Burden of the Soul

15.

I twisted around the banister on the first floor and went into the kitchen where the entire group was congregated around the kitchen table, speaking softly. My socked feet padding on the floor made them all look up. The circle their bodies formed widened as they took steps back, opening up to me. They were all looking.

“What?” I looked down at the outfit I had picked out. The jeans were clean, and the T-shirt wasn’t too wrinkled. I wondered if visiting the “Masters” was a black tie affair. “Do I need to change?”

“No, sweetheart. You’re fine,” said Rose, leaving the outskirts of the circle to come and put her arm around my shoulders. “Do you feel better now? I told Brik to give you more time, but he insisted on his schedule.”

She was looking at me intently and her eyes seemed severe, as if she was asking me questions in her mind I couldn’t hear. “Don’t worry… you’ll be able to go back.”

My eyes widened a bit at what it seemed she was alluding to. Did she somehow know where I had been? Her eyes stayed locked on mine, and her head nodded up and down ever so slightly, a motion that the others didn’t register.

“Yeah, once we get back you can sit or stand in your closet for as long as you like,” said Brik, leaving the table to rummage through the refrigerator again. I looked up at Rose and she met my gaze. She leaned her face in closer to mine and gave me a wink, then turned and walked away.

Whatever she understood or knew, she hadn’t leaked it to Brik or the others. I felt sudden relief wash over my tension.

The front door opened and I turned to see Dave walking in with his bag hanging across his chest. He smiled when he saw me, and I smiled back without hesitation. There wasn’t a question of Dave being real or a dream. There wasn’t a seed of doubt in my mind about him. He was Dave. My Dave.

“Well the good news, or bad news considering how you look at it, is word about your birthday party this weekend has gotten out and I’m pretty sure the entire school intends to show up at some point,” he said walking up to me, his hands holding the bag’s strap at his chest.

“The bad news, or good news depending on who you are…” he said, shooting a glance at Brik, who was making himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at the counter. “…is that it’s been moved from my house to your house.”

“What?” The shock I felt made the word come out as a shout. “Why would you let them do that?”

“He told me to,” he said, pointing up at Brik, who was gnawing away at his sandwich, though it didn’t stop him from shooting me a devilish grin.

I narrowed my eyes to glare at him, showing my displeasure, then turned back to Dave who was rattling off more news of the day. “Also, Alli is going to be calling you in the next few minutes, more than likely. I think she’s curious how I was able to deliver the news that your Dad is… um, out of town.”

His voice lowered as he said it, and his eyes turned down in shame. “He told me to say that too. I’m sorry,” he said in a whisper only meant for me, but Brik had walked up behind him and threw his arm around Dave’s shoulder, leading him to the living room.

“Don’t worry, she’ll get over it,” he said, not even giving me the opportunity to figure out how I felt about the lie.

“We need to keep up the appearance for everyone on the outside that things are normal,” Brik said looking straight at me, and I knew he had no intention of elaborating. “You alright missing your last few classes of the day, kid?”

Dave’s eyes met mine, shining over a smirk. “Yeah, it’s no great loss,” he said.

“Now get comfy, because you’re going to be hanging out with Oliver for a bit while we take care of some business. Your parents are meeting us and will be back this evening, at which point you’re welcome to head home,” said Brik, pushing Dave down to the couch next to Oliver as he said it. “Or you can stay here again tonight, I’m sure they won’t mind.” Brik shot a knowing look my way.

It was clear which romantic interest Brik was rooting for.

Rose was in the kitchen making another sandwich from all the items Brik had left sprawled across the counter, and then brought it over to me, placing it in my hand with a piece of paper towel.

“You’ll more than likely get hungry before you make it back, but there’s no sense having a full meal now. I’m going to be making something special for dinner. A belated birthday dinner.”

Right then the phone rang. Dave shot an apologetic look at me. It was going to be Alli on the other end of the line. Demetrius reached to answer it, and I shot forward.

“It’s probably best if I get it,” I said, looking between him and Brik. I picked the receiver off the wall base and checked the caller ID. Sure enough, it was Alli calling from her home phone.

“Hello?”

“Where were you today? And why haven’t you been answering your cell? I’ve been texting you all day. You have to tell me what happened last night with Dave. Did he call you? You’re never going to believe how pissed Trisch is about it.”

