The man I once called father cares about no one but himself. Even if my brain is perfectly fine, my body is bound to be broken to pieces! I will probably be in a body cast for the rest of high school and I’ll miss everything! No dances for sure. I’ll probably have to live in the hospital and miss the rest of school. Then I’ll have to get my GED like that girl who dropped out of school when I was a freshman. She ended up going to a technical school and is doing very well, but that isn’t what I want. I may not know exactly what I want to do with my life, but it’s not that! I want to finish high school, and then Malaya and I are going to get jobs and save up for college. Then we will go off to a state school together and have a blast as college girls. That is what I want. Not this, I never asked for this. Why does my life have to be so hard? Why can’t my life be normal? Why couldn’t this happen to Amberly? She deserves it. Why couldn’t my father make her fall down the stairs? My dad is so selfish. I don’t even want to call him dad anymore.”
Lily realized no matter what direction her thoughts went, her father always seemed to follow. She knew she should think about it from his point of view and try to understand him, but she didn’t really want to. She was still too angry. She would forgive him eventually, but not now. She just wasn’t ready. It was funny how all her life she had dreamed of meeting him and talking with him, but now that she had met him, she didn’t want anything to do with him. Her imaginary vision of him was not the reality. Yes, he had a good heart and was well meaning, but in action he was anything but good. This was her view of him and deep inside of her she wished that she could change it but didn’t really know how. Her mother seemed to accept him regardless of what he had done, but she had been married to him, so maybe that made a difference.
“It doesn’t make that much of a difference to me,” her mother’s voice chimed in.
“You’re finally back! Then how can you see all the things he has done and still be so kind to him. There isn’t any hate or anger in your voice at all. I just don’t understand how you can do it.”
“Well, for one thing I know more of the details than you do, and so I am able to understand him better than you can. Even if I didn’t know those facts, I would still choose to forgive him and allow him a chance to maybe explain himself more fully.”
“Mother, you are a saint. Really you are. So is that what you want me to do? You want me to talk to him and forgive him, just like that,” she said to her mother imagining herself snapping her fingers at the word “that”.
“Talk to him, yes, but whether or not you forgive him is up to you.”
Lily was sure she wouldn’t want to forgive him no matter what he had to say, but she would talk to him if that is what her mother wanted.
“Alright, I’ll talk to him. Where is he?”
“I’m not entirely sure, but he better get here soon because you should be waking up in the next few hours.”
“Really?”
Lily wasn’t sure how she felt about this. All this time she was sure she would be in this state of blackness for days or maybe weeks. Now that she knew she was only hours away from going back to her life on earth, she wanted more time. She had wasted so much time being angry with her father when she could have finally been talking to him and getting to know him better. She should have spent more time with her mother, who always knew just what to say. Lily wished she had never sent her away. Visiting hours were almost over and she wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
“Lily, I know we don’t have much time left, but I just want you to know, that you can do it. You can do whatever life throws at you.”
“Something is wrong with me, isn’t there? I’m going to be a vegetable. You can say it mom. Just tell me the truth. I promise I won’t be angry. I just want to know.”
“I would tell you honey, but I can’t tell what I don’t know. I know that something is different about how your brain functions, but I don’t know what that is going to mean for you. We just have to wait for your dad to get here. He was looking into it.”
“Great, so something is wrong with me. My life is probably ruined. I’ll never have a normal life again and be like the others my age, will I?”
“Honey, you never were normal and never will be, and I wouldn’t change that for the world. You may have had some different experiences in your life, but they have only made you stronger. The hurdles in your life only bring you down when you don’t jump over them with all your might. As long as you do your best in your challenges, you will come out a better, stronger person than when you started.”
“I don’t feel any stronger. I’m not courageous and good like you are.”
“I don’t want you to be like me, I want you to be like you. I want you to be the best person you can be. I know that whatever the outcome of this mess is, you will overcome this challenge and be victorious.”
“You have an awful lot of faith in me. You have a lot more faith in me than I have in myself.”
“Lily, faith isn’t something you naturally have. You have to choose to believe. I know you will deal the best you can with whatever comes your way. Always remember that I will be watching over you when you truly need me. You have a wonderful aunt and cousins, and good friends to stand by your side when you need them.”
Lily playfully interrupted, “actually I only have one friend, Malaya, but she might as well be a thousand friends.”
“Lily, Malaya is a very good friend, and always will be, but you need to be open to allowing new friends into your life.”
“I don’t need any other friends. Malaya is my best friend and I don’t need another.”
“Maybe, but what about the boy who was pushing you in your wheel chair; he seemed nice.”
“Mother! He pushed me down the stairs! How can you possibly think he’s nice? He might as well have pushed me off a cliff. You sure know how to pick ‘em. That person is a total jerk in every way imaginable, and I will never be his friend. I don’t even think he is capable of being a real friend to anyone. Case closed,” Lily said with venom practically spurting from her lips.
“Okay,” her mother slowly said cautiously backing away from the subject. She carefully added, “I think that you ought to give some other people a chance before you really know them enough to make such a snap judgment.”
Lily no longer had any desire to waste any more time on the subject of that person.
“We don’t have much time left together, so I just want you to remember that your family and friends will be with you when I can’t. You’re not alone in this. Whatever may come, you’re not alone.”
Her mother’s voice lovingly enveloped her in warmth that filled Lily with hope and joy. Lily knew her mother was speaking the truth. She wouldn’t be alone.
“As touching as this moment is, I really must interrupt.” So the daughter-slayer was back at last.
