Tainted Night, Tainted Blood

27



It turned out there wasn’t much else to talk about. I couldn’t face going back down into the basement to see Thomas, especially since the woman would most likely still be in her cell. Even if she wasn’t, the blood would be there. I couldn’t handle that right then.

Nathan spent most of the conversation glaring at everyone and everything. It was clear he thought more had gone on in the bedroom than what really had. I knew I should have said something, told him that nothing had happened, yet I was getting a perverse sense of pleasure seeing him squirm. It served him right, really. He didn’t need to be concerned about my business anyway.

Eventually, it was decided there was little else we could do that night. Jonathan offered to let me spend the day in the Den, but I declined. I could almost feel Thomas below. It would drive me crazy knowing he was locked up somewhere beneath me.

I decided the best course of action would be for me to go home and try to relax. Maybe talking to Ethan would help me figure out how in the hell I was going to help Thomas get better. None of us had any ideas. It had taken Thomas this long to get to where he was now. It could take years more before he improved further.

Jonathan walked me to the door, earning more foul looks from Nathan. Pablo, of course, had to join in, glaring from an alcove as we headed for the stairs. Maybe the two of them could get together and form an anti-Kat group where they could say all the nasty things they wanted about me. Whatever made them happy, right?

Jonathan assured me he wouldn’t tell Adrian anything. He also promised to explain the woman’s death away as an accident. Davin wouldn’t let the truth slip, he was sure. Not if the vampire wanted his night under the stars.

I thanked him and hurried away before he decided to try to resume our little moment in the bedroom. I could tell the thought had crossed his mind. As much as I might have enjoyed seeing what it was like, it would be too much of a distraction. Besides, if I let him get that close again, I wasn’t so sure I would be able to stop him from going further.

Still, the thought of what might have been made the walk back to the Den’s garage lonely. Each step weighed on me. I knew I had done the right thing in capturing Thomas, in leaving the Den when I had. I just needed time to figure out what to do next.

I mounted my Honda and tore out of the garage as if I could outrun my thoughts. I needed to get away. The farther I went, the better it would be for everyone.

I found myself turning away from home and heading toward Delai. I could get away from everything there. I could almost hear the town calling to me. The place scared me a little, but at the same time, it made me feel good. What would one more night hurt?

The wind buffeted me as I sped along, intent on fleeing from my troubles. If Thomas hadn’t been involved, I think I would have been okay. With him at the center of all of this, I was a mess inside. I could hardly tell which way was up.

I slowed, realizing running away wasn’t going to help anyone. Thomas needed me. Ethan would be waiting for me. I couldn’t abandon either of them like that.

A strange sense of relief flowed over me as I did a U-turn, earning a few honks and curses, and headed toward home. It was as if I had escaped putting myself in even more danger without realizing it. Once all of this was over, I could consider paying Delai another visit. Maybe I could take Thomas. Maybe we’d both find a place to belong.

It was still pretty dark when I rode up my driveway. The living room light was on, and I pulled into the garage feeling guilty. I should have taken more time out of my night to spend with Ethan. He could use the company just as much as I could. And while I could just up and leave any time I wanted, Ethan couldn’t. Just leaving the house gave him a massive panic attack.

I hurried inside and found Ethan waiting for me in the dining room. He was holding a cup of coffee up under his chin like he was trying to warm his face with the steam. The low sound of the television came from the other room.

“Are you ... ?” He floundered for a moment before falling silent.

“I’m fine,” I said. “We found Thomas.”

Ethan’s eyes widened and he set the cup down on the table. “Is he still alive?”

I nodded and my face must have fallen, because a look of concern crossed his visage. I tried to come up with something to say that would explain what condition Thomas was in, but nothing came to mind. Every time I tried to picture him, I kept seeing the woman in her cell, her blood pumping onto the cold concrete.

“Do you think you can fix him?” Ethan asked. “I mean, no one’s ever found a cure as far as I know.”

“I don’t know.”

He took a deep breath and started pacing. He ran his fingers through his hair, mussing his already wild locks.

