“Ready for this?” Kacey asked as she gripped Travis’s hand in hers.
“Yup.” He kissed the top of her head then led her outside to the waiting car. Jake was arguing with Grandma and Char was covering her face with her hands, laughing.
“Uh oh.” Kacey approached the car. “Do I even want to know?”
“Grandma thinks herself an artist,” Jake said through clenched teeth. “I tried to stop her but—”
“Ah.” Kacey looked at the windshield. Grandma had drawn two very large breasts and written “Titus forever”, only both the u and s were so small you could hardly see them. “Lovely.”
“Such a special, special day,” Travis mumbled behind her.
“Go on, you two!” Grandma sighed. “Now.” She pulled them both aside. “I imagine you know how these things… work.”
“Things?” Kacey repeated. “What things?”
“Oh dear.” Grandma held her hand to her cheek. “Things, as in…” She shrugged. “When making babies…”
“Oh, dear God.” Travis closed his eyes and looked heavenward.
“It’s important to keep one’s legs elevated. Well, that’s how Wescott was brought into this world!” She sighed. “Among other things, you keep the legs high like this.” Grandma then proceeded to open the car door, sit down and lift her legs into a pike position. “But naturally you’re laying down. Do you understand?”
“People are starting to stare, Grandma,” Jake said.
“And then.” She put her legs down. “After a half hour, you turn over, much like you would turn over a roast in the oven.”
“Do people turn over roasts in the oven?” Char wondered aloud. “Never baked like that before.”
“Then you, my dear, need to take a few pointers from me,” Grandma snapped.
“No thanks.” Char stepped back.
Grandma set her eyes on Travis and Kacey. “Those little soldiers better be strong! But they have Titus blood in them so they should do an adequate job.”
“Adequate?” Travis nodded. “Kinda thought they’d be more than adequate.”
“They will.” Kacey patted his back.
“Oysters.” Grandma nodded. “Eat more oysters, gets the blood flowing to all the right areas; those soldiers will be ready for an all-out war!”
“Ah, war,” Jake said. “Pipe dream, but yet, here we stand.”
Grandma scowled at him then looked back to Kacey. “Dear, do you have any… questions, for your grandmother?”
Travis raised his hand as did Jake.
Ignoring them, Grandma patted Kacey’s hand. “I know it can be scary, but what you do, you do for your Grandma. Just go into that bedroom and think, I’m doing this for Grandma.”
“Don’t.” Travis shook his head. “Please don’t give us that mental image, I beg you…”
“I need great-grandchildren.” Grandma shrugged. “Now, don’t fail me!” With a sigh she reached into her purse. “These should also help.”
“What’s that?” Travis pointed as Grandma put a large necklace around Kacey’s neck.
“Fertility beads.” Grandma shrugged as if everyone should know what they were.
“Awesome.” This from Jake as he laughed.
“You’re next,” Travis murmured, then put his arm around Kacey. “I think we’d better go uh…”
“Play battleship with your soldiers?”
He grinned. “I’ll sink your ship anytime.”
“Hmm, I may just let you.”
Grandma elbowed Jake in the ribs. “What did I tell you? Those beads work wonders. Look at those two.”
Kacey ignored Grandma and got into the car. “Thanks for the, uh, advice.”
“Anytime!” Grandma waved. “And if you have… problems, you just give your Grandma a call, okay?”
“When hell freezes over.” Travis started the car.
“What was that?” Grandma cupped her ear.
“Love you!” He shouted, then peeled out of the parking lot.
Kacey reached across the console and gripped his hand. “Ready to play?”
“Damn.” He laughed. “I’ve been waiting my whole life.”
*
“Kace, if you don’t come through that door in five seconds I’m breaking it down,” Travis shouted from the bedroom. They were spending their wedding night in the new wing of the house, rather than at the suite that Jake and Char were staying in.
“One more minute.” She laughed and stripped down to nothing. He thought she had some fancy lingerie, but nope, she had just herself.
“Kace, I’m serious!” Travis yelled. “You’re killing me.”
“Well.” Kacey unlocked the bathroom door. “I wouldn’t want my new husband to die, now would I?”
Slowly, she opened the door and leaned against the frame. Travis turned around and looked his fill. Mouth open, his eyes caressed her as he went from her toes slowly all the way up her body, until his eyes met hers. “Damn.”
“Really?” She smiled.
“Dear God.” He stalked toward her and lifted her into his arms, crushing her mouth against his. “I’m obsessed with your body.”