“I’m thinking of inviting the Boris brothers to the wedding,” Steris said from the couch opposite the one Wax sat upon.
He grunted, still reading.
I know Saze doesn’t approve of what I’ve done, the book continued. But what did he expect me to do? Knowing what I know …
“The Boris brothers,” Steris continued. “They’re acquaintances of yours, aren’t they?”
“I shot their father,” Wax said, not looking up. “Twice.”
I couldn’t let it die, the book read. It’s not right. Hemalurgy is good now, I figure. Saze is both sides now, right? Ruin isn’t around anymore.
“Are they likely to try to kill you?” Steris asked.
“Boris Junior swore to drink my blood,” Wax said. “Boris the Third—and yes, he’s the brother of Boris Junior; don’t ask—swore to … what was it? Eat my toes? He’s not a clever man.”
We can use it. We should. Shouldn’t we?
“I’ll just put them on the list, then,” Steris said.
Wax sighed, looking up from the book. “You’re going to invite my mortal enemies,” he said dryly, “to our wedding.”
“We have to invite someone,” Steris said. She sat with her blonde hair up in a bun, her stacks of papers for the wedding arrangements settled around her like subjects at court. Her blue flowered dress was fashionable without being the least bit daring, and her prim hat clung to her hair so tightly it might as well have been nailed in place.
“I’m certain there are better choices for invitations than people who want me dead,” Wax said. “I hear family members are traditional.”
“As a point of fact,” Steris said, “I believe your remaining family members actually do want you dead.”
She had him there. “Well, yours don’t. Not that I’ve heard anyway. If you need to fill out the wedding party, invite more of them.”
“I’ve invited all of my family as would be proper,” Steris said. “And all of my acquaintances that merit the regard.” She reached to the side, taking out a sheet of paper. “You, however, have given me only two names of people to invite. Wayne and a woman named Ranette—who, you noted, probably wouldn’t try to shoot you at your own wedding.”
“Very unlikely,” Wax agreed. “She hasn’t tried to kill me in years. Not seriously, at least.”
Steris sighed, setting down the sheet.
“Steris…” Wax said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be flippant. Ranette will be fine. We joke about her, but she’s a good friend. She won’t ruin the wedding. I promise.”
“Then who will?”
“Excuse me?”
“I have known you for an entire year now, Lord Waxillium,” Steris said. “I can accept you for who you are, but I am under no illusions. Something will happen at our wedding. A villain will burst in, guns firing. Or we’ll discover explosives in the altar. Or Father Bin will inexplicably turn out to be an old enemy and attempt to murder you instead of performing the ceremony. It will happen. I’m merely trying to prepare for it.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Wax asked, smiling. “You’re actually thinking of inviting one of my enemies so you can plan for a disruption.”
“I’ve sorted them by threat level and ease of access,” Steris said, shuffling through her papers.
“Wait,” Wax said, rising and walking over. He leaned down next to her, looking over her shoulder at her papers. Each sheet contained a detailed biography. “Ape Manton … The Dashir boys … Rusts! Rick Stranger. I’d forgotten about him. Where did you get these?”
“Your exploits are a matter of public record,” Steris said. “One that is of increasing interest to society.”
“How long did you spend on this?” Wax asked, flipping through the pages in the stack.
“I wanted to be thorough. This sort of thing helps me think. Besides, I wanted to know what you had spent your life doing.”
That was actually kind of sweet. In a bizarre, Steris sort of way.
“Invite Douglas Venture,” he said. “He’s kind of a friend, but he can’t hold his liquor. You can count on him making a disturbance at the after-party.”
“Excellent,” Steris said. “And the other thirty-seven seats in your section?”
“Invite leaders among the seamstresses and forgeworkers of my house,” Wax said. “And the constables-general of the various octants. It will be a nice gesture.”
“Very well.”
“If you want me to help more with the wedding planning—”
“No, the formal request to perform the ceremony that you sent to Father Bin was the only task required of you by protocol. Otherwise I can handle it; this is the perfect sort of thing to occupy me. That said, someday I would like to know what is in that little book you peruse so often.”
“I—”