“I know you’re not pleased with how things have gone, Lily, and your mother is right that I should make it up to you somehow. First of all, I want to apologize. I truly felt in my heart that you would want to talk to me as much as I wanted to speak with you. I thought that it would be a short coma, and you would wake up and any injuries you had would be so small that it would have been worth it to talk with your dad. I realize now that things could have gone much worse, and you could have been seriously hurt or even killed. As much as you might believe I want you dead, I don’t. I’m not that selfish. I’m sorry for having put you through this, and any future discomfort it may cause you.”
Lily could tell he was sincere, and she was finally beginning to feel a little better about him and the situation in general. He really was like what her mother had said. He meant well, but his actions were all wrong. He didn’t try to foresee the consequences of his actions.
“I accept your apology, but I don’t think I can entirely forgive you right now. It will take some time.”
“Take as much time as you need. I understand. Now as for making amends, I was unable to think of anything for the longest time, and then I thought that you might want to know how your body handled the fall and what you will be facing once you wake up. I know news about yourself isn’t exactly making things right, but it’s the best I could think of. I know I would want to know if it were me. So I decided to go check on you in the hospital and see what your condition really was. I’m glad to report, that you have some brain damage.”
If Lily had a hand to smack him with she would have done so. Repeatedly.
“Mother, why did you marry him? I just don’t get it.”
“No wait, let me explain!”
“You’d better.”
Her father nervously began again, “You see, you don’t have any other damage really, just brain damage. Alright, that still doesn’t sound good. Well, here is the situation. It appears to the hospital staff that you are slightly brain damaged; however, that really isn’t the case exactly. I mean you are, but not in the way you think. It’s not a bad kind of damage.”
“You aren’t making any sense at all. Any type of damage is bad. I’m going to spend the rest of my life as a vegetable. The end.”
“No, you don’t understand. I’m not explaining this very well, am I? Okay, let’s try this again. Your brain has been damaged, no, changed is really a better word for it. A small portion of your brain has changed, and because of this change it’s like a doorway has opened. This doorway is left open for certain information on selected frequencies to pass through.”
“So I have a door installed in my brain?”
“I think you should get to the point Avery,” Lily’s mother snapped. “I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about either.”
“It’s almost like you’ll have a super power.”
“So what’s my super power?”
“I guess it isn’t really a super power, it’s more of an ability, and a selective one at that.”
It was Mom’s turn to interrupt, “Just get on with it.” Lily could tell her father was not thrilled at their reactions.
“Lily, when you wake up from your coma you will have the ability to hear the thoughts of the wicked.”
All three were silently rolling the words around in their heads. What did that mean exactly? Lily decided it was up to her to break the silence.
“What does that mean anyway?”
“Well, to be wicked is to be morally corrupt or to intend harm to others. Wicked people are people who make bad choices and do despicable things and you will hear all their deepest, darkest, most personal thoughts. That’s as much as I know.”
“Why can’t I have x-ray vision or fly or something cool like that? What good will it do me to listen in on peoples thoughts?”
Lily wasn’t really sure what to think of this. What good would it do her? There had to be some mistake.
“There’s no mistake. I don’t know the reason why you have been given this gift, but it must be an excellent one.”
Lily forgot he could hear her thoughts. So annoying. What if those wicked people found out she was hearing their thoughts? What would they do to her? There isn’t any way they would know unless she told someone. That could never happen. This would be her secret.
“Yes it would be best to keep it a secret. Except I think you could tell Malaya. I know you can trust her.” Her mother always knew what to do.
Yes she would tell her best friend, but would Malaya believe her? Lily could hardly believe it and she was hearing it firsthand. It all seemed so unreal.
“Sweetie, I know this is quite a shock,” her mother continued. That was an understatement, “but this is actually very good news. It means any other injuries you have will heal quickly and you will go about your life as normal. Your cast will come off and you’ll be twirling on the dance floor at the next school dance. Maybe that boy will ask you.”
Lily couldn’t believe this was coming up again.
“Mom, I think I already made myself quite clear that I never want to see him again.”
“Boy? What boy?”
“Don’t worry about it dad.”
“Aw, you’re calling me dad again. Does that mean I’m forgiven?”
“Not yet. Okay, so let me get this all clear. Part of my brain has changed so that I will hear all the thoughts of all the bad people in the world. Can I ever turn it off? What if I don’t want to know what they’re saying? Do I hear the people who are bad all the time, or who are just thinking bad thoughts at the moment?”
“Lily? Sweetie, your voice is getting a little hard to hear. You’re fading away. You must be coming out of the coma,” her mother said with a hint of sorrow filling her voice.
“No wait, I’m not ready yet. I have so many more questions for you to answer.”
“Sweetie, you will be just fine. I’m sure you will find the answers as you go along. That is how most of life is anyway. You learn as you go. Just remember that I believe in you. You can do anything you set your mind to. Strive to be the best person you can be. Be your best self. Lily, I love you so much!”
“I love you too, mom. I miss you so much sometimes.” Lily’s sadness was growing beyond what she thought she could handle. She was losing her mother all over again, and there wasn’t anything she could do about it.
“You won’t see me, but I’ll be with you many times throughout the rest of your life. Remember I will always love you no matter what. Goodbye my sweet Lily.”
“Goodbye Mom. Love you.”
“I can barely hear you, so you’ll be gone any minute,” she heard her father say distantly. “I really am sorry about all of this. I wish I could go back in time and change what I did.”
“I know dad.”
“I’ll look after you too if you want.”
“No thanks, I think mom will have that department covered.”
Good thing too. Lily didn’t think she could tolerate being “looked after” by her father.
“I love you Lily.” His words were even more distant than before. It sounded like he was on the opposite end of a football field. She could hardly hear him.
“I love you too dad.”
Even though he was far away, Lily could feel his love for her radiating in her direction. For the first time since she entered this blackened state, she truly loved him back regardless of his actions.
“Dad?”
“Yes?”
“I forgive you.”