Chapter 6
JACKSON WAS GOING TO STOMP MY HEAD IN.
That was so not a part of training.
At that last possible second, someone caught Jackson by the waist and tossed him to the mat. My hands flew to my mouth. Something sticky and warm covered them immediately.
All I tasted was blood. Hesitantly, I ran my tongue along the inside of my mouth, checking to make sure I hadn’t lost any teeth. When I figured that I still had a full set, I pushed to my feet, spitting out blood. Then I lunged at Jackson.
I came up short. Shock nearly brought me to my knees.
Jackson was already preoccupied with fending off someone else, and that someone was Aiden. Pain was momentarily forgotten as I vaguely wondered where he had come from. Aiden didn’t watch my classes anymore. He didn’t even train me, so it wasn’t like he had a reason to be hanging around these rooms.
But he was here now.
Entranced by the odd blend of grace and brutality, I watched Aiden pull Jackson off the mat by the scruff of his shirt. Their faces were inches apart. The last time I had seen Aiden that angry was when he’d gone after Seth the night I’d been slipped the brew.
“That is not how you spar with your partner,” Aiden said in a cold, low voice. “I’m sure Instructor Romvi has taught you better than that.”
Jackson’s eyes grew impossibly large. He was on the tips of his toes, arms dangling at his sides. It was then that I realized Jackson’s nose was bleeding—bleeding worse than my mouth was. Someone had hit him—that someone most likely being Aiden. Because only a pure would be able to do that and have no one intervene.
He let go of Jackson. The half fell to his knees, cradling his face. Aiden spun around, his eyes quickly assessing the damage. Then he turned to Instructor Romvi, speaking too low and quick for me or the class to understand.
Before I knew what was happening, Aiden crossed the mats and caught hold of my arm. We didn’t speak as he walked me from the training room. “My bag,” I protested.
“I’ll have someone retrieve it for you.”
In the hall, he grasped my shoulders and turned me around. His eyes went from dark gray to silver when his gaze fell to my lip. “Instructor Romvi never should’ve allowed it to go that far.”
“Yeah, I don’t think he cared.”
He swore.
I wanted to say something. Like “these things happen”… or at least, about how it could be expected since I didn’t have a lot of friends here. Or maybe I should thank Aiden, but by the warring emotions playing out across his striking face I could tell he wouldn’t appreciate it. Aiden was furious—furious for all the wrong reasons. He’d reacted as if a common guy had hit me, and not a half-blood. As a pure-blood, there had been no reason for him to intervene. That was the Instructor’s job. Aiden had forgotten that in a moment of complete, unbridled rage.
“I shouldn’t have done that—lost my temper,” he said quietly, sounding and looking terribly young and vulnerable for someone I believed to be so powerful. “I shouldn’t have hit him.”
My eyes flicked across his face. Even though my face throbbed, I wanted to touch him. I wanted him to touch me. And then he did, but not in the way I wanted. Placing his hand on my lower back, he steered me toward the med office. I wanted to touch my mouth to see how bad it was. Actually, I wanted a mirror.
The pure-blood doctor took one look at my face and shook her head. “On the table.”
I hoisted myself up. “Is it going to scar?”
The doc grabbed a cloudy-looking white bottle and several wads of cotton. “Not sure yet, but try not to talk right now. At least until I make sure there is no damage inside the lip, okay?”
“If it scars, I’m gonna be so pissed.”
“Stop talking,” Aiden said, leaning against the wall.
The doc shot him a smile, apparently not curious as to why I had been escorted by a pure. She turned back to me. “This may sting a bit.” She dabbed the cotton over my lip. Sting?—it burned like crazy. I nearly jumped off the table.
“Antiseptic,” she said, offering a sympathetic look. “We want to make sure you don’t get any infections. Then you would scar.”
Burning? I could deal with that. It took the doc a couple of minutes to clean up my lip. I waited, somewhat impatiently, for the verdict.
“I don’t think you’re going to need stitches on the lip itself. It’s going to swell and be a bit tender for a while.” She tipped my head back and gently poked at my mouth. “But I think we’re going to need a stitch right… under your lip here.”