I watched him and could see his growing agitation. He wanted to say something, that much was clear. I waited him out, not wanting to interrupt his thought process. I trusted him to come up with a solution. He seemed to always know what to do, how best to help. It’s what he did.

“I was thinking,” he said after a few moments. “But I don’t know if you want to hear it.” He gave me a worried look.

“Go for it,” I said. “I don’t think you can say anything that will make my night any worse than it’s already been.”

He made a sound. I wasn’t sure if it was a cough or a laugh. It was probably a little bit of both. “I’m not so sure about that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’m too tired to let anything faze me tonight.”

The concern crossed his face again. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked. “You look beat.”

I closed my eyes and fought against the urge to get angry. I wasn’t even sure what I was angry about. Was it the constant questions asking how I was feeling? Was it thinking about Thomas? About the dead woman?

About Jonathan?

I felt myself start to blush and did my best to hide it. I so didn’t need Ethan learning about what had nearly taken place in Jonathan’s bedroom.

“I’ve been pummeled, torn, stitched, and had a close confrontation with a brother I thought lost forever,” I said instead. “I’m more than beat.”

He smiled nervously. “I can always talk to you about it later,” he said. “I haven’t worked on anything tonight and, well, I’m getting a little agitated myself.”

My thoughts immediately went to his demon. I was positive that was what was making him anxious. I had no idea what kind of hold it had on him, but I could tell whatever it was, it was pretty strong.

“Say what you need to say,” I said. “Then I’m going to go upstairs, take a long, hot bath, and spend the day trying to figure out what in the hell I’m going to do about this piss hole of a situation.”

Ethan licked his lips and took a step away from me. “It’s just that ...” He trailed off and scrunched up his face like he was trying to figure out how to say something really bad. “You know about ... well ... Beligral.” He nearly whispered the demon’s name.

“Yeah,” I said, suddenly wary. I really didn’t want to have to worry about the demon on top of everything else.

“Well, you see, he’s good at a lot of things,” Ethan went on. He had stopped pacing and looked like he was ready to bolt the moment I showed a hint of anger. I didn’t blame him.

“What’s your point?”

“I was thinking that if you could bring Thomas here or something, maybe Beligral could, I don’t know, help somehow?”

I closed my eyes and counted to ten. I couldn’t believe he was dropping this on me now. As much as I liked Ethan, he could choose some piss-poor times to bring things up.

“But I can see you don’t want to talk about that right now,” he said. He backpedaled out of the dining room and headed for the stairs. His full cup of coffee was still sitting on the table. “I’ll, uh, be downstairs for a little while. See you tomorrow night.” He scurried out of sight before I could say anything.

I all but stomped up the stairs to my room, wondering why I put up with him sometimes. I was just glad he was so preoccupied with his demon shit, he hadn’t commented on my overlarge shirt. I didn’t want to have to explain that to him. I could hardly explain it to myself.

I was halfway down the hall before I realized I’d left my shortened coat at the Den. Hell, my gun and shoulder holster were still sitting beside Jonathan’s bed.

I grumbled all the way into my bedroom. I slipped out of my clothes and started the bath. I couldn’t believe I’d been so forgetful. The gun was loaded with silver bullets.

If Nathan found it first, what was to stop him from using it on me the next chance he got? The bullets would paralyze me just as fast as they would one of the wolves.

I was starting to get scatterbrained. I never left anything behind, and yet how many weapons have I lost in just the last few days? I just wanted everything to be over so things could get back to normal.

The bath was comforting, but it hurt. The bandages on my back slowly peeled away the longer I soaked, exposing the wounds to the hot water. I sort of wished I could melt away as easily. Sometimes it seemed like it would just be easier that way.

At least the stinging in my back kept my mind off of everything else. It wasn’t until I slid out of the water and toweled dry that things started flooding back.

I was over the dead woman at least. It surprised me to realize I didn’t feel bad any longer. She’d tried to kill me, would have killed others if given the chance. Why I’d ever felt guilty for killing her was beyond me. If she hadn’t paralyzed me the night she attacked me, I would have killed her then. What were a few days in between?