She was speaking at high speed, never pausing to take a breath. I tried to break in a few times, but it just made her speak faster. I turned my head to Dave in the living room, and with a shrug of his shoulders he mouthed the word “Sorry.” I had to suppress a laugh.

“Oh god, Clara. It was amazing. Dave came up to me in the hall and told me that the plans had changed for your party, that your dad went out of town for some last minute business trip or something, which totally surprised me that he even knew that, but then Cole walked up and was talking to both Dave and I, and when Dave walked away Cole walked me to English, chatting the whole way about some band he saw in Brooklyn last night. I can’t believe his parents let him go out so late on a school night. He totally said I should go check them out with him sometime.”

I was desperately trying to break into the one-way conversation and finally succeeded as she ran out of both steam and air at the same moment.

“Alli, that’s great. I can’t really talk right now though.”

“Please, like you have anything going on. You have to tell me what happened with Dave. I promise I won’t tell Trisch, although she’s already bugging me to find out.”

“Alli, really. I … um, can’t talk about that right now.” I was cupping my hand over my mouth trying to dull my voice low enough that the eavesdropping audience wouldn’t be able to make out what I was saying.

“Oh my god, he’s there isn’t he? Trisch is thinking she’s gonna walk home with him after school, but I figured he already taken off. He’s skipping, right? He went right to your house didn’t he? I knew he lived a couple doors down, but … oh my god, Clara. Is he really there?”

It seemed like it was going to be the only way to get her off the phone. “Yes. So we’ll talk later, okay?”

“You better call me the second he goes home. And don’t leave anything out. I want to know everything.”

“Okay, um… thanks for calling.”

“Don’t you dare forget to call me back.”

“Okay, I will… er, won’t. Bye.” I heard her faint voice still talking as I clicked the phone off. I put the phone back on its base and turned to everyone. Oliver was snickering into his hand on the couch and Dave had turned every shade of pink.

Brik straightened his own grin and shot glances at Liv, Demetrius and me.

“We’re going,” he said.

“You guys are going somewhere?” Dave stood up to follow. “I’ll come.”

“Not this time, kid. Oliver will keep you company.” And with that Brik took off down the hall.

I shot a smile at Dave and then followed Brik to the front door with Demetrius and Liv following close behind. I threw my hoodie on and tore off chunks from the sandwich to nibble as we walked down the sidewalk toward Central Park West. It hadn’t been that long since the group of us had walked in formation down the same sidewalk. Having the sun out made for a better mood in general, though.

We crossed into the park while tourists and couples out for a walk passed us on either side. It was a sunny day on the cusp of fall and people were out in droves to enjoy what they had left of the sun that season. Young mothers were trying to maneuver baby strollers through the stone paths of the brambles with little regard for the people who circled around to pass them.

At one point, I could hear Demetrius stop behind me and offer one such mother help. I turned and saw him pick up the entire stroller with a stunned toddler inside. Demetrius showed no sign of strain, and then gingerly set it back down on the smooth, cement path below. Both Liv and I had stopped to watch, smiling at the considerate gesture.

“Thank you so much. You’re my guardian angel,” the mom said, before pushing the stroller back down the hill. Demetrius and Liv laughed.

“No seriously, guys. Take your time.” We all looked up the path at the sound of Brik’s tone. “It’s not like we have anywhere important to be.”

Brik glared, his hands on his hips, and then turned back to the path up ahead and kept going. I turned over my shoulder to see Demetrius winking at Liv as they shared a private laugh at Brik’s expense.

We continued following him up the winding path and came to a small clearing where strollers were abandoned off to the side in rows and a few scattered families posed for photos. We were at the top of the hill now. Looking north, you could make out the clearing where the Reservoir sat sunken in the trees.

I remembered this place vaguely from a school field trip when I was really little. Mom had come with my class as a chaperone and had laughed under her breath a few times at the tour guide’s explanation of the elaborate weather station at the tip of Belvedere Castle.

We walked up the stone staircase to the castle’s opening. It seemed so much smaller. I remembered on the day of the field trip it had felt massive and towering. Now, it seemed like a dollhouse miniature—a model castle created for children’s fantasies.

There were people pouring in and out of the front door and a tour group lingering in the lobby where a guide was introducing them to the castle, explaining it as a marker for one of the highest peaks in Central Park. Brik sliced through the center of the group with a few strides, people parting like a wake on either side of him. Liv, Demetrius and I followed with whispered apologies.

