I flinched. Stuart had taken it out on me all right. He’d done it with his fists. But it wasn’t enough for him, clearly. He needed to destroy my men. He wouldn’t be satisfied otherwise.
“He neglected everything else, including his wife. So she turned to me, the only connection she had left to her sons. That’s how it started. It’s not like it has been a constant thing for the past ten years, Scar. Just when Stuart got too much for her.”
I didn’t feel sorry for Phoebe, but I could understand her situation.
“What did you get out of it?”
“Guess it was my way of saying ‘fuck you’ to him over the way he treated you.”
“You could have stopped him.”
“I didn’t have a choice.”
For a moment, I wondered why on earth he wouldn’t have a choice in the matter. Then it became clear. Mason was complicit in my kidnapping. He was complicit in everything going on. Stuart likely held it over him.
It didn’t make it better. The fact was, Mason had been interested in me when I was a teenager. He was six years my senior. It made it creepy and downright disturbing. I wasn’t going to forgive him for it. Mason couldn’t redeem himself in my eyes.
“You had a choice. I didn’t. I’ve had no agency in my life for ten years. And just when I get some…”
Mason’s eyes narrowed. I wasn’t going to finish my sentence. It was clear. He’d taken me against my will and was holding me here. It would be stupid and dangerous for me to try running. Where would I even go? He’d come after me unless I could incapacitate him. And given he watched me most of the time, I wasn’t sure how I could do that without hurting him. It’s not as if he let me near any of the kitchen knives or anything sharp.
I shouldn’t have qualms about hurting him, but the memory of thinking I was killing him the night the boys had forced me to prove my loyalty left me feeling reluctant to take it that far. Going through the pain afterwards wasn’t exactly worth it. It would be more darkness staining my soul. Another thing to feel guilt over. Taking a life wasn’t easy for me the way it was for the boys.
Are you going to leave it for them to do?
I didn’t have an answer to that question. I hadn’t considered how it would feel to kill again, given I didn’t think I would be put in that situation. And I had unresolved issues regarding having thought I’d killed Mason. Sitting here in front of him made me see that. My conflict remained. I wasn’t sure what it would take to push me in either direction.
“There are no good choices in life, Scar. I thought you would have realised that by now.”
His words made me shiver. My life hadn’t had any good choices in it, but I knew what side I fell on in this war.
“Does Stuart know you took me?”
“No. He can fight it out with them. They can burn for all I care. I’m done with Stuart and his revenge shit.” He reached out and took my hands. “I have all I need right here.”
His response made me feel worse. I wanted to pull away. His touching me had my skin crawling. And I had a feeling my time would be up very soon. Mason wasn’t going to let me get away with keeping him out of the bed.
“Isn’t it lunchtime?” I asked, wanting to divert his attention away from me. The look in his eyes made me ill.
He dropped my hands and smiled.
“It is. Stay here, I’ll make us something nice.”
As he got up from the sofa, I shrank back into it. There was a lot I had to think about in light of what he’d said to me. Hearing about Stuart’s reasoning for everything made me hate him even more. Yes, the boys had taken away his sons’ lives, but it didn’t justify the things Stuart had done because of it. Especially when he didn’t know what the boys had done to the twins. He didn’t have any evidence or proof. He had made a bunch of assumptions, and not knowing the truth had only fuelled his need for revenge. There was nothing Stuart wouldn’t do to bring down the Horsemen and destroy me in the process. He’d more than proven that now.
Grief did funny things to people. It twisted them into people their former selves might not recognise. I had a feeling when I finally dealt with my own grief regarding my mother, I wasn’t sure I would recognise myself either. And I wasn’t sure how I felt about that… at all.
Five
Scarlett
The wind whipped my hair around my face as I stood close to the cliff’s edge, staring out at the sea. Three days had passed since my conversation with Mason. It meant I’d been away for a week at this point. Mason told me it took him a day to travel here from London when I’d asked him about it.
I hugged my woollen cardigan closer around my body, shielding myself from the breeze. It was freezing out here, but I didn’t care. It had finally stopped raining and glimpses of the sun broke through the clouds every so often. Being locked up in that damn house for days on end was wearing me down.
The sea was rough, the waves crashing against the cliffs. Birds were flying around, cawing, but those were the only sounds in the air. The wind, the sea and the wildlife. Having spent half my life in a city and the other half in the countryside, this place felt far bleaker than anywhere else I’d been. The thought of existing here for the rest of my life, cut off from everything I once knew, had tears springing to my eyes. I didn’t want that again. To be locked up. Only this time, it was far more remote.
There was another reason I was out here all alone with my thoughts. Last night my luck ran out. Whilst Mason hadn’t tried to touch me, he spent the night next to me. I’d been so terrified he would do something to me in my sleep, I’d been awake for most of it. After he got up, I was able to sleep the morning away. Of course, he could have done something to me at any point but having him right there left me feeling vulnerable and unprotected.
I needed to get away from here. I had no other choice but to find a way to escape him. Who knew how long it would be until he decided he wasn’t going to wait any longer? Was he planning on trying to woo me or something? There was no way in hell I would ever willingly sleep with him. The thought of it made me ill. His friends had tried to force themselves on me. Did he even know about it? I hadn’t asked. It didn’t matter in all honesty. What fucking difference would it make? It wouldn’t change the situation I was in. It wouldn’t make him buying this house away from everyone else to keep me in any less disturbing. I think that was the worst part of all. He’d planned this for years. He knew how I felt about being locked away. He fucking knew. And even knowing that, he’d done this.
I shivered, shoving it all out of my head. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to cry. The more I wanted to run and never look back. But Mason would come after me. He’d chase me the fuck down and then where would I be? In a worse situation. He would probably stop being nice to me. I couldn’t have that.