But Tessa was too busy complaining like only an eight-year-old girl knew how for me to pay her mother any attention.
“I’ve never seen a baby goat before. And Mom’s baby is going to look just like Shelby,” she argued. “And I’ve seen her, like, every day for four years.” She walked over and hugged my hips. “Please, Daddy.”
I’d been “Dad” to Tessa for several years, but the “Daddy” was relatively new. It was my kryptonite, and she knew it.
When Shelby had been around two, Tessa had started randomly calling me Dad. She’d slip it in occasionally, always peeking up at me or her mom to see if we were going to correct her. I had to struggle to breathe every time I heard her say it. One night, after a long talk with Clare, I’d sat Tessa down before bedtime and asked her if she wanted to start calling me dad all the time.
Her emerald eyes had filled with tears as she’d peered up at me and asked, “Does it mean you’ll really be my dad?”
I’d nearly passed out from the lack of oxygen in that neon-pink room. I nodded at least seven thousand times but couldn’t choke out a single word.
The very next day, I’d hired an attorney and legally filed for adoption.
Tessa Noir would forever be Tessa Light.
Well, until she turned forty and got married. Or I convinced her to become a nun and marry Jesus. Whichever came first.
“Give it up, kid,” Roman said, fluffing Tessa’s hair as he went straight to Shelby and scooped her into his arms. “You ready to be a big sister?” he asked, tossing her in the air.
She squealed with delight.
Roman and Elisabeth were fixtures in our life. We all went to Tessa’s horse shows each weekend and spent nearly every holiday together. Our kids played—and fought—like siblings, Tessa acting as the bossy big sister to them all.
While Roman and I were tight, Clare and Elisabeth were inseparable. If they weren’t together, they were texting or talking on the phone. She’d been the only one Clare trusted to keep the kids when it was finally time for her scheduled, repeat C-section.
“So, are we finally ready in here?” a nurse said as she came through the door.
A unanimous, “Yes!” came from the entire room, except for Tessa, who cried into my stomach, “But it’s a baby goat!”
“All right! I’ll call down and let the OR know,” the nurse said, backing out of the packed room.
“Okay. We’ll be in the waiting room.” Elisabeth leaned over the bed to give Clare a hug. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thank you for doing this. I know Alissa is still so little. But I really wanted the girls to be here as soon as she’s born,” Clare said, releasing her.
“He,” I corrected. “When he’s born.”
Roman shot me a who-are-you-kidding glare.
We’d decided not to find out the gender at the ultrasound, but I was holding on to hope for a boy.
“Don’t you dare apologize,” Elisabeth said. “Cathy has been praying you’d go into labor early so she could get her hands on that baby. I’m surprised she hasn’t been delivering you dinners laced with castor oil.”
Clare laughed.
Shelby froze, her big, blue eyes flashing wide. “Is Grandma Cathy coming?”
“Nah. She’s at home with Parker and Baby Lis. She’ll come see you tomorrow though, I’m sure,” Roman said, setting her back on her feet.
“Girls, go give your mom a kiss,” I ordered.
Tessa might have still been upset about missing the coveted goat birth, but she did love her mama and quickly went to her side for a long hug and a kiss. Shelby fell into line behind her.
“Come on, girls,” Elisabeth said, taking both of their hands. “Let’s go raid the vending machines.”
I kissed both the girls on the top of their heads before they left.
Roman squeezed my shoulder. “Good luck. We’ll be in the waiting room. Keep us updated.”
“Thanks, man.”
Once we were finally alone, I made my way over to Clare’s bed. She scooted over so I could sit beside her.
“You okay?” I asked.
She smiled and began picking invisible lint off the blanket. “Nervous, I guess. But I’m okay.”
“I love you. You know that, right?”
Her eyes lit. “I definitely know that.”
“Any chance you gonna return that love by giving me a boy?”
She reached for my hand and rested it on her stomach. “I’ll do my best.”
We both fell silent, but Clare continued to fidget.
After several minutes, I whispered, “Lean on me, babe. You don’t have to be brave right now.”
Her gaze shot to mine, and her chin started to quiver. “I’m scared.”
But, even at her weakest, Clare had always been brave. I wasn’t completely sure she knew how to be anything else.
I shifted toward her and tucked her hair behind her ear. “We’ll wait until you’re ready.”
She smiled weakly and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Maybe just a minute?”
“Whatever you need, Clare.”
A minute turned into twenty.
However, with Clare in my arms, I would have waited a lifetime.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to.