I winced as she started poking there too and focused on her shoulder. Show no pain. Show no pain. Show no pain. The doc dipped her fingers in the brown jar and pressed the torn skin together. I yelped as a scalding pain radiated from the skin under my lip and spread across my face.
Aiden started forward, stopping when he seemed to realize there was nothing he could—or should—do. His hands fell to his sides, and his gaze met mine, eyes an endless thundering gray.
“Just a little bit more,” she said soothingly. “Then it will all be over. You’re lucky you didn’t lose any teeth.”
Then she squeezed the skin once more. This time I didn’t make a sound, but I squeezed my eyes shut until lights danced behind my closed lids. I wanted to jump off the table and find Jackson. Hitting him would make me feel better. I believed in that.
The doc stepped back to the cabinets. Returning with a damp wipe, she started to clean the blood away, mindful of the stitch. “Next time you train her, be a little more careful. She’s only this young and pretty once. Don’t ruin it for her.”
My eyes snapped to Aiden. “But—”
“Yes ma’am,” Aiden interrupted, cutting me a stern look.
I stared back at him.
The doc sighed, shaking her head again. “Why do you halfs choose this? Surely, the alternative is better. Anyway, do you have any other injuries?”
“Uh, no,” I mumbled. The doc’s words surprised me.
“Yes,” Aiden said. “Check the left side of her ribs.”
“Oh come on,” I said. “It’s not that bad—” My words were cut off when the doc tugged up the hem of my shirt.
The doc pressed on my ribs, running her hands along the side. Her fingers were cool and quick. “None are broken, but this…” She frowned, leaning closer. Inhaling roughly, she dropped my shirt and faced Aiden. It seemed to take her a moment to collect herself. “Her ribs aren’t broken, but they are bruised. She should take it easy for a few days. Also, she should limit talking so the stitching is not pulled.”
Aiden looked like he wanted to laugh at the last suggestion. When he agreed with the doctor, she left the room pretty quickly.
“Why did you let her believe you did this?” I asked. “You’re not even training me anymore.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be limiting your speaking?”
I rolled my eyes. “Now she thinks you’re some great and terrible half-blood beater or something.”
He pointed to the door. “It wouldn’t be a far stretch of the imagination. Your Instructor allowed it to happen. The doc sees more cases like this than she probably cares to.”
And she probably saw very few pure-bloods who even cared enough to make sure the half was okay. I sighed. “What were you doing over here, anyway?”
There was a ghost of a smile. “Didn’t I tell you that making sure you stay safe is a full-timejob?”
I started to smile, but quickly remembered not to. “Ow.” I ignored his amused look. “So why were you here, for real?”
“I just happened to be over here and looked in the room.” He shrugged, staring over my shoulder. “I saw you sparring and watched. The rest is history.”
I didn’t really believe him, but I let it go. “I would’ve had Jackson, you know? But this damn cold has kicked my butt.”
Aiden’s gaze settled on me again. “You shouldn’t be sick.” He stepped forward, reaching out and carefully placing his hand around my chin. He frowned. “How did you get sick?”
“I can’t be the first half to get sick.”
His thumb moved over my chin, careful to avoid the tender spot. That was Aiden, always so careful with me even though he knew I was tough. My heart jumped. “I don’t know,” he said, dropping his hand.
Unsure of how to respond, I shrugged. “Anyway, thanks for, um… getting Jackson to stop.”
A hard, lethal look flickered across his face. “I will make sure Jackson is punished for what he has done. The Covenant has enough on its shoulders without halfs trying to kill one another.”
I lightly touched my chin and winced. “I don’t know if it was his idea.”
Aiden grabbed my hand and pulled it away from my face. “What do you mean?”
Before I could answer, a fine shiver went down my spine. Seconds later, the door to the room flew up. Seth came through, eyes wide and lips thinned. His gaze went from my lip to where Aiden held my hand. “What the hell happened?”
Confusion and then understanding dawned on Aiden’s face. He released my hand and stepped back. “She was sparring.”
