Chapter 11
Brody
Sand, surf, hot sun, and women in bikinis.
Yeah, it’s a beach party, and I really don’t want to be here. I’d rather be holed up in my apartment reading a book or working at The Haven. But I’m here because Jimbo keeps pushing… always pushing… for me to rejoin society. The icing on the cake was when Casey blinked her baby blues at me last night while nursing a beer at the bar and begged me to come.
F*ck if I could deny her, so here I am.
I walk through Hunter and Gabby’s house, straight out onto their back deck. I’m hit with loud music and even louder voices as dozens of people hang on his deck, which overlooks the ocean, and even more people are down on the beach partying. There’s a volleyball game in progress, and a huge propane gas cooker down on the beach that’s being manned by a couple of locals where they’re grilling shrimp, scallops, and steaming oysters in large, propane pots. My stomach rumbles at the thought, because one of the big things I missed while in prison was fresh seafood.
Grabbing a bottle of water out of a tub of ice on the deck, I look around for a familiar face. I see a few I know from high school, but they all turn away once they catch my eye. The important people I’m looking for… Hunter, Gabby, Casey… okay, maybe Alyssa… I don’t see, so I walk down the staircase and onto the beach.
When I reach the hot sand, I pull my t-shirt off, tucking the end of it in my back pocket, and kick my flip-flops off. A sense of peace fills me as I close my eyes and tilt my face up to the scorching sun, letting it bake me from the outside in. The smell of the ocean and the sand sifting between my toes… I’m where I’m supposed to be, and for the first time since getting out of prison, I actually start feeling a connection to my home again.
“About time you showed up. I thought you had bailed,” Casey says as she punches me lightly in the stomach.
My eyes snap open and I give out an oomph from her pathetic tap, just to make her think she has a wallop.
“I told you I’d be here, brat.” Of course, my voice is affectionate and Casey takes it as such, as evidenced by the warm smile that lights her face. It’s been many years since I’ve teased her as an older brother, and I find it’s not as bitter tasting as I thought it would be.
“Want to play volleyball? I’m getting a team up.”
“Sure… a bit later after we eat if that’s okay.”
“Absolutely,” she says with a grin, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek. When she pulls back, she smiles at me brightly and starts walking up the stairs to the house. Looking back over her shoulder at me, she says, “I’m really glad you came.”
“Yeah, me too,” I tell her, my voice rough with emotion, and I realize, I am glad I came. Just to have that bit of interaction with Casey… just to give her something that brought her happiness. It made it worth every bit of discomfort I might suffer by being at a social event.
Glancing around, I see Hunter down the beach a bit and he waves to me. He’s with Gabby, Savannah, Wyatt, and Alyssa, who are all standing around with beers in hand. My stomach knots over the prospect of seeing Alyssa. I knew she’d be here since she’s one of Gabby’s best friends, and I hope our last conversation put enough of a buffer between us to erase the memories of that kiss.
I can’t believe she actually got me to admit that our kiss was mind-blowing. She was devious in the way she went about it, and I walked right into her trap. By the time I realized what she was doing, I couldn’t get my bearings and had a hard time understanding what she was trying to say.
Only in the quiet of my apartment that night did I fully start to understand that she wanted to develop something with me. She wanted another kiss, but she was also telling me that we could be together, and that implied a relationship.
She’s crazy as hell, of course, to be thinking that. Alyssa Myers may not be at all like the spoiled, entitled, princess I believed her to be, but she definitely has no business getting dirtied up by someone like me. Way too much baggage, and who wants to bring their felon boyfriend home to meet their parents?
Like I said… crazy as hell.
I head across the sand toward them, trying not to stare overly hard at Alyssa, but staring at her all the same. She looks amazing in a black bikini top and a pair of cut-off denim shorts that ride high up her smooth legs, whereas the waistband sits low on her hips. It’s really nothing more than a narrow band of denim that’s barely covering her ass and yet, while more is covered up than I’m sure her bikini bottom would, I find the promise of what lies beneath to be sexier than actually knowing.
The only thing I don’t find appealing as I approach is that she’s standing off to the side of the group with our friend, Wyatt. He’s been best friends with Hunter since we were all kids, and a very good friend to me over the years. He’s a cop, yet never once did he turn his back on me. He even came to visit me in prison on several occasions.
What I don’t like is the close proximity in which Wyatt and Alyssa are standing, his head bent down slightly as they talk quietly. It’s clearly a private conversation, and I’m not all that surprised by the jealousy that cramps my belly.
I firmly believe I can’t have her, but it doesn’t mean that I like anyone else making a play for her. But why wouldn’t Alyssa go for a man like Wyatt? He’s good looking, successful and hey… he isn’t branded a murderer. He’s someone that she should be with, for sure.
