Chapter 2
“This sucks,” Trip said as he studied the cement floor of our cell. I had lost count of how many times he’d said that already.
The two of us had been separated from the others not too long after getting our mug shots taken. I suppose it was good policy to not put too many members of the same rumble into the same cell afterwards. Sure, it was an ugly place that smelled like barf and was filled with losers, but it wasn’t that bad. “Come on, dude. Way nicer than the last jail I was in.” I slapped my bench. “See this? Not a single scorpion in sight.”
“We’re not in Mexico, and your mother-in-law probably isn’t going to show up and murder all the guards, either.”
True. All things considered, though, despite having just been in a fight, both of us were relatively unscathed. My abs hurt and Lacoco had clipped me a few times, and I had a terrible headache from landing in the fountain, but overall I was doing fine. “Just trying to keep things in perspective is all.”
“You’re not helping.” Trip lowered his voice enough that the dregs of society we shared the holding area with wouldn’t overhear. He looked around nervously. “I’ve never been arrested before. I’ve never even got a speeding ticket! I’ve got a spotless record.”
“Had,” I corrected. “Does it matter? All the goody-two-shoesness in the world didn’t keep the feds from beating you like a pi?ata that one time anyway…And look on the bright side, now you’ll have way more street cred with the gnomes.”
From what we could put together about the chaotic aftermath of the events at the Last Dragon Buffet, most of my dinner party had ended up in jail. A few had been taken directly to the hospital, but Trip said that he was pretty sure he saw Tanya escape through the kitchen. Elves were sneaky like that. Matters had been complicated when the responding officers discovered that almost all of us had been carrying at least a gun, and in some cases, two or more guns. The cop patting down Cooper had nearly had a coronary when he had found the first hand grenade.
I couldn’t speak for Paranormal Tactical, but on our side the concealed weapons were perfectly legal, with all the paperwork done and fees paid. If a Hunter knew he was going to be somewhere, he was going to make sure he would be there armed, and the peculiar legalities of our career field allowed us quite a bit of leeway when it came to determining what exactly constituted armed.
Despite the thirty-six handguns, thirty-two knives, four wooden stakes, three collapsible batons, two frags, a block of C4, Lee’s sword cane, and the piano-wire garrote collected by the Las Vegas PD, not a single weapon had been introduced into our brawl by either side, unless you counted the chair that somebody had whacked Shawn Haight over the head with. The good stuff was in case of monsters, not people…Though I felt sorry for any bozo who might decide to try to mug a Monster Hunter.
A jailer stopped at our cell. “Jones and Pitt.” There was a buzzing noise, a loud click, and our cell door rattled open. “You’re free to go.”
That was quick. We had only been here for a few hours and hadn’t even been questioned yet, let alone brought in front of a judge. “Really?” The assorted hoodlums, drug dealers, drunk drivers, and johns that were sharing our holding area looked at us with no small amount of jealousy. “Already?”
“It’s your lucky day. This way.”
Earl Harbinger was in the waiting area. Hands shoved deep into the pockets of his leather jacket, which was what he did when he needed to keep his hands occupied because he was somewhere where he couldn’t smoke. I’d like to be able to say that he seemed relieved to see us, but on the contrary, my boss was rather perturbed.
“Hey, Earl. Thanks for—”
He cut me right off. “You have any idea how many favors I had to call in to keep anyone from pressing charges on you idiots?” The more annoyed Earl was, the more southern he sounded, and right about then, he sounded like he was ready to fry up some catfish and watch some NASCAR.
I looked to Trip, who shrugged. “Lots?”
“Lots? Funny, that’s the exact same word the casino’s lawyers told me when I asked how much the damages were going to be.”
“That bad?”