Seth shot Aiden a scathing look as he made his way to where I sat on the table. He clasped my chin with two slender fingers, just like Aiden had. My heart didn’t flutter, but the cord did. “Who were you sparring with?”
“It’s no big deal.” I felt my cheeks start to burn.
“It doesn’t look that way.” Seth’s eyes narrowed. “And you hurt elsewhere. I can feel it.”
Gods, I really needed to work on that shield.
“Thank you for keeping an eye on her, Aiden.” Seth didn’t take his eyes off me. “I have it taken care of.”
Aiden opened his mouth to say something, but then he closed it. He turned around and left the room quietly. The urge to jump off the table and run after him was hard to ignore.
“So what happened to your face?” he prompted again.
“I broke it,” I muttered, straining away from him.
Seth tilted my chin to the side, frowning. “I can tell. This was really done while sparring?”
“Yeah, well, it was done to my face in class.”
His frown deepened. “What is that supposed to mean?”
I knocked his hand away and slid off the table. “It’s nothing. Just a busted lip.”
“Busted lip?” He caught me around the waist, pulling me back. “I swear I see a boot print on your chin.”
“Really—is it that bad?” I gingerly touched my chin, wondering what he’d think if he saw the boot print on my ribs.
“So vain.” Seth grasped my hand. “Who were you sparring with?”
I sighed and tried to wiggle free, but it was no use. Seth—and the cord—wanted me to be here with him. I placed my cheek against his chest. “It doesn’t matter. And aren’t you still mad at me for throwing food at you, anyway?”
“Oh, I’m not too happy about that. I think mayo stains.” His embrace loosened a little. “Does it hurt?”
Lying was pointless, but that’s what I did. “No. Not at all.”
“Yeah,” he murmured against the top of my head. “So who did you spar with?”
I closed my eyes. Being this close to him, with the bond and everything, it was easy to stop thinking. Just like it had been while fighting. “I always get paired with Jackson.”
After class the following day, I piddled around the training center. I found myself walking into the smaller room Aiden had been in when I’d found out about my father. Of course, he wasn’t in there now. No one was. Dropping my bag just inside the door, I approached the punching bag hanging in the middle of the mats. It was an old, raggedy thing that had seen better days. Sections of the black leather had been knocked off. Someone had taken duct tape and patched it up. I ran my fingers over the edges of the tape.
Restlessness inched over my skin. The idea of going back to my dorm and spending time alone wasn’t appealing. I hadn’t seen Seth since he’d dropped me off yesterday. I guessed he was still pissed about the sub issue.
I pushed the bag with my palms. Then I flipped my hands over. Two softly glowing glyphs stared back at me.
My gaze went back to the punching bag. Had my father trained at this Covenant? Stood in this very room? It would explain how he’d known my mother so well. Again, melancholy crept over me.
The door to the room opened. I turned, expecting Guard Linard. But it wasn’t him. My heart did a brief, stupid happy dance.
Aiden stepped inside the training room, the door sliding shut behind him. He wore the garb of a Sentinel: a black long-sleeved shirt and black cargos. I just stared at him like an idiot.
The way my body responded to him—to a pure-blood—was entirely unforgiveable. I knew this, but it didn’t stop the way my breath caught or the warmth that stole over my skin. It wasn’t just how he looked. Don’t get me wrong—Aiden had the whole rare masculine beauty thing going for him. But it was more than that. He got me in a way very few people did. He didn’t need a bond to do so, like Seth. Aiden figured me out through his unwavering patience… and not putting up with any of my crap. During the summer we’d spent hours together training and getting to know one another. I liked to think something beautiful had grown out of it. After what he’d done to protect me in New York… and then with Jackson, I could no longer really be angry with him about the day he’d told me he couldn’t love me.
Aiden watched me curiously. “I saw Seth entering the main part of Deity Island and you weren’t with him. I figured you’d be here.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I just knew you’d be in one of the training rooms even though you were told to take it easy.”
Whenever he was dealing with something, he hit the mats. I was the same way, which reminded me of the night I’d accosted him after learning my mom’s true fate. I turned away, running my fingers down the center of the bag.