“What’s up, bro?” Hunter says, holding his fist out for me to bump. I oblige, because it’s apparently the cool way to greet others.
“Not much. Ready to eat some seafood,” I tell him as I open my water up to take a swallow.
“It should be ready in about an hour. Until then, take a seat and relax,” he says as he points to one of the empty beach chairs.
I do just as he suggests, because while it’s a party and I should be mixing and mingling, there is nothing that I would like more than to just sit on the beach, look out over the sun-dappled water and relax peacefully for a while.
Stretching my legs out in front of me, I pull the bottoms of my board shorts up my thighs to let the sun touch as much of my skin as possible. I’m starting to finally get the Carolina tan I had grown up with, and my hair is even lightening up a bit. Granted, not as much as it would if I would spend some time in the saltwater, but I just haven’t had much of a desire to go surfing. I know I probably will today, because Hunter has a few of his boards propped in the sand, but for now… I’ll relax, and I lean my head back and close my eyes, wondering what Alyssa and Wyatt are talking about.
***
Something hits my leg, and I open my eyes. Hunter is standing over me with a grin. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. Food’s ready.”
Rubbing my eyes, I squint up at him. “How long was I out?”
“About forty-five minutes. You sure know how to party hard.”
Giving Hunter a quick smile, I say, “Haven’t you been reading The Prison Times? This is about as hard as this Markham parties anymore.”
Hunter’s smile slides off his face. “Hey… I didn’t mean to bring that up… or mean anything by it.”
I hold a hand up to cut him off. “No worries, man. I know you didn’t, and I was teasing you back. But seriously, I just have no desire to party, so there’s nothing to be sorry about.”
“Okay,” he says but looks unsure. “Want to head over and get some food?”
“You go on ahead. I need to use the bathroom first,” I say as I stand up from the beach chair and stretch my arms up high, arching my back and groaning as my muscles loosen up. Looking around, I see the other chairs in our group are empty so I assume they must be over at the grill.
Hunter heads to join the throng of people waiting to eat, and I jog across the sand and up the stairs into his house. The deck is practically empty as everyone is clamoring for some seafood down on the beach.
As I walk into Hunter’s house, I mentally plan that I’ll eat, socialize for about another five minutes after that, and then I’ll head out. I have to be at work at seven PM tonight but if I head out soon, I can get some of my laundry done this afternoon.
I turn the corner of the hallway that leads to the bathroom, my head down and my brain calculating the best excuse I can use to leave, when I run straight into someone, causing them to cry out in surprise.
My hands come out to steady the other person and when I grip onto warm, bare skin, I realize instantaneously that it’s Alyssa. As my head comes up, I look into her soft, brown eyes, and she stares back at me with a stunned look.
“Geez,” she says almost breathlessly. “You about gave me a heart attack.”
“Sorry. Wasn’t watching where I was going,” I tell her, relishing the feel of her silky skin under my palms. She smells like coconut oil, and I notice that she has freckles on her shoulders that I’m sure were brought out by the sun today.
“Okay by me,” she says, and I notice her voice continues to be breathless. Her eyes stay serene as she stares up at me with a mellow smile on her face. “Heading down to get some food?”
“Yeah,” is all I say… all I can think to say.
“It’s really hot outside today, huh?”
“Yeah,” I say again… lamely, I might add.
“Brody?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re still holding onto my shoulders,” she whispers, and then she steps in closer to me. “You could have let me go by now.”
F*ck, she’s right and even as she calls me on the carpet, I still don’t drop my hands away from her. Alyssa’s gaze holds me for a moment, and then strays to my lips. It hits me like a gale-force wind that Alyssa is thinking about our kiss, which in turn makes me think of it.
And here I stand… inches away from a woman so beautiful she makes my eyes hurt sometimes, and so kind that she makes my heart hurt. I know that I had, without a doubt, the best kiss of my life with her the other night, and it will be even better if I kiss her again.
I should run. Push her away, bark at her… something to stop this train wreck from happening. Because if we kiss… I know there won’t be any stopping. No talking myself out of it. I’m not strong enough to resist the temptation once our lips touch… I just know it.
Alyssa is cruel though and she steps in just an inch closer, but it’s enough so her breasts brush lightly across the top of my stomach muscles, causing them to jump in response.
I go dizzy with want.
My fingers grip onto her a bit harder and I stare in her eyes, hoping there will be something there that brings me to my senses.
Big mistake. All I see is desire pooled deep, and the last vestige of restraint slips away.
I’m doomed, is what I think, just as I bring my mouth down on hers and pull her in tight, crushing her body into mine.
Sensations assault me.
The softness of her lips with the hint of mint on her tongue.
The warmth of her skin beneath my fingers.