“Wait until you see the invoice. It’s the size of a phone book.” Earl rolled his eyes. “I thought charging us for an ice sculpture that was gonna melt anyways was a bit of overkill. They’ve got nothing on the law though. MHI has done jobs for the city before. They still owed us for taking out one of the nastiest ever vampire infestations a few years back, so they didn’t bend us over too bad, but the next time Las Vegas needs our services, we’re basically working for free. You know how much that offends me in principle? Ruthless bargainers there. I’ve got Julie and Eddings working up the new contract now.”
Eddings was our team leader in Las Vegas, and from what I had heard about him, he wasn’t going to like working pro bono. “I’m really sorry, Earl.”
“And I was lucky to wiggle out that easy. I ever tell you how much I despise Nevada’s jackass senator? The minute he heard there were Hunters on the hook he came sniffing for a deal. Only time he’s worried about a budget is when it comes to screwing over Hunters. Cutthroat rat bastard. I think we dodged a bullet. Lucky for us the casino management is dead set on Ick-mip being a success, which would be tough with two dozen of the attendees in jail.”
“I appreciate you getting us out.”
Earl snorted. “I didn’t spring you out of the goodness of my heart, Z. Don’t think I did this because we’re related now, either. I figure, pretty as Julie is, she could find a replacement husband in a couple days. Week tops.”
Sometimes it could be difficult to have the toughest Hunter of all time as your great-grandfather-in-law, but I had helped fight a demon inside his brain once, so we’d bonded. “I love you too, Earl.”
“Smartass.” Earl looked toward the main hall. The rest of us were being brought out, and Earl nodded at VanZant when he arrived. “Hell, if I wasn’t so worried about maybe needing y’all on short notice and hamstringing a quarter of my teams, I would’ve been happy to let the system take its time, and we’d just post bail when they eventually got around to it. But I got word Paranormal Tactical was trying to cut their own deal, with my clients, and that I will not tolerate.”
VanZant came over. “Admit it, old man. You’re just mad because we had a fistfight and nobody invited you. I seem to remember a time that me, you, and Sam remodeled a bar in Wyoming.”
“First time I’d ever beaten a man with a taxidermied moose head.” Earl had known VanZant for a long time and finally cracked a smile. “All right, you got me there.” The two very experienced Hunters shook hands. “Where’s your boy? The one that, from what I heard, started this mess.” Green came around from behind his team lead, bruised, haggard, nauseous, and seeming rather deflated. “You, I ain’t done with…And you’d damn well better not throw up in the rental van.”
Eventually, everyone that hadn’t been taken to the hospital was present. Holly had also managed to avoid being arrested, which wasn’t particularly shocking. “I think I chipped a tooth,” Lee complained as he felt around inside his mouth with his tongue. “Heh. Worth it, though.”
“That was awesome when you put that guy into the chocolate fountain,” Trip told him. “Bet that burned.”
“Not as awesome as when you body-slammed that one dude.” Lee and Trip fist bumped.
Harbinger scowled and both of them shut up. “Not that I don’t like the idea of kicking all our competitor’s asses as a business model, but I don’t like the reality of it costing me so damn much. Y’all better start praying the zombie apocalypse starts soon, because you’re going to need that much PUFF money. The bill for this fiasco is coming out of your pay.” There was a collective groan at that. “Collect your crap and let’s get back to the hotel.”
I waited until everyone else was heading for the sign-out desk. There was a big box of evidence weapons to be sorted through, and Green, having had the sense to leave his gun in his room after he’d raided the minibar, had been the only one of us unarmed. I motioned for my boss’s attention. “Hang on a second, Earl. We need to talk.”
“This better be good news, because so far I ain’t happy about the less-than-illustrious start of this conference.”
“We’ve got a problem with one of the Newbies.” I didn’t know all the details of what had happened in Michigan, and Earl had never wanted to elaborate much, but I knew that Jason Lacoco had been involved in that incident. Somehow he had gained Earl’s respect, and that was a tough thing to do.
“Near as we can figure, the elf is still hiding somewhere in the casino. Tanya will come out when she thinks the coast is clear. Trailer park elves are sneaky like that.”