Falling into Place

He arrived in one piece, though, and they grinded for maybe two songs before Jake disappeared, and Liz grabbed another boy and wondered why she was surprised. A scavenger hunt, a yes—did she really expect that to mean that Jake would change? People never changed.

She went to get a drink and hovered by the door to the gym for a moment, watching. There was a wall of heat there, and it smelled like the boys’ locker room. The floor was damp with sweat, and when she finally went back in and grabbed Thomas Bane’s hand, his shirt was so wet that it stuck to his torso.

She didn’t care. She danced and danced and closed her eyes, and when the DJ announced the end and the lights came on again, she grabbed Julia and Kennie so they could go party.

They didn’t, however, end up going anywhere.

Instead, they sat in the school parking lot inside Liz’s Mercedes and listed off the things they knew.

First, that Kyle Jensen would break up with Kennie if he found out. Kyle had colleges considering him for tennis scholarships and he would never jeopardize that, and he was an asshole besides. They wouldn’t tell him, because he would have dumped Kennie for much less.

Second, that they would keep it a secret. No one but Kennie, Liz, and Julia would ever know. Liz would get Kennie whatever she needed. Kennie must never, ever tell her parents. They would kill her. They would literally throw her out on the streets.

Third, that Kennie had to get rid of the baby.

“Wait,” Kennie said into the silence. “What?”

“Kennie,” said Liz, staring ahead into the dark parking lot, “you can’t keep the baby. You know that.”

Kennie curled over, her arms wrapped around her middle, her head on her knees.

“Liz,” she said, trying to keep the tremor from her voice.

Liz ignored her. “We’ll get you an appointment as soon as possible. Before it’s too late. How long have you known?”

“Liz.”

“Damn it, Kennie. God, if you ran out of condoms, why didn’t you go buy some? You live a freaking mile from the gas station. It would have taken two seconds. Damn it all. You could have asked either of us. God, Kennie. I have birth control in my fucking purse. God. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. We’ll get rid of it.”











CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR


Fourteen Minutes Before Liz Emerson Crashed Her Car


Liz got back onto the interstate after her single detour. She wiped her eyes and thought of Newton’s Third Law. Equal and opposite reactions. That was the one she had struggled with the most. Moving objects, not moving objects, force and mass and acceleration—she had been able puzzle those out, mostly. But for their unit on Newton’s Third Law, the law of action and reaction, Mr. Eliezer put hyperlinks and videos on his website and told them to just go for it. It was supposed to teach them critical thinking and twenty-first-century skills and time management and other useless crap.

Naturally, most of the class sat on the countertops and shot rubber bands at each other.

Liz liked being in control, and she had the necessary leadership—manipulation—skills, but she was also a bit lazy. She never did today what she could do tomorrow, and she always believed herself when she used eventually as an excuse.

This inevitably led to late-night cramming sessions, which was exactly where she found herself the night before the test on Newton’s third law. Unfortunately, Mr. Eliezer decided to surprise them with an essay test instead of multiple choice.

Liz’s conclusion had read: NEWTON WAS A SPECTACULAR MAN AND MR. ELIEZER, I’D REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE A D ON THIS TEST.

He gave her a D minus and a warning to study for exams. Liz had promised that she would, because at the time, she’d had every intention of doing so, eventually. But soon after, things began to slip downhill very quickly, and Liz gave up. The week before exams was her last week ever; she knew exactly which day she would get out of bed and never return, and her promise to study Newton the virgin felt more distant than a dream.

She knew it was stupid to try to understand now, since there were an infinite number of things she would never understand, so why should Newton’s Third Law of Motion matter more than any of those? She, Liz Emerson, was going to cease to exist in mere minutes, and everything she knew would disappear. It didn’t matter at all, what she did or did not understand.

She started thinking about all of the things she had done, all of the horrible things she had set in motion, and she wondered why none of them seemed to have had equal and opposite reactions. She thought about Julia’s addiction and Kennie’s baby and Liam’s sadness and all of those other people she had kicked to pieces, and she thought about how she was never caught. Never. She was never punished for any of it. She had never gotten a suspension or an expulsion or a deportation, though she probably deserved all of them.

Liz Emerson had dished out a lot of sadness in her short and catastrophic life, and no one had ever done anything about it.


She did not realize that the equal and opposite reaction was this: every terrible, horrible, bitchy thing Liz had ever done had bounced back to her.











CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE