The Devil's Kiss

Chapter Fourteen



I reached out, trailing my fingers through the soft leaves of my weeping willow. The second we came home, I couldn’t stand being near anyone. Haven continued to cry hysterically, and it annoyed me beyond belief. I just wanted to be alone.

Without hesitation, I came to my willow. It felt like a lifetime since I’d been here last. But the longer I sat, the more I couldn’t remember why I liked being here so much. I filtered through every memory I had, ran through every experience that happened here. The connection to my mother, my first time with Kyden, but I couldn’t feel anything. It was as if it was blocked. My life’s special moments held no importance anymore.

Footsteps made me lift my head. Kyden slowly approached. He gave me a soft smile, and I watched him intently. Why was I interested in him? What was it about him? After a few seconds of pondering, I still couldn’t find an answer to that question.

When he reached me, he sat down beside me, and took my hand. The instant our skin connected I was slammed with every answer to those questions. This was my willow, my favorite place to be and I loved Kyden with all that I was.

How had I even questioned that?

Tears filled my eyes as I gazed at him. “I’m not me anymore. When you’re not touching me it’s like I’m gone.” I glanced down to our hands, pained to even look at him. “This is the only way I feel like myself anymore. The only way I still feel connected to you or feel connected to anything. I’m disappearing, Kyden.”

He reached up putting his hands on my face as he cupped my cheeks. “You are still in there.”

I shook my head, tears falling down my cheeks. “Every minute that passes I lose more of myself.” I felt sickened by the truth of what was happening here. “I wasn’t expecting this to all happen so quickly. I thought I’d be strong enough to fight against it. I thought I could beat it.”

He sighed deeply, his grip on my face fierce. “You can beat it. You are still there and we have to hold on to that. You need to hold onto that. You can’t let that part of yourself go. Do not give into it.”

“I’m trying, but it’s getting harder. Look at what I did tonight. I killed those witches out of anger, Kyden.” Shame and disgust made it hard to swallow. “It’s taking me.”

“You are still in there,” he said fiercely. His words were an attempt to hold onto us—to save us from this—to keep a smidgen of hope in the midst of all this chaos.

“I can’t lose you,” I barely got the words out. “I can’t go on without you.”

“You won’t have to, Álainn.” He leaned in, took my lips, and I lunged myself on him.

Scared that soon this would be the last time I would be myself around him. How much time would I have left with Kyden? “Kyden…” I whispered.

He raised his hand to my mouth and pressed his fingertips against my lips. “Don’t say it.”

“I have to. You have to let me,” I said against his hand, needing to make sure he understood how I felt because after tonight, I wasn’t sure how much longer I would feel it.

He slowly pulled his hand away, and as he did, tears filled his eyes. “I love you, Kyden—truly, and irrefutably love you. I love you so much sometimes it hurts. Hurts to be away from you, even hurts to be near you. No matter what happens, my heart is yours, and only yours. Remember that! Remember that I…” I pointed to my heart. “The real me is missing you and wishing I was in your arms.”

He caught my tear with his finger, and smiled sweetly. “It is not over, Álainn.”

The words were said, but it was a lie. The darkness was beginning to overtake me, and it was inevitable that I would eventually give in to it. No matter how hard I tried, it was going to win. I knew it and so did Kyden. All I could do was cry as my dreams with Kyden, the life that was once mine would be over and my heart crumpled to pieces.

“Hush,” Kyden hummed. He laid me back and unclipped my kilt. As I raised my hips, he removed my shorts slowly. “We have tonight. We have now. This is what you have to remember. It’s this,” he said softly, caressing my body. “It’s the way I love you.” He removed his gear, rubbed himself leisurely along my body. “It’s how my body feels when it’s close to yours.” He lifted his hips, entered me oh-so-gently. “It’s the way it feels to be joined.”

I moaned, his words were so true. This was right. This is where my heart belonged. It belonged to him and it always would. Magnus could never have that. No matter how much he tried to steal it away.

Kyden enclosed his body on top of mine and we hugged each other as we made love—held onto each other to keep this night forever. This wasn’t about sexual satisfaction or heat, it was about relishing in what we shared.

He whispered soft words in my ear of how he loved me, that he needed me, and I made his life complete. I cried hearing them. Wished that this wasn’t happening, that I could stay right here forever. However, wishing for it wasn’t going to change what was happening. Something deep within me was changing—far too rapidly.

I never climaxed, and Kyden’s release was quiet and barely felt by me as I cried in his arms. The part that tore into me was knowing that when Kyden’s touch left mine, the despair I was suffering would wash away to something dark. Desperately, I wanted to stay like this locked in his arms forever. If I held onto him, our connection remained. I would stay. I wouldn’t be lost. “You can’t ever let go of me,” I whispered.

Kyden rose up above me, determination strong on his features. “I will do what I have to in order to keep you.”

I never replied. What could he do?

“Nexi, I’m coming down,” Zia’s voice came to me.

“We have to get dressed,” I said to Kyden. “Zia’s on her way.”

Kyden let go of me and a wallop of anger filled me, an overwhelming blast of fury. He dressed quickly, took my hand and the sadness sank back in. Exhaustion overtook me immediately. Suffering such quick, intense emotions was more than draining. He helped me dress, never letting go of my hand.

When Zia and Talon reached us, they sat beside us, and we all just stared at each other. No one said a word. What was there to say?

Zia started crying.

I reached out to her, wanting nothing more than to ease her pain. She was like a mother to me, and as hard as it was to be facing the loss of Kyden, it would be just as hard as to lose her too. “Zia,” I said softly.

Surprising me, she jumped to her feet. “No,” she roared. “You have to fight against this. Do what you must. You cannot let this be so.”

Without any inkling of warning, she slapped me across the face impeccably hard. I sat there, stunned.

“You must stop this,” she screeched. “I love you. I need you here.”

I reached up, put a hand to my stinging face. “What can I do?” My cries were loud screams. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to stop it. Don’t you think I would if I could? I don’t want this!”

Sobbing, she fell to the ground and Talon gathered her up in his arms. “No,” she cried. Again and again she screamed it.

All I could do was sit and watch her. I met Kyden’s sad eyes. “What do I do?” I pleaded for him to tell me, for him to find a way to stop this.

Kyden stood, strong and determined. “No more of this. We are done talking.” He reached down, took my hand and pulled me to my feet. “Let’s go. I am taking you somewhere where you can have a moment’s peace.”

As we walked away, my gaze met Talon’s. He still had said nothing, but he didn’t need to. His face said it all. He was hurting.

The further away we got from them, they less I understood of what had just taken place. Why had Zia’s words affected me so? What the heck had I been crying about? I was close to her, I knew that much, but that is where the feeling stopped. It was a thought, more of a word spoken, then a feeling inside my soul. All that remained in me was a jumble of confusion. A wonderment of what it actually meant to be close to her. Why was I feeling nothing toward her? Furthermore, what did it feel like to feel anything at all?

I gave my head a shake, clearing the thoughts. “Where are we going?” I asked Kyden.

He gripped my hand, his eyes searching. Apparently whatever he was looking for, he didn’t find. His gaze tore from mine as he bowed his head. “I’m taking you to see something that is filled with happiness.”

Silence fell between us as we made our way through the grounds of the Otherworld, back toward the Council. My gaze flicked between Kyden, the grass, and the sky. I felt exhausted, nearly ready to just fall down and die.

Kyden’s presence beside me was the only thing holding me together now. His strength provided a much-needed blanket to keep going. He was right, we had now, and all I thought about. Forced myself to remember why I loved him, the way he made me feel. It surprised me to find these emotions for him still lay strong within me because besides his presence in my heart, I felt nothing else.

Once at the castle, we stepped in the foyer, then quickly made our way to the portal. Still unknowing where we going, I let my mind go blank as Kyden opened the door. The flash of light hit and when it ceased, I opened my eyes to see Valor’s home.

The view only lasted a second as I caught sight of Rynn and Briggs who approached from the side of the house.

When they reached us, Rynn gave me a strange look. “Nexi?” she said as if she’d never met me before. “Something is terribly wrong. What’s happened?”

Kyden quickly gave her a rundown, a condensed version of our hell. By the end of it, Rynn was trembling, but Briggs didn’t look shocked to hear what was being said. Apparently, word had spread about my current situation.

“There is an Underworld?” Rynn asked, her voice trembled slightly. “Like demons and scary things like that?”

Briggs nodded. “Aye.”

Then, her stunned gaze met mine. “And you’re going to be mated to their leader?”

All I could do was nod. The point of denial had passed. It wasn’t a question of if, now the only question was when. My gut told me time was counting down. My only thoughts were of Kyden. If I kept the connection with him, he wouldn’t be lost to me. That is all that mattered now.

The tone of Rynn’s voice was almost beseeching, “We have to do something to help you.” Then, she glanced back to Briggs. “What can we do to help her, Briggs?”

“I’m afraid, darlin’, there’s nothing we can do.” Then, he took my hand and pulled me away from Kyden, into a hug.

The second my touch left Kyden’s, darkness seeped in, resentment held me frozen. Resentment for what, I had no idea. All I did know, I wanted this wolf off me, and I wanted it now.

Kyden lunged forward, pulled me back to him, and the detestation within me subsided immediately. “She needs the connection.”

“He can’t let me go,” I told Briggs firmly. It was all we had left, a thin string we scrambled to keep hold of. As the words left my mouth, only a small part of me understood why I needed him so much. “We have some news of the attack on Rynn,” Kyden said to Briggs, breaking the silence that had filled the air.

Rynn’s eyes went wide. “You do?”

Kyden gave them the low down on Magnus’ plan and the extent of Rynn’s involvement.

By the end of it, Briggs looked torn. He finally glanced at me. “This comes with mixed feelings,” he said softly.