At the sight of Brik, the middle-aged security guard behind the information desk came to life, jumping up out of his seat with a stunned look.

“You’re back, Mr. Brik,” he said “Did you forget something?

“You’ll need to clear the place.” Brik said, tossing his head in the direction of the winding, stone staircase that led to the castle’s second level.

“Right away, sir.” The guard came out from behind the desk and apologized to the tour group that was waiting their turn to climb to the castle’s look out. He explained that emergency maintenance needed to be done on the castle and that all tours were cancelled, effective immediately.

There were groans of complaint. One man demanded to see a manager as they were all shuffled out the tiny front door back onto the stone platform overlooking the park.

“It’ll just be a few minutes, sir,” said the guard, eyeing Demetrius up and down and then heading up the circling stairway, so thin only one person could pass through at a time, making it impossible for anyone trying to come down to exit.

“Know people in high places?” I took a step toward Brik as I said it. He was casually leaning against the edge of the information desk, looking like he owned the place.

“I guess you could say that,” he said, looking at me on a slant over the top if his rimmed glasses.

Both of our heads turned toward the stairwell as the first dribbles of disappointed tourists came around the darkened stairwell on their way out of the castle. One kid was crying that he hadn’t gotten his turn in the turret like his mother had promised, and a teenage girl looked at me and with a vicious tone said, “How come that girl gets to stay?”

Brik was watching them as they filed down the staircase, his eyes bouncing around from face to face. His looked at Demetrius and nodded once. Without a word passed between them, Demetrius seemed to understand and swung his arm around the small of Liv’s back and guided her out the door into the wave of bodies. After the two disappeared, I turned back to Brik.

“What’s your last name, anyways?” My hands were crossed over my chest, and I could feel my crinkled brow bending the tone of my voice to a slightly hostile one. “’Mr. Brik’?”

He turned to me with a smirk, a tendril of hair flipping off his glasses and tucking itself just behind the lens. “I don’t have a last name,” he said.

“Why?”

“Why do you have one?”

“Cause I just do.”

“Well, I just don’t.”

He seemed snidely proud of his answer, which bugged me. I didn’t like the idea of having more one-on-one time with Brik. I remembered Rose’s comment from that morning, that he loved Aunt Grace more than he would likely admit, and for a second I tried to picture what it would have been like if Grace had brought him over as her boyfriend rather than some mysterious, smug Guardian guy.

“You’re kind of a jerk, you know that right?”

A shadow cast across his cheek as his jaw clenched, though the rest of his face remained motionless, giving no sign of reaction.

“Mr. Brik. King of the Jerks. Always so serious. Mr. Boss Man.” I said it all in a bouncing tone.

His eyes rolled to glare at me, but from the angle I was at I could see their reflection in the back of his lenses, four green pupils firing daggers at me.

“Don’t worry, I’m not so keen on spending the afternoon with you either,” I said.

“There’s no point in killing the messenger, Clara.” There was a hint of apology in his voice. Brik had become my scratching post. With all I had lost in such a short period of time—not only my family, but also my life—I had turned to him to place the blame. Sure, he had been kind of a jerk in his delivery, but I got his point. It wasn’t his fault this all was happening. It went far beyond him.

I knew I should’ve apologized right then, but I cleared my throat instead and tried to shake off the bad feeling I had for stooping to a level of verbal violence common in girls my age, a characteristic I had prided myself in never displaying. That is, until right then.

The last few stragglers made their way out of the castle’s lobby, ushered at the hands of the male security guard. The place was now empty other than the three of us. He walked over to Brik and motioned toward the staircase.

“Actually, Harold … why don’t you take your lunch break,” said Brik.

“Oh that’s fine, sir. I already took my lunch a short while ago.”

“Well, why don’t you take another one?” Brik stuffed a folded, green bill in Harold’s hand and turned him to the front door. The man didn’t argue, but looked over his shoulder once at me before giving in to Brik’s convincing argument, which was folded in his palm.

I looked around the empty stone room. It reminded me of another stone room I was anxious to get back to, and I was suddenly lost in thought, the image of Devin inches from my face playing over and over in my mind.

“Where did you go just then?”

His question stunned me, and I stood up straight, trying to recover gracefully.

“What do you mean?”

“You had a look. Like you went somewhere else in your mind. You had the same look in the kitchen a bit ago when Rose was talking to you.”

I looked away from him, avoiding his eye contact. It seemed Rose wasn’t the only one out of the group with the gift of insight.

