The door was open to Ruck’s room on Block D, which put my room to shame. It was bright and cheery, or would be once the sun came streaming through the window.
“Where’s everyone else?”
He hooked a thumb toward the wall. “Next place over has two connecting rooms.”
I nodded. It was the same as they’d done back home. Me and Ruck, we’d always liked to have our space, but those three always kept it close.
I walked around the room, taking in the raised bed and chest for his things. He didn’t have much to fill it with, but it was still nice to have somewhere to put things. I laid a hand on the glass that filled the window.
“Bugs, we’ve been on the road for a while. I know you’re here to fight, but I just want to lay my head down somewhere safe for a night before we get into it.”
The longing in his voice for a night of peace in this place, where he didn’t have to worry about a raid, was too hard to ignore. One night. They’d be okay for a night.
“Okay.” I hugged him like I hadn’t seen him in years, not weeks. “I missed you.”
Ruck hugged me back, and when I thought he was going to say he missed me too, he asked, “Any chance Ryker swings toward guys?”
I stepped back. “Can’t you keep it in your pants for a little while?”
“I’ve kept it in for too long. You need to let one in, if you ask me. That thing has been buttoned shut for way too long. A little nookie might make you a bit more pleasant. Now what about Ryker?”
“I don’t think so, but I’m not sure.” I had a feeling he was more inclined toward women, but I didn’t want to have to explain where that feeling came from. I didn’t know why I knew.
“Damn.”
I turned toward the door. “Goodnight.”
“Not as good as it could’ve been.”
Chapter 14
The next morning, I swung by the rooms on Block D and no one was there.
This was bad. Very, very bad. It meant they’d found breakfast.
I walked into the food hall and there they were, already eating. I skipped past the food and went right to them. Ruck was hunched over his plate, and nearly groaned when he saw me approaching. I didn’t take it personally. He’d asked for a halt in arguing for one night, and he knew that was all I was going to give him.
Ruck glanced up as I sat down. “We’re not leaving yet, and you can’t make us.”
Sinsy, Marra, and Fetch nodded in agreement. This was going to be a battle.
They continued to eat as I continued to try and get them to see the light. “Listen, you have to leave soon. I’ll get you supplies to take with you. He needs me, so he’ll do it. Ryker, the scary man that’s in charge of this place, is going to start a war.”
“We leave when you leave,” Fetch said.
“We’re very good at extracting ourselves,” Ruck said. “And just so you know, calling someone ‘the scary man’ stopped being scary when I was three. If he was walking around lopping off heads, that would be a different story, but these people are all smiling.” Ruck appeared to have more to say, but opted to continue eating instead.
Sinsy took a break between bites to add, “Besides, this place is nice. It’s got real walls and ceilings without holes. No one looks like they’re getting beaten, either.” That last bit was added with a bit of shock.
Okay, so maybe no one was getting beaten here. There were still huge problems. “And if staying means death?” I asked.
Ruck stared at me with the same intensity I had. “If it means living a life that’s not constant hunger pains and misery? Yeah.”
I jerked back. Misery? Had it really been that bad? It had been a struggle. No denying that. But we’d had each other and we’d survived.
I’d tried to keep them safe, but I hadn’t made them happy.
Ruck paused, fork halfway to his mouth as he realized what he’d just said. “Look, it wasn’t just on you. I couldn’t make it better either. It was what it was.”
It was what it was. That was what someone said when they’d clued you in to reality and didn’t know how to reel back the truth.
“Is that how everyone feels? Everyone wants to stay?” I looked about the table, and it was slow nods all around. “Okay, then stay, but you guys have to promise to get out before it gets ugly.”
Ruck actually put his fork down. “We can’t go when it gets ugly.”
“Why?”
Ruck squinted and shook his head slightly, as if shocked I didn’t understand. “Because you’re my family.”
“Even if it ends horribly, we’re a crew. We don’t split,” Sinsy said.
Marra laid a hand on mine where it rested on the table, and then did her circle. We’re one.
Fetch flipped his fork and then pointed at Marra, as if to say, Exactly.
I nodded. “I’m going to go grab something to eat before I have to go train to get us in a war,” I said, trying to pretend they hadn’t all admitted how miserable they’d been, or that their love for me wasn’t going to get them all killed.
I grabbed a biscuit from the line, because I had to take something after I’d used food as an excuse.
“You really expect me to sit here with you all day, every day, week after week?” I paced a hole in his living room. A small hole. I’d only gotten there five minutes ago, but that was five minutes too many now that I knew the day loomed long ahead of me, trapped with Ryker. He took up too much space. It was bad enough in the open air, but confined… This was too much.
When I’d arrived, I’d figured we’d go out to the field, knock the shit out of myself for a while trying to get through his ward, then head back in. I didn’t know I’d be stuck in here with him like two sardines in a can all morning.
It was a lot tougher than it sounded, as his magic seemed to flow around me, similar to the first time I’d met him but different. Even then, it hadn’t felt this strong, this overwhelming, as it seemed to circle me, compressing me.
“Not every day. Here and there, until you figure out how to keep your magic in check. It’s not my fault you’ve been running around chaotically all these years.” He didn’t look at me as he spoke, just pored over all sorts of papers laid out on his table on the other side of the living space.
I hated Ryker’s magic. It was too big and too strong. I felt it everywhere when I was near him, and now he was jacking it up.
I paced a few steps away from him, feeling like a wolf about to bite off her leg to get the hell out of this trap. Six months wasn’t so short. I could do a lot of living in six months.
I turned back toward him, since it was that or hit the wall. He stood with his hands flat on the table, forearms tensed and muscular while he looked at a sheet beneath him. At least he didn’t look altogether comfortable either. And didn’t he have some long-sleeve shirts? It wasn’t that warm. Something a little bulkier? What the hell was he doing with himself that he had all those muscles? It would take an awful long time to saw through one of his limbs.
I turned on my heel before I got any closer than five feet from where he was. “What am I supposed to do all day?”
“Whatever you want, as long as it’s quieter than what you’re doing now. I don’t want to listen to you carrying on and on, but I guess we’re both screwed.”
The irritation in his voice made me feel better, and I didn’t care if that was petty. He clearly didn’t want to be doing this either. He wasn’t always pleasant, but I could feel how even his magic was wound tight. Then it bounced off mine and made it even worse, like we were ricocheting off each other’s magic or something.
Fuck this. I had to get out of here. I stood and walked toward the door.
“Before you leave, let me add that the longer this takes, the longer you’re stuck here in general. You’ve only got a six-month extension on your life, and I don’t plan on extending that just so you can throw tantrums.”