The hardness of her nipples as they rub against my stomach.
All of it hits me hard, surging lust through me like a massive ocean tide. When Alyssa lets out a moan into my mouth, I feel my sanity start to slip. It’s been so f*cking long since I’ve been with a woman, but Alyssa is like woman times ten. I’m overwhelmed with feelings raging through me, even as something in the back of my head keeps trying to warn me off.
“Tell me to stop,” I plead, never quite taking my lips off hers but rather just pushing the words into her mouth.
“No,” she whispers as her hands come to my hips to pull me in closer. There’s no doubt where my mind is right now as my erection pushes into her stomach.
I have to touch more of her but I still have a tiny bit of rational thinking left, and I know that the hallway is no place to do it. So I start pushing her backward… walking her right back into the bathroom she just vacated.
She doesn’t balk; she just grips onto my hips harder while swiping her tongue along mine in a kiss that is getting hotter and hotter.
When we are fully inside of Hunter’s bathroom, I fling my arm out and slap at the wall, managing to turn on the light switch with one smooth but lucky move, followed by a kick to the door, which has it slamming shut behind me.
Alone.
The thought reverberates through my head, and now there are no boundaries surrounding Alyssa unless she comes to her senses and tells me to stop. While a small part of me still hopes she does just that, most of my reasoning has withered away and my mind is filled with nothing but the thoughts of kissing and touching her.
Finally releasing her shoulders, I glide my fingers up her neck until my palms are cupping her jawline. All the better to hold her in place so I can kiss her deeper.
She must need the contact too, because her fingers slide up until her palms are laying flat against my stomach, and then she pushes them around my back. Her touch fuels me on, and I need to get closer to her still.
I move one hand to the back of her head to hold her in place as we continue to kiss. Deep, spine-tingling kissing. Grazing the fingertips of my other hand down her neck, I turn my hand and drag my knuckles over the swell of her breast until they graze a pebbled nipple. Alyssa jerks against me and moans hotly into my mouth, and f*ck… it makes me want more.
I have to have more.
My hand moves right over her breast, knuckles dragging over her flat belly. When I reach the edge of her denim shorts, I don’t even hesitate, popping open her button with an easy flick. Alyssa breaks away from my kiss with a startled gasp, and I open my eyes to look at her. She’s staring at me a little surprised, but mostly lust clouds her vision.
“Don’t even tell me to stop,” I tell her darkly. “You had your chance. Now it’s gone.”
“I don’t want you to stop,” she tells me breathlessly. “I want you to touch me.”
F*ck, I didn’t think I could possibly grow harder but her words are like an aphrodisiac, and my erection pushes painfully against the confines of my board shorts. I don’t kiss her again, but rather continue to look in her eyes as I grip her zipper and slowly ease it down. She holds my stare, the only noticeable disquiet is the fact she pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth and bites down. It’s a sexy-as-f*ck look. When my fingers flirt with the edge of her bikini bottom, her eyes close and I get lost in how long her lashes are as they lay against the translucent skin just below her eyes, but right above the blush across her cheeks. She looks young and innocent, and far too pure to be sullied by me. She doesn’t deserve that.
With a burst of rational insight into just how stupid I’m being, I release her quickly and step back.
Alyssa’s eyes pop open, and she glares at me. “Don’t back away, Brody.”
“This is wrong,” I tell her.
“It isn’t,” she insists, stepping toward me. I try to step back but I’m flat against the wall, and I watch, almost hypnotized, as she comes closer. When she’s inches away, she reaches her hands out and lays them on my chest. My pectoral muscles leap at the warm touch and my heart starts pounding, but I clench my fists by my side to keep from reaching out to her.
“Brody… there’s something between us. I know you can feel it,” she begins, talking softly to me, almost like I’m a wounded animal that may bolt. “But you have to let go of these preconceived notions of not being good enough. I see you clearly, and I think you’re plenty good.”
I open my mouth to automatically tell her she’s wrong, because the word “good” and me aren’t supposed to be used together. It’s a foreign concept, and one I just can’t roll over and accept because she says so. Before I can voice those self-doubts, someone knocks on the door.
“Just a second,” I automatically say, loud enough the person on the other side can hear me.
Turning back to Alyssa, I reach out and zip her shorts back up, deftly buttoning them closed. “Let it go, Alyssa,” is all I say before pushing her back from me and turning toward the door.
I open it and step out, muttering an “excuse me” to the woman waiting there to get in. I don’t look back at Alyssa, and she doesn’t say a word to stop me.
I walk out of the bathroom, straight to the front door, and right out of Hunter’s house. Getting in my car, I drive home, locking myself away to my solitude and loneliness, because based on my past actions… this is about all I deserve out of life.