Outside, Gaire appears to be calm, unaffected, but like an animal around others, I sense a battle within. It seeps from his pores, a vibrating lust. He’s panting with fear contradicted by an uncomfortable hunger. And none of this gives me the rush, the cocky, heady high it usually does when a human veers out of control with desire and need. This is different. This time I know what he’s feeling. I’m right there with him. I’m on the edge of devouring him—screw the food—I need his skin against mine. Right now.
While one part of me wants to run away, shed this silly body, and never look back, the distraction and physical reaction I’m having coaxes me to hurry into whatever it is that’s happening here, head first, full throttle. His short glances, the way he sniffs the air when I move, and the way the beat of his heart resonates with each note it strikes is such a rush. I’m losing control, not thinking clearly. Judging by my host’s moist undies, I’m sure as hell not standing outside of the lust looking in.
He pulls plates onto the shelf of the grill with a clatter that shocks me out of myself and into CeCe. “Smells good,” I say, eyes locked on his.
“Yes, it does,” he answers, almost growling the words.
Actually, the smell of human food is always nauseating. The sweet scent of butter, dead chicken fetus frying in a mixture of triglyceride extracted plant matter, smoked meat, and the acidic aroma of coffee coat CeCe’s nostrils.
“Are we eating in the dining area?” I ask, while telling myself, food does keep the body looking healthy, and quench an uncomfortable urge.
“I thought maybe upstairs,” he says, his eyes intense, “in my apartment.”
And suddenly I have a freaking heartbeat hammering in my chest.
“Okay.” I cannot believe I actually squeaked that word. Well, I did use CeCe’s voice, but still.
He chuckles. “You want to grab us the last two cups of coffee in the pot and follow me up?”
Oh, hell no!
“Sure.”
“I take mine black,” he says. “The cream is in the fridge if you need some.”
I so want to come back with something all nasty-bad-girl, but inside, the doppelganger is quivering. I pour black acrid stuff into two cups that will never feel the touch of CeCe’s lips. I pick them up, my thoughts mindlessly churning, and slosh coffee over CeCe’s shaking hands.
“Crap,” I grumble, set them down, and take several deep breaths. I actually felt the need to take in air. A doppelganger doesn’t need oxygen, blood, or a human body to exist. Yet, it is sure acting like it does.
CeCe and her family will be back in a matter of weeks, and I will not be able to stay dressed in her skin to build something other than a brief sexual relationship with a human, albeit a special human, but still... And I sure as hell can’t shed the guise and show him who I really am, now can I? Talk about nightmares. Why did I ever think there could be more?
Gaire
Taking her up to my apartment is butt-ass stupid even if she does seem to carry an otherworld scent, actions I can’t intuitively judge, a mind I can’t seem to understand, and an uncontrollable interest, like me.
“Watch your step,” I tell the succulent morsel behind me as we exit behind the diner and climb a stairway that leads up to my back door. “There are two nails I keep forgetting to hammer back into the wood—stair six, and the second from the top.”
In a lust induced trance, I take the steps two at a time. The tap of CeCe’s footsteps follow.
Where are you going with this, Rogaire? My mother’s words invade my thoughts and make me think of my childhood and the reason I left the family. We are not human, she’d said, and if you mount her, you’ll bite her. And if you bite her, you’ll kill her.
I never believed my mother, until it happened. Afterward, I ran. I’ve been running from my shame and punishment ever since.
But this one is different, I tell myself. I know it. I can smell it and feel it. If you bed her, you’ll bite her. If you bite her...
I shake my mother’s words off this time. I open the door to my apartment, step in knowing full well, like with any human, I can’t just shift and run to keep from biting her. Talk about monsters. This has gone too far.
Chapter 4
CeCe
As I walk into Gaire’s apartment all I can think is, wow! The space, with a twenty foot ceiling, is one big loft-type room creatively sectioned off by stark, dark textures. It’s amazing.