I tried not to think about it. If I really looked at my actions back at the Den, I might start hating myself all over again. There were too many important things to worry about for me to start sulking again.

I wandered into the bedroom, picking up Jonathan’s shirt as I crossed the room. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until I was sitting on the bed, his long shirt draped over my shoulders, hanging to my knees. It felt good against my skin, almost like a favorite nightgown.

I sighed. What was my life coming to? I should have burnt the damn shirt the moment I had taken it off. I didn’t need the reminder. I shouldn’t have let Jonathan fix up my back. I could have used the bath to clean out the wound. I’d done as much before.

A cricket chirruped outside my window. The night was fading and it would soon be morning. I was going to be stuck in my room for hours, alone with my own thoughts. I needed to be spending that time thinking about Thomas, not Jonathan.

But it was hard. Every time I thought about my brother, I thought about his rage-filled glare, the way he came at me, intent to kill. There was no doubt he would have torn my head from my shoulders if I had let him.

Everything I had, everything I believed in, was slowly falling apart.

The night eventually gave way to day and I couldn’t make myself stop thinking. Nothing I came up with was helpful. I kept seeing the same visions, going over the same thoughts, without ever once coming to any sort of decision. I wasn’t cut out for this.

About halfway through the day, I realized I was getting nowhere. It was like I had come up against a solid brick wall with no way around. I could beat at it all I wanted, but it wouldn’t get me through to the other side. I knew the answers were there, just out of reach. I needed something to get to them.

And that was when it hit me.

I’d spent so long refusing to listen to anything that wasn’t what I wanted to hear, I missed the bigger picture. No one had ever cured someone whose blood had been mixed. It was supposedly impossible. Even Lei wouldn’t know what to do.

But Lei, like everyone else I knew, was only mortal. We were all limited by our knowledge, by what we have experienced. I needed someone who could go outside what we knew, look down other avenues for answers. The door to the other side of the wall was there. I just couldn’t reach it by myself.

But I knew someone who could.

I waited impatiently for the sun to go down. As soon as night fell, I was out of my room, pounding on Ethan’s door. He opened it, eyes heavy. He stared at me a moment, then his eyes traveled down to my toes and back up again.

Uh,” he said, his voice thick with sleep. He had definitely stayed up too late. He looked back down, his gaze settling around my knees.

I followed his gaze and felt a hint of aggravation. While Jonathan’s shirt worked fine to lie around in alone, it wasn’t long enough for me to walk around in without wearing pants. I might not be a prude, but that didn’t mean I needed to be flashing so much leg around Ethan. It might distract him.

“Up here,” I said, snapping my fingers. As much as I didn’t care how much of me he saw, it did bother me he was staring so openly.

Ethan dragged his eyes to my face. He blinked a few more times as if he wasn’t quite awake, then suddenly his eyes widened. “Oh,” he said, taking a step back. “I didn’t mean ...” He glanced down again and nearly broke his own neck as he jerked his head back up. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “I have something to ask of you.”

“Sure,” Ethan said. He tried to smooth down the wildness of his hair. He was still wearing the same clothes he had been wearing the night before. He smelled of stale sweat and pizza. He must have come upstairs and passed out right away.

“I’ve changed my mind,” I said. Something clenched in my gut as I spoke. Did I really want to do this?

Ethan’s brow crinkled. He rubbed at his face with both hands like he wasn’t quite sure he was actually awake. He looked at me, slightly bewildered. “About?”

I stared into his eyes and wondered how Ethan was able to do this day after day. I knew his life was hard, knew every moment had to scare him to death. I mean, he was living with a vampire. No normal person could do that every day and stay sane.

I knew what I was about to ask of him was stupid, would probably somehow make his life worse. I knew it would probably cause more harm than good, but what choice did I have? I couldn’t stand to see my brother suffer any longer. If this had even the slightest chance of working, I was willing to take the chance that it would blow up in my face.

“Kat?” Ethan said. “What did you want?”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. There was no going back now.

“I want you to take me down into your lab,” I said. It felt like the entire world suddenly stopped to wait for what I had to say next. I scarcely dared to breathe. “It’s time I met your demon.”