“How are you feeling—your ribs and lip?”
Both were sore, but I’d felt worse. “Good.”
“Have you written the letter for me to give to Laadan?” he asked after a few moments.
My shoulders slumped. “No. I don’t know what to say.” It’s not like I hadn’t thought about it, but what do you say to a man you’d believed dead—a father you’d never met?
“Just tell him how you feel, Alex.”
I laughed. “I don’t know if he wants to know all of that.”
“He would.” Aiden paused, and the silence stretched out between us. “You’ve seemed… out of it lately.”
I still felt out of it. “It’s the cold.”
“You looked like you were going to faint in Marcus’ office and, let’s face it, there is no reason why you couldn’t have taken Jackson down yesterday… or at least moved out of the way. You’ve been looking exhausted, Alex.”
Sighing, I faced him. He was slouched against the wall, hands shoved deep in his pockets. “So what are you doing here?” I asked, seeking to take the focus off me.
Aiden’s expression was knowing. “Watching you.”
Warmth fluttered in my chest. “Really? That’s not creepy or anything.”
A teeny tiny smile appeared. “Well, I’m on duty.”
I glanced around the room. “Do you think there’re daimons in here?”
“I’m not hunting right now.” A lock of wavy, dark brown hair fell into his gray eyes as he tipped his head to the side. “I’ve been given a new assignment.”
“Do tell.”
“Along with my hunting, I’m guarding you.”
I blinked and then I laughed so hard my ribs hurt. “Gods, it must suck to be you.”
His brows furrowed. “Why would you think that?”
“You just can’t get rid of me, can you?” I turned back to the bag, eyeing it for a weak spot. “I mean, not that you want to, but you keep getting saddled with me.”
“I don’t consider it being saddled with you. Why would you think that?”
I closed my eyes, wondering why I’d even said that. “So, Linard also has a new assignment?”
“Yes. You didn’t answer my question.”
And I wasn’t going to. “Did Marcus ask you to do this?”
“Yes, he did. When you’re not with Seth, it will either be Linard, Leon, or myself keeping watch. There’s a good chance that whoever meant you harm—”
“Minister Telly,” I added, balling up my fist.
“Whoever meant you harm in the Catskills will try something here. Then there are the furies.”
I punched the bag, immediately wincing as it pulled the sore muscles over my ribs. Should’ve wrapped them first. Stupid. “You guys can’t fight the furies.”
“If they show up, we will try.”
Shaking my hand, I took a step back. “You’ll die trying. Those things—well, you saw what they are capable of. If they come just step out of the way.”
“What?” Disbelief colored his tone.
“I don’t want to see people die for no reason.”
“Die for no reason?”
“You know they’ll just keep coming back, and I don’t want someone to die when it all seems… inevitable.”
The breath that he sucked in was sharp, audible in the small room. “Are you saying you believe your death is inevitable, Alex?”
I pushed the punching bag again. “I don’t know what I’m saying. Just forget it.”
“Something… something is different about you.”
A desire to flee the room filled me, but I faced him instead. I glanced down at my palms. The marks were still there. Why did I keep checking on them like they’d go away or something? “So much has happened, Aiden. I’m not the same person.”
“You were the same person the day you found out about your father,” he said, eyes turning the color of a thundercloud.
Anger began low in my stomach, humming through my veins. “That has nothing to do with this.”
Aiden pushed off the wall, hands coming out of his pockets. “What is this?”
“Everything!” My fingers dug into my palms. “What’s the point in all of this? Let’s just think hypothetically here for a second, okay? Say Telly or whoever doesn’t manage to send me into servitude or kill me and the furies don’t end up tearing me apart, I’m still going to turn eighteen. I’m still going to Awaken. So what’s the point? Maybe I should leave.” I stalked to where I’d dropped my bag. “Maybe Lucian will let me go to Ireland or something. I’d like to visit there before I be—”
Aiden grabbed my upper arm, turning me so that I faced him. “You said you had to stay at the Covenant so you could graduate, because you needed to be a Sentinel more than anyone else in the room.” His voice dropped low as his eyes searched mine intently. “You were passionate about this. Has that changed?”