“Is there something you’re not telling me?” He took a few slow steps to me, his hands on his hips.

“Oh come on, like you really want to know the inner workings of the teenage female mind.” I laughed as I said it, trying to lighten the mood and make my thoughts seem trivial, but his brow scrunched at my efforts. He wasn’t falling for it.

“I have absolutely no interest in the normal teenage female mind, but I have quite a bit riding on yours, so if there is something I should know about…”

“I was thinking about Dave, okay?” It was the first thing I could think of, although I wasn’t sure why I resorted to lying at all, why I felt the need to protect Devin from him.

“Are you happy now?” I tightened my arms across my chest in show of my agitation.

He nodded a few times, his grin growing into a full-on smirk. “Yes, I am.”

“Knock, knock!” There was a cheerful woman with teased brown hair standing in the doorway. A lean, dark-haired man, seemingly in his mid-forties stood behind her with a shining smile.

The pair stepped out of the sunlight and into the room, greeting Brik with hugs.

“Thanks for coming on such short notice,” he said to them, his arms reached out to their respective sides. “I hate making you jump assignments with no warning like this, but it was necessary.”

“Don’t worry about it, Brik,” said the gentleman, resting his hand on Brik’s shoulder.

The woman looked to me, then back to Brik.

“How’s Dave doing?” There was a soft concern in her voice, and I started to see the resemblance in her face to Dave’s. The creases that pulled at her smile instead of dimples.

“He’s fine. He’s with Oliver and Rose right now waiting for you guys,” said Brik. He then turned to me. “Clara, this is Rita and Albert Shaw, Dave’s parents. They’ll be helping us with this.”

“They have a last name.” I mumbled it just loud enough for Brik to hear, but neither Rita nor Albert made sense of the comment.

Annoyance filled Brik’s face, and his arms crossed over his chest again, his legs spread in a combative stance.

“Don’t mind her, you guys. Clara seems to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed today… next to your son.”

My stomach dropped.

He turned to them when he said the last bit, and their mouths opened slightly, as parents made instantly uncomfortable would react. They each looked at the other and Brik looked to me, shooting a vindictive smile.

“Oh, well… it’s nice to hear you two are getting along,” said Rita, but the comment made both Brik and I turn to her. “Oh, not you two… I meant Clara and Dave. You two are obviously not…”

“Rita, honey… best not to step on the landmine once it’s been spotted.” Albert’s hands pressed at her arms from behind with a squeeze that cut her off before she could get the full thought out. “We shouldn’t keep them waiting,” he said, nudging Rita forward.

Brik nodded and headed to the left of the stairway, where a thin chain hung, blocking the path down. He unclipped it and let it drop, clanging against the wall.

In a few steps the darkness swallowed him from sight. Rita followed right after him, and then Albert raised an arm up while smiling at me.

“After you, Clara.”

I took a few hesitant steps, but then followed them down the winding, narrow stairwell. I let my hand slide against the wall to steady myself, feeling for the edge of each step with the tip of my foot. I heard a click and then a small glow popped out toward the bottom of the steps, and I was able to pick up my speed a bit, spilling out into the basement. A single light bulb hung in the center of the room, swaying back and forth.

It was a tight fit. The room was small and smelled musty. It was completely bare except for a wooden bench against the far wall. Rita stood off to the side and Brik took a seat on the bench. He then patted the bench to his side, motioning for me to take a seat. Albert had walked out from behind me and stood at the opposite wall from Rita. I looked around at all of them, confused about what was going on.

“I thought you said we were going to the Other Side,” I said to Brik.

“We are… once you sit down.”

I looked at both Rita and Albert, getting confirmation from their expressions that this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.

“Don’t worry, hon,” Rita said to me. “It may feel a little odd, but you’ll be perfectly safe.”

“We’ll both be here waiting for you when you get back,” Albert said, motioning with his arm to the open space on the bench next to Brik.

I crossed the room and took a seat on the bench, nothing happened though. It felt like sitting on a bench. There wasn’t anything odd about that. I turned to my right and saw Brik’s head extended upward, leaning against the wall behind him. His eyes were closed. His eyelids flickered as if he was dreaming, his arms hanging lifeless at his sides and his legs were spread out comfortably in front of him.

I looked to Rita and she nodded with a grin. “It’s okay, Clara. Just lean back and close your eyes.”

I did as she said.