Suddenly her entire body splintered into a million pieces and she was propelled to sensuous oblivion. “Striker!”
She felt his body jerk hard once, then twice. When he called out her name, she knew he had joined her in what had to be the most intense sexual mating between them ever.
*
“YOU’RE QUIET, STRIKER.”
Striker glanced over at Margo as he eased back into his jeans. She was stretched out on the sofa, naked. It was taking all the control he could muster not to remove his clothes and take her again. But he couldn’t do that. Nor could he forget that his weakness for her was his downfall and he was here to deal with it in the only way he knew how. And that was by imposing distance between them.
Instead of addressing her comment, he made one of his own. “Put your clothes on, Margo, and meet me in the kitchen.”
She lifted a brow. “Okay.”
If his tone and abrupt manner surprised her, there was no help for it. Not now. What had just happened only reinforced his belief that Margo Connelly was more than a weakness. She’d become an obsession, and Striker Jennings didn’t do obsessions. It didn’t matter that he loved her. What mattered was that, for his peace of mind, he couldn’t risk losing another person he loved. And because of his own lack of focus, he’d nearly lost her already.
By the time she made it to the kitchen, he had poured both of them a cup of coffee and was sitting at the table waiting for her to join him. Casting him a curious glance, she sat down, took a sip and asked, “So, what do you want to talk about, Striker?”
Before answering, he studied her features. Those belonged to the woman he loved to distraction. And that was the problem. Distraction. His lack of focus had nearly gotten them killed.
He took a sip of his coffee. “I failed you.”
She lifted a brow. “And just how do you think you failed me?”
“I was hired by your uncle to protect you.”
“And you don’t think you did? Look at me, Striker. I’m sitting here, sipping coffee and breathing, because of you. You saved my life.”
He shook his head. “If I had been more focused, I could have foreseen the danger headed our way. I could have devised a plan to get you away from the cabin and—”
“No, you wouldn’t have foreseen anything. I’m sure you’ve been informed about the tracking substance. Moving me someplace else would not have mattered.”
“I could have set a trap for him and made sure you weren’t in any danger. I should have known my phone was blocked. The moment we got out of the shower I should have checked for calls. Hell, I shouldn’t have been in the shower with you in the first place. I literally screwed up. Botched things up to the fucking nth degree. You could have died because of me. And if you had died...”
“I didn’t die, Striker. I’m alive because of you. You risked your life saving me. That fire—”
“Should not have happened.”
“But it did, and I’m alive. Why can’t you accept that?”
Because he couldn’t, and it was time he made sure she understood why. “I failed before protecting people I loved, Margo. First Wade and then Mom. I should have been there for Wade. I was his big brother and I was supposed to watch over him while Mom worked nights. She depended on me to do that. Instead, because I didn’t want to miss any of my football practices, I encouraged Wade to go to that recreation center after school that had been established by cops. I thought it was a good way to make sure he didn’t get involved with any street gangs. After all, the cops were there all the time and they were the good guys, right?”
He paused a minute. “And then with Mom, I should have been there for her. To make sure she took her meds. But I wasn’t. And now there’s you. I was supposed to protect you with my life, if necessary. Instead I placed you in even more danger.”
*
MARGO SAID NOTHING as she stared at Striker, wondering if he realized he had just admitted he loved her. She’d heard everything he said, and her heart went out to him for all his misplaced guilt. She wanted to tell him that she loved him and that they could work out whatever issues plagued him together. But for some reason, she believed he had a plan. One that didn’t include her.
“So what are you saying, Striker? Are you trying to tell me that all those times you held me in your arms, made love to me, kissed me, tasted me...that you wished you hadn’t? That being with me wasn’t good for you? That I was a mistake?”
“Yes.” Then, just as quickly, he said, “No.” He rubbed the top of his head and said in a frustrated tone, “Yes, I should feel that way, but there’s another part that won’t let me. And that’s the part I have to deal with.”
“And how are you proposing to deal with it?”
He paused a moment. “You no longer need protecting, so I plan to stay away from you for a while. At least until I can handle a few things.”
Like your feelings for me? A part of her wanted to deny what he wanted. To say that staying away from her might be what he wanted but it wasn’t what she wanted. That together they could work out his issues and that distance between them was the last thing they needed. What she wanted now was for them to do what they’d been robbed of doing and that was to behave like any other couple in love. She wanted them to spend time together without an element of danger lurking over them. Go out on dates, to the movies and dinner or do whatever they wanted to. She wouldn’t crowd him. She just wanted to be with him whenever she could. But she knew that loving someone also meant giving them space when they needed it. Hadn’t she explained that to her uncle when she’d left for college and then later when she’d relocated to New York?
Now she had to believe it herself. She had to believe that Striker loved her as much as she loved him and that their love wouldn’t diminish with distance. “Is that what you want, Striker?”
He shook his head. “No, but right now that’s the only way.”
Margo could see that his mind was made up and there was no changing it. “Okay. Then just know this one thing.”
“What?”
“That I’ve fallen in love with you, Striker Jennings. And because I have, I’m willing to give you the time and distance you think you need. I hope that you’ll realize that love can solve any issue.”
She could tell by the surprise that lit his eyes that he hadn’t expected her admission of love. Although he didn’t say he loved her, as well, the important thing was that she believed he did and that their love was stronger than any of those issues he was battling.
He sat there for a minute and stared at her. Then, without saying anything, he stood and walked out of her kitchen. She held herself together until she heard the door close shut behind him.
It was only then that she allowed her tears to flow.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Two weeks later
STRIKER ADJUSTED THE aviator sunglasses on his face against the bright sun shining in through the car’s windshield. He had returned to Charlottesville and the first thing he intended to do was go see Margo. He had needed time and distance, and she’d given him both.
Before leaving Charlottesville, he’d had a long talk with Sheppard, who agreed that he was carrying around misplaced guilt and, until he could let it go—all of it—he would always blame himself for what had happened while he’d been protecting Margo. As for his fear of losing someone he loved, Striker now saw, thanks to Sheppard, that life was a gamble, it wasn’t meant to last forever, individuals should appreciate whatever time they had with the people they loved, and they should think of living and not dying.