“I know,” I told him in all honesty. If Magnus hadn’t planned what he had, done what he did, Rynn would be dead and Briggs wouldn’t have met her. His mate. I gave Briggs a hug, keeping a hold on Kyden’s hand—awkward to say the least. “I wouldn’t change any of this if it meant Rynn survived. Remember that.”

Sad gazes met mine.

Tears filled Rynn’s eyes as she leaned against Briggs. “You don’t even sound like you.”

“What do I sound like?” I asked.

She wiped away a tear that rolled down her cheek. “Cold.”

Again, silence fell around us as the others processed what was happening here began to sink in. It was obvious that I was changing. My heart told me to say and think things, but inside I was beginning to die. Everyone saw it.

Briggs finally let out a deep sigh, placed his hand on Kyden’s shoulder. “They are waiting for us.”

Kyden glanced down to me, gave me a soft smile. “Come on, Álainn. This night is because of you.”

I gave him a curious look as he pulled on my hand a little to get my feet working. His words confused me, what had I done that would bring us back to Valor’s?

When I met the back of Valor’s house, and saw his backfield was full of wolves, my confusion only deepened. “What’s happening here?” I asked Kyden.

He smiled. Never had his smile looked so sad. “A mating ceremony.”

“Whose?”

“Isla.”

Oh! I glanced back out, immediately connecting with Valor as he approached me. By the time he reached me, he was frowning. “Nexi,” he whispered.

“Hello, Valor,” I said in return.

His entire body tensed. Why was he looking at me like this? He could barely contain himself. What was going on? Before I could think of that anymore he leaned forward, shocking me completely when he kissed my lips.

As he backed away, he placed his hands on my shoulders, and bowed his head to meet my gaze. “You are a part of my family, no matter what. Do you hear me?”

Before I had a chance to really process that, Isla appeared beside me. She wore a long flowing pink chevron dress, her eyes focused deeply on Thor even as she said to me. “Thanks, Nexi.”

My mind reeled, trying to understand all this. Why was she thanking me? But then, a memory surfaced, a conversation with Valor. It was impossible to understand my motivations now. Why had I thought it so important that Valor agree to this bonding ceremony? After a moment of thinking, I came up blank.

Luckily, no one said more on the matter



Valor took Isla’s arm and approached Thor. Then, the ceremony began. Kyden wrapped himself around my back. I leaned against him and listened to Valor’s words. Saw the happiness spread across Isla’s face and the way Thor watched her with adoring eyes.

As each second passed and each word spoken, an odd feeling began to stir within me. I tried to shake it away, clenched onto Kyden tighter, but something about being here, seeing this bond gnawed at me. Made me yearn for something, but I just couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

“Thor.” Valor smiled, completing the ceremony. “Kiss your mate and seal your bond.”

Thor smiled gloriously, then took Isla into a brilliant kiss. Two souls, long withheld from one another had finally become one.

Swiftly, it hit me then. What I felt made sense. I was filled with an uncontrollable jealously, completely desolate that they were experiencing this and I wasn’t.

This should have been my life.

The worst part—and it hit hard—I was feeling it in Kyden’s arms. I was losing myself while he touched me. A wave of sickness washed over me. Without thought, I pulled away from him and ran.

“Nexi,” Kyden called out.

I didn’t look back as I ran toward the front of the house. Once there, away from watchful eyes, I dropped to me knees and threw up violently. I heaved so deeply, it was impossible to breathe.

After my stomach settled, I raised my head to see Rynn standing beside me.

“You okay?” she asked.

I wiped my mouth and leaned against my legs. “No.”

Anger burned within me, and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember why I had been throwing up. What made me sick? I knew something upset me, but I just couldn’t place it. Couldn’t remember the emotion that went with it.

Rynn lunged forward, wrapped herself around me and hugged me tight. “It will be alright. It has to be.”

My arms stayed glued at my sides, fists clenched. “No, Rynn. It doesn’t.” My voice came out as a low growl. Everything was wrong. Nothing was how it should be. I wasn’t where I should be.

Immediately, she backed away, scrambled back so she rested a foot away.

Darkness, hate and rage burned within me.

Briggs suddenly was there beside her, lifting Rynn to her feet and placing her protectively behind him. “Nexi,” he said, cautiously.

“What,” I snapped.

Apprehension spread across his face. Why shouldn’t he be afraid? I could destroy him where he stood, but I didn’t want to do that. Something made me hesitate from taking my rage out on him.

Kyden was right behind him, but he didn’t stop and didn’t look afraid. He stalked right toward me.

“Stay away from me,” I growled.

“No,” he growled back, threw his body at me.

The second his body landed on top of mine, I was flooded with heart-wrenching despair as my mind cleared and I realized what had just happened. Even his connection was fading. The bond with Magnus was taking me to the one place I thought it would never reach.

“Kyden…” I exhaled.

“I am here,” he stated with a heartrending sigh.