Knotted Roots

Chapter SIX



I heard when Grandma got home later, the front door rattling as she slammed it. Her heavy footsteps immediately pounded up the stairs and moments later there was a loud knock at the door. Before I had a chance to say anything she was already opening the door, a bag of food in hand. She walked over and set it on the desk and then turned to leave. She looked really angry which I didn’t think was possible.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I called out to her as she stood in the doorway.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” she replied and walked out. I heard her door slam moments later. I had no idea what could have made her so mad, and no idea how to approach her. Would she even want to talk to me? What if I was the reason she was so upset?

I got up and went to her room. My hands shook as I raised my fist to knock. The door was snatched open and there stood Grandma, her eyes swollen and red. I took a step back, unsure what to say.

“Umm...are you...I mean-” I tried to find the words, but she raised her hand for me to stop.

“I’m fine,” she said. “Nothing you need to worry about.” She started to close the door but I quickly stepped forward to stop her.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

She let out a loud sigh as her shoulders slumped. “Kate quit today. She got an early admission to USC. And that would be the University of South Carolina, just in case you were wondering.”

“And that’s bad, why?” I asked, utterly confused.

“She was a volunteer, Roxie. And a vital part of the team. I can’t afford to hire anyone else right now. Not to mention that there aren’t many teens out there willing to give up their summer to help out an old woman.” She leaned against her bedroom door, her head dropping back with a thud.

“So...you need help? But instead of asking your granddaughter, you cry yourself into oblivion?” I asked, getting more and more upset. Did she really think I wasn’t capable of helping?

“You have made it perfectly clear that you want nothing to do with the farm. Or me, for that matter. Why would I ask you?” she replied.

She had a valid point, which made me feel even worse. Sure, she and I had our issues, and I still harbored quite a bit of resentment, but she hadn’t even bothered to ask me. She couldn’t possibly know that I would say no. I shook my head and backed away. I walked back to my room and shut the door. I walked over to the window and stared out, my eyes searching the clear sky above. I deserved to feel this way, I knew that, so why did it hurt so much? I had never liked letting people down before, but it seemed inevitable when it came to Grandma.

I couldn’t compare to her, or my mother, especially when they both know where their roots could be found. Grandma had known what she wanted from the time she was a child. She hadn’t fought to figure out what she would do for the rest of her life. Mom...well, she’d known from a young age that her future wasn’t here. She left the first chance she got. But me? I didn’t feel like I was at home here, but when I thought about going back to New York, I couldn’t picture life there either.

I envied Grandma for being so certain about what she wanted. Hell, I envied Mom too, but she was just as screwed up as I was, so that seemed ridiculous. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe I needed to let everything go for a while and just enjoy what was here. I wasn’t used to hard labor, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t help Grandma, right? It was worth a shot, especially if it gave me an excuse to get out of the house. And of course a chance to ogle Chase, but that’s neither here nor there.