I yanked on my arm, but he held on. “Maybe.”
The tips of Aiden’s cheekbones flushed. “So you’re giving up?”
“I don’t think it’s giving up. Call it… accepting reality.” I smiled, but it felt icky.
“That is such bull, Alex.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I’d argued to stay at the Covenant so I could become a Sentinel. And I knew, deep down, I still wanted to become one for my mom, for me, but I wasn’t sure it was what I needed anymore. Or what I could agree with if I was honest with myself. After seeing those servants slaughtered on the floor and no one cared… no one came to help them.
I wasn’t sure I could be a part of any of this.
“You’ve never been one to wallow in self-pity when the odds are stacked against you.”
My jaw snapped. “I’m not wallowing in self-pity, Aiden.”
“Really?” he said so softly. “Just like you aren’t settling for Seth?”
Oh, good gods, not what I wanted to hear. “I’m not settling.” Liar, whispered an evil voice in my head. “I don’t want to talk about Seth.”
He looked away for a second and then settled on me again. “I cannot believe you’ve forgiven him for what… for what he did to you.”
“That wasn’t his fault, Aiden. Seth didn’t give me the brew. He didn’t force—”
“He still knew better!”
“I’m not talking to you about this.” I started to back away.
The hand beside him clenched. “So you are still… with him?”
Part of me wondered what had happened to the Aiden who held me in his arms when I’d told him about my father. That version had been easier to deal with. Then again, obviously I wasn’t behaving like the person I was before either. And a part of me liked the way he said “him”—as if the very name made him want to punch something. “Define ‘with,’ Aiden.”
He stared.
I tipped my head up. “Do you mean am I hanging out with him or are we just friends? Or did you mean to ask if we’re sleeping together?”
His eyes narrowed into thin slits that shone a fierce silver.
“And why are you asking, Aiden?” I pulled back, and he let go. “Whatever the answer is doesn’t even matter.”
“But it does.”
I thought about the marks and what they meant. “You have no idea. It doesn’t. It’s fate, remember?” I grabbed for my bag again, but he caught my arm again. I looked up, exhaling slowly. “What do you want from me?”
Realization crept over his expression, softening the hue of his eyes. “You’re afraid.”
“What?” I laughed, but it came out sounding like a nervous croak. “I’m not afraid.”
Aiden’s eyes drifted over my head and determination settled into his eyes. “Yes. You are.” Without saying anything else, he turned me around and pulled me toward the sensory deprivation chamber.
My eyes shot wide. “What are you doing?”
He kept pulling until we stopped in front of the door. “Do you know what they use this for?”
“Um, to train?”
Aiden glanced down at me, smiling tightly. “Do you know how ancient warriors trained? They used to fight Deimos and Phobos, who used the warriors’ worst fears against them during battle.”
“Thanks for the daily weird god history lesson, but—”
“But since the gods of Fear and Terror have been off the circuit for awhile, they created this chamber. They believe that fighting using only your other senses to guide you is the best way to hone your skills and face your fears.”
“Fears of what?”
He opened the door and a black hole greeted us. “Whatever fears are holding you back.”
I dug in my heels. “I’m not afraid.”
“You’re terrified.”
“Aiden, I am two seconds from—” My own surprised shriek cut me off as he hauled me into the chamber, shutting the door behind him, casting the room in utter darkness. My breath froze in my throat. “Aiden… I can’t see anything.”
“That’s the point.”
“Well, thanks, Captain Obvious.” I reached out blindly, but only felt air. “What do you expect me to do in here?” As soon as the question left my mouth, I was assaulted with totally inappropriate images of all the things we could do in here.
“We fight.”
Well, that blew. I inhaled, catching the scent of spice and ocean. Slowly, I lifted my hand. My fingers brushed against something hard and warm—his chest? Then there was nothing but empty space. Oh gods, this wasn’t going to be good at all.
Suddenly, he grasped my arm and spun me around. “Get into stance.”
“Aiden, I really don’t want to do this right now. I am tired and I got kicked in the—”
“Excuses,” he said, his breath dangerously close to my lips.
