“Hey, man. Come on in.” My brother, Luke, steps back as I walk through his door and see my beautiful sister-in-law, Natalie, snap her new son, Keaton’s pants shut and lift him into her arms.
“Unca Mawk!” Olivia, Keaton’s older sister exclaims and toddles toward me with her arms up and a wide smile on her perfect little face.
“Hi, troublemaker,” I say and lift her high into the air, then snuggle her in my arms.
“My baby,” she says and points to her brother.
“She’s claimed him,” I say with a laugh and lean in to kiss Nat’s cheek.
“Indeed,” she replies dryly. “Keaton is hers, along with all of his toys and clothes.”
“It’s okay, you can have anything you want,” I tell her and blow raspberries in her neck, making her giggle.
“I’m just about ready,” Luke says and pats his pants and suit pockets, looking about the room with a frown. “Where’s my wallet, baby?”
“On the kitchen counter.” She points it out to him and then laughs. “He’s more forgetful since Keaton has arrived than I am.”
Natalie is a gorgeous woman, with long dark hair and wide green eyes and curves that go on for days. My brother is a lucky, lucky man, and I make sure to do my part and flirt with her as much as possible, just to make him crazy.
“Run away with me,” I say and wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to my side. “He’s ugly and he stinks most of the time.”
“Get your hands off my wife, dude.” Luke scowls at me and shakes his head.
“She loves me. Don’t you, darlin’?”
“I do.” She pats my chest and I smile proudly. “But I love my husband more.”
“Killjoy,” I whisper loudly and sigh in mock despair. “What will I do now?”
“I’m sure you’ve got a few dozen women lined up who’d love the same invitation.”
I smirk and nod, but the truth is, I don’t have as many women on the line as they’d all like to think.
And I’m about to come face to face with the one woman who can bring me to my knees for the first time in ten years.
“I’m so sorry to hear about Adelaide Summers, Mark.” Nat kisses my cheek and rubs my arm soothingly. “She was a good woman.”
“She was.” I nod as the pain pierces my heart all over again. Meredith’s mom lost her fight with breast cancer just a week ago, and I’m going to her funeral today. “She sure was good to me.”
“I would go with you guys, but I’m on baby duty today.”
I grin down at her and kiss Livie’s cheek again. “It’s fine. Luke, you don’t have to go either. It’s no big deal.”
“Yeah, it is,” he says and frowns at me. He can read me too well. “I want to come. I liked Addie.”
I nod, secretly relieved that I won’t be going alone and set Olivia on her feet as Luke leads me to the front door. Halfway there he quickly turns back and pulls his wife in for a long, deep kiss.
Dear Jesus, you’d think they were still dating.
“You’re going to see her in a couple hours, Romeo.”
“Bite me,” he says with a grin. “You’re just jealous.”
“I’m nauseated,” I reply and lead him to my Jeep.
“How are you really?” Luke asks quietly as I pull out of the driveway of his new home toward Bellevue, where the funeral will be held.
“I don’t know, man. I knew she was sick, so it’s not exactly out of the blue.”
“I mean about Meredith, Mark. Jesus, you’re stubborn.”
I shrug my shoulder and rub my hand over my face. I’ve had ten years to get used to the idea of seeing her again, and now I’m nervous as hell.
“She’s probably married,” I reply.
“We both know that isn’t true,” he says calmly.
“Look, it’s been a long time. I’m just going to pay my respects to a woman who I loved. Seeing Mer is part of that.” I swallow hard and Luke catches it.
“But?” he asks.
“But it feels like I’m finally saying goodbye to Mer for good too. Like it’s closure on the whole fucking thing.”
Luke sighs and slips his sunglasses on. “I’m sorry, man.”
I shrug one shoulder and concentrate on the freeway. “It is what it is.”
The funeral home isn’t far from our childhood home. There are several cars parked in the parking lot and some people standing outside, talking. Others are coming in and out of the wide red doors of the funeral home.
“Here goes nothing,” I whisper. Jesus, I haven’t been this nervous in years. Luke and I both slam our doors and walk toward the entrance. Luke looks like the millionaire celebrity in a custom designer suit. I’m also in a dark suit with a purple tie. Purple was Addie’s favorite color.
We walk through the front door and nod hello to a few people we know. Mom and Dad are quietly talking with another couple they know and wave at us when they see us then turn back to their conversation.
As we’re walking into the chapel area, I hear her voice.
Her voice.
I stop in my tracks and stare at her, standing up near the closed casket that’s covered in all of Addie’s favorite flowers, talking with the pastor. She’s dabbing at her eyes with a tissue and nodding. She hasn’t seen me yet, so I take a moment and drink in the sight of her.
She’s no longer the young woman I once knew so intimately. I knew every inch of her. I knew what turned her on and what made her squirm. What made her smile. What made her sigh in pleasure.
But better than that, I knew what made her laugh. What made her sad. How to cheer her up and even what she was going to say before she said it.
I knew everything.
She was my world, and even though I know I was too young, nothing will ever erase the way it felt to stand on her front porch and have her tell me she didn’t want me any more. I’ve fought with that particular demon for years.