Honor Student

chapter Five

The crowd screamed in unison, jarring me from my thoughts. My popcorn flew from its container and Claire laughed at me.

“Scared?” she taunted. I nodded and smiled. I had no idea what was going on in the movie and at this point, I did not care. I was feeling a little sad seeing Mr. Honor with someone else, not that I had a right to feel jealous, but for some reason, I had thought on some level that he liked me. I shook the thought from my head. It was stupid for me to let myself be caught up in a fantasy. I suddenly missed home and wanted nothing more than to leave this place and never come back. I slunk down in my seat and waited for the movie to end.

Twenty long minutes later the credits where rolling and I could not be happier. We waited for the majority of the other moviegoers to file out before finally making our way towards the exit.

Becka and Claire were rambling on about going to some party and getting drunk. I made up a lame excuse about having a curfew so I could go home. I did not feel much like partying.

The drive home seemed longer than the trip to the theater even though I did not get lost this time. My thoughts flashed to Becka and Claire inviting me to the movies. I was sure Mr. Honor had overheard our conversation. In my overactive imagination, I pictured running into him there. I just had not factored in that he would not be alone.

I was relieved to see the driveway empty when I pulled into my aunt’s house. The last thing I wanted was to hear her raving about the new man of the hour. It was late so I was sure I would not see her again until tomorrow. I stalked into my bedroom and threw my shoes into the corner. I pulled off my dress, not bothering to unzip it and slipped into an oversized t-shirt from my old school.

I grabbed my old yearbook and walked into the kitchen for a drink. I slid the milk out of the way and grabbed a can of soda, along with a cheap bottle of vodka. I carried everything into the living and clicked on the television. I watched on old romance movie as I drank a small swig from the bottle. The alcohol burned my throat and I coughed and sputtered. I quickly chased it down with my soda as tears filled the rims of my eyes. I flipped open the book and ran my fingers over the indents left by the pen my friend’s had used to sign it. My body began to feel warm and I took a longer swig from the bottle, wiping a drip from my chin. I thought about packing my things and heading back to Michigan. I knew it would never be the same there. Everyone looked at me with pity after my parents had died. They treated me as if I was a toddler who could not take care of myself. At least in Florida most had no idea the situation I had come from. Only a few teachers and the school guidance counselor had the gory details. I wiped a wayward tear from my cheek and put the bottle to my lips again. The sadness magnified as the alcohol took effect, but I did not care. I knew if I drank enough I would forget about it all. I flipped through the pages as my tears fell onto the glossy paper. I ran my fingers over the wet marks and the signatures smudged across the book.

“No!” I cried as I wiped harder. I was officially breaking down. I grabbed the book and threw it across the room. It collided with a picture hanging on the far wall causing it to fall and shatter on impact. “F*ck!” I yelled as I stumbled over to the mess to clean it. My vision was blurred and as I grabbed a piece of the jagged glass, it cut me deeply across the palm of my hand and up my wrist. Blood ran freely down my fingers and dripped onto the old picture of my Aunt and Mother. I collapsed onto the floor, sobbing as I hugged the picture tightly.