“I wanted you to notice me,” Zoelyn murmured and took another half-step into the room. “I was afraid you only saw me as a child, and I wanted you to see me as more,” she added in a voice that was barely above a whisper.
“What else could I see you as, Zoey? You are a child, though you have never showed it as clearly as you are now. Do you not realize what I am, you stupid little girl?” Seth snarled. She flinched at his voice and he instantly regretted his tone. This was not something he could face rationally right now and he knew simply walking away would be his best option, but he couldn’t take his eyes from her.
A breath of desire rose in his chest and his anger redoubled. He didn’t need this, not with everything else. He already cared too much for her, though he hadn’t realized it until she had been wounded. The sheer terror that had seized him when he saw her fall had prompted his actions, despite how wrong they were. To save her, he had been ready to face any punishment Finn chose, but once she was safe, that knowledge had terrified him. If he let this go farther, Zoelyn was one step closer to becoming a memory to haunt him in his room of penance. That’s always how it worked. Everything he ever cared for ended up dead and the only way to save her was to push her away now.
“I know what you ar, Seth,” Zoelyn answered at last. He could see the courage it was taking for her to speak, and a part of him twisted in disgust for his actions. “You aren’t what they call you, Seth. I know you better than that. You aren’t a demon,” she added and took a hesitant step toward him.
“Do you?” Seth snapped, his eyes flashing once more. The desire to comfort her was so strong it almost crushed his anger, but he forced it down. All he had to do was look at her now and remember Dashara to know how it would end for her if he caved in now. He knew she cared for him, and he had fed on that to reach his goals. He had never even considered that he might grow to care about her, though. He had thought he was past that.
“I do,” Zoelyn replied and took another slow step toward him. “You saved me and you have protected me. You aren’t what they say you are, Seth,” she added with a bit more confidence in her voice.
“You don’t know me, Zoey,” Seth hissed as he grabbed her arm and pulled her closer. He had to act now before he lost his nerve. Turning quickly he pressed his palm flat on the raven carved door and willed it to open. “You are about to, though, and maybe it will bring you to your senses,” he snarled as he shoved her into the room in front of him. He had never shared his memories before, but this was the quickest way he could think to save them both. Once she saw what he really was she would be disgusted, and once he saw that look on her face he could quit caring about her.
Focusing his will he summoned the earliest of his memories. “Do you want to see me as the child whore, Zoey?” he asked as images of a much younger Seth formed. “Do you want to know how I served the Avanti in the beginning?” He grabbed her by the jaw and held her face, forcing her to watch as the child image of him writhed beneath his former master with tears coursing down his small face.
“I don’t want to see this, Seth,” Zoelyn cried and tried to pull away from him.
“How about how I killed them all for that?” he whispered in her ear as the illusion skipped ahead to show the mangled bodies of everyone he had killed that night. Even the servant’s children had died under his blade. He had spared no one. “Perhaps you would prefer to see how I killed my mother?” He forced the memories ahead to show her the arena where he had fought and his mother’s pathetic corpse lying below him. He hadn’t shed a tear for her when he killed her, but his eyes were growing glassy now. It was taking more effort than he had thought it would to force the room to show what he wanted. It was designed to play all of the memories fully, but he couldn’t handle that now and he knew it. He was already too close to breaking.
“Seth, why are you doing this?” Zoelyn whimpered, as she pulled on his arm again, desperate to escape his vice-like grip on her jaw.
“Because you say you know me, Zoey,” he whispered. He called on the memories again flashing it forward to the cities he had leveled beyond the barrier. She grew silent in his arms as she watched him slaughter countless people with a savage smile on his face. Then seemed to wilt in his arms as images of disemboweled women and children washed through the room and he pushed the images past to the most painful. “Maybe you would rather watch how I let Dashara die?” His voice was softer now and he could feel her tears coursing over his hand as he held her in place to watch Dashara being tortured. “I didn’t move a muscle when they skinned her,” he hissed with as much ice as he could summon to his voice.
“Enough!” Finn’s voice rang out through the room and the illusions faded at once.
Seth turned slowly to face the Lord of Death and wasn’t sure which fact amazed him more. Finn’s presence in the room, or the sheer power that had echoed in his voice.
Finn glowered at him for a long moment before motioning to Zoelyn. “Release her, Seth,” he commanded with enough power in his voice to send most denizens of the Darklands scurrying for shelter.
Seth’s fingers relaxed and he stepped back from Zoelyn wordlessly, still staring at Finn in mute fascination. He had never seen this side of Finn and he wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“Come here, Zoey,” Finn ordered in a softer voice.
She rushed to his side at once and Seth felt his stomach coil at the fear on her face. It was what he had wanted, but it still hurt to see. He swallowed heavily as Finn pulled her close to him and wrapped an arm protectively around her. A flicker of jealousy rose in Seth and he knew he had no right, but emotions never acted with logic.
“I’m sorry I let this go so far, Zoey. Are you 0K?” Finn asked softly as he gently pressed a hand under her chin and forced her to meet his eyes.