I locked up.
His hand was gone. “Get into stance.”
“I am.”
Aiden sighed. “No you’re not.”
“How do you know?”
“I can tell. You haven’t moved,” he said. “Now get into stance.”
“Jeez, are you like a cat that can see in the dark or something?” When he didn’t respond, I groaned and moved into the stance: arms halfway up, legs spread, and feet rooted in place. “All right.”
“You need to face your fears, Alex.”
I squinted, but saw nothing. “I thought you said I was fearless.”
“You usually are.” Suddenly, he was in front of me and his scent was driving me to distraction. “Which is why being scared now is so hard for you. Being afraid isn’t a weakness, Alex. It’s only a sign of something you must overcome.”
“Fear is a weakness.” Expecting him to still be in front of me, I decided to go along with him. I threw an elbow out, but he wasn’t there. And then he was at my back, his breath dancing along the back of my neck. I swung around, grasping air. “What are you afraid of?”
A whoosh of air and he was behind me again. “This isn’t about me, Alex. You’re afraid of losing yourself.”
“Of course not. What was I thinking?” I whipped around, cursing when he was gone. This was making me dizzy. “So why don’t you tell me what I’m afraid of, oh-fearless-one?”
“You’re scared of becoming something you have no control over.” He caught my arm as I swung toward the sound of his voice. “That scares you to death.” He let go, backing off.
He was right, and because of that, anger and embarrassment flooded me. Out of the darkness surrounding me, there was patch thicker than the rest. I threw myself at him. Anticipating the move, he caught me by the shoulders. I swung out, catching him in the stomach and chest.
Aiden pushed me back. “You’re angry because I’m right.”
A hoarse sound moved up my throat. I clamped my mouth shut and swung again. My elbow connected with something. “A Sentinel is never afraid. They’d never tuck tail and run.”
“Are you tucking tail and running, Alex?”
The air stirred around me, and I jumped, narrowly missing what was probably a perfect leg sweep. “No!”
“That’s not what it sounded like earlier,” he said. “You wanted to take Lucian up on his offer. Visit Ireland?”
“I… I was…” Dammit, I hated it when he was right.
Aiden laughed from somewhere in the darkness.
I followed the sound. Going too far, too caught up in my anger, I lost my sense of balance when I attacked. Aiden caught my arm, but neither of us could gain our footing in the darkness. When I fell, he came with me. I landed on my back, with Aiden right on top of me.
Aiden caught my wrists before I could hit him again, pinning them above my head and down on the mats. “You always let your emotions get the best of you, Alex.”
I tried to push him off, not trusting myself to speak. A sob was rising in my throat as I wiggled under him, managing to get one leg free.
“Alex,” he warned softly. He pressed down, and when he breathed in, his chest rose against mine. In the utter darkness of the sensory deprivation room, his breath was warm against my lips. I didn’t dare move. Not even a fraction of an inch.
His grip around my wrists slackened and his hand slipped over my shoulder, cupping my cheek. My heart was trying to come out of my chest in those seconds and every muscle locked up, tensed with anticipation. Was he going to kiss me? No. My lip was busted, but if he did, I wouldn’t stop him and I knew that was so wrong. Chills went down my spine, and I relaxed under him.
“It’s okay to be afraid, Alex.”
I threw my head back then, wanting to be far away from him as much as I wanted to be right where I was.
“But you have nothing to fear.” He guided my chin down with gentle fingers. “When will you learn?” His voice was heavy, gruff. “You’re the only person who has control over who you become. You’re too strong to ever lose yourself. I believe that. Why can’t you?”
My breath came out shaky. His faith in me was nearly my undoing. The swelling in my chest would’ve lifted me off the mats. Several moments passed before I could speak. “What are you afraid of?” I asked again.
“I thought you said I was afraid of nothing once,” he threw back.
“I did.”
Aiden shifted slightly and his thumb caressed the curve of my cheek. “I’m afraid of something.”
“What?” I whispered.
He drew in a deep, shuddering breath. “I’m afraid of never being allowed to feel what I do.”