Nick opened it up and switched on the cheap, pay-as-you-go flip phone. ‘It’s almost out of battery. We should let the police have it.’
‘Give it to me,’ she said, swiping if from him. She toggled back through the list of calls made and received, scanning the numbers. ‘Look, he called Greene & Galloway several times, see?’ Her voice was urgent as she thought back over the dates and times, working it out. ‘I think he was the supposed cash buyer, Nick. He would have done anything to stop Mum selling up. He couldn’t ever leave because Lenni was locked up here. He had his lucid moments too, don’t forget.’
Nick shook his head, raising his eyebrows. ‘You’re probably right.’ He leant in close, peering at the phone screen. ‘But stop now, Claire. Don’t torture yourself any more.’
‘There were other numbers dialled too,’ she said, ignoring him. ‘Look, these were to my mobile. As well the Old Stables landline. He must have been the one who left that twisted message, probably when he wasn’t thinking straight.’ She explained about the disturbing voicemail the night Jason and Greta arrived. The timing of the calls fitted. ‘It’s no coincidence all the silent calls I was getting have stopped now. He probably wasn’t thinking straight and misdialling me.’ She paced around the study, trampling on her father’s belongings.
‘Don’t overthink this, Claire,’ he said, reaching out to stop her. She was shaking. ‘Trust me, I speak from experience. Sometimes the only closure is accepting there will be none.’ He drew her close, placing a finger over her lips. She only stilled when he pulled her into his arms, holding her tight, stroking her hair. ‘I’m going to delay the restaurant opening for a while.’ He felt her tense again as she looked up at him. ‘I’m not leaving you alone with all this to deal with.’
‘No, Nick,’ Claire said quietly. ‘I won’t let you do that. The restaurant is everything you’ve always wanted.’
‘Not quite,’ he said, staring into her eyes. ‘Anyway, my mind is made up. I’m here for as long as you need. Maybe I’ll even move back to Cornwall permanently.’ He wanted to get it all out, tell her how he felt about her. But now wasn’t the time.
She rested her head against his chest. He was right. Searching for answers that didn’t exist was only hurting her more.
‘I could easily sell the restaurant, even as it is. It’s been stressing me out more than I’d like. I had this crazy idea…’ He laughed at his stupidity, wondering how he thought he’d ever have got away with it.
‘Go on,’ she said.
‘When Jess and I split up, I couldn’t afford my own place. I’ve been couch-surfing with mates for months, so I was getting the restaurant basement converted into a living space. It’s not entirely legal, I know, and I’d have got shut down if it was discovered, but it seemed like my only option.’
‘So much has happened, Nick,’ she whispered, looking up at him again, thinking about what he’d been through. ‘Too much. But what happened to us?’ Their faces were close, each aware of the other’s breathing, the feel of their bodies pressed close, the warmth shared. They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, each knowing this wasn’t the right time for the kiss that would have been perfect if circumstances had been different. Perhaps if they’d been standing in the sea.
Chapter Seventy-Eight
The day they brought Eleanor home was bright and clear, with a sky so indigo it almost looked as if stars should be visible. Having been back home in London for several weeks, Jason had come back to Cornwall alone for a couple of days. Greta’s mother had flown over to help out with the babies.
As they stood outside the farmhouse waiting, an onshore breeze heralding Lenni’s arrival, Claire turned her face to the sun. She was filled with anticipation. They’d seen Lenni over the last couple of weeks, of course – the short visits gradually getting longer, stretching from ten minutes to several hours. They’d taken her gifts, were patient with her when she wanted to be alone with the curtains drawn and the lights off, yet listened to her when she was ready to speak. So far, she’d said little about what had happened to her. The psychologist said it was normal, that it might come out in time. For now, it was all about reconnecting, rekindling relationships, building trust.
Occupational therapists and mental health workers had come to the farm too, preparing the family for her return. Everyone had been astounded by her progress, how her inner life force was keeping her going – a wilting seedling finally being given light and water.
Claire took her mother’s trembling hand when they saw the car crowning the rise of the drive. Shona was still on medication, still struggling with everything, but was making progress each day.
‘You OK?’ Nick whispered, leaning close to Claire, taking her other hand. He meshed his fingers between hers as the vehicle came closer. Jason was close by, and Aunt Jenny had come down to offer her support to Shona.
‘I think so,’ Claire whispered back, not taking her eyes off the car.
‘Is she here yet?’ Rain came tumbling out of the house, squeezing in next to Jason. She’d decided to stay on in Cornwall a bit longer while Maggie got them settled into Rose’s place. Hanging out with Marcus and his mates was doing her good, and she reckoned she might be back next holidays.
‘This is it, then,’ Jason said, as the car pulled across the gravel into the courtyard. The windows flared with sunlight, obscuring the faces inside.
The front door of the car opened and Sarah, the psychologist who’d been visiting, got out. She removed her sunglasses and forked them onto her head, smiling at the small gathering. Low key was best, she’d told them, so as not to overwhelm Eleanor. A nurse got out of the back of the car and came round, opening the other rear door. For those few moments, it was as if the whole world was holding its breath.
And then Eleanor emerged – a hand on the top of the door, her feet reaching tentatively for the ground. Her eyes were blinking, squinting, darting about.
‘Lenni,’ Jason said under his breath. Claire squeezed Nick’s hand, leading him a step forward as Eleanor stood upright. Outside of the hospital, she seemed so small. The nurse tried to help her, but she shied away. Typical Lenni, Claire thought, desperate to run up to her, to hold her, to never let her go.
‘Hello, Lenni,’ Claire said across the courtyard.
‘Hello,’ came a faint whisper back, but it could have been a breath of wind in the trees. She looked at the distance between her and her sister – the little girl she’d allowed to get lost. About twenty feet separated them, each one representing a year of missing time.
‘Darling,’ Shona said from behind, so weakly she didn’t think Eleanor even heard.
Claire took another step forward, Nick beside her. She was aware of the others flanking her, how much it felt like Grandmother’s Footsteps, the game they all used to play as kids.
Nineteen years.
‘Welcome home, Lenni,’ Jason said, his voice wavering at words he never thought he’d get to say.
Lenni’s mouth motioned upwards, making a small smile.
In turn, she took a step or two closer to them. Seventeen years.
She was wearing grey linen trousers and a white blouse with flat black pumps on feet that shuffled her closer still. A pale-green cardigan was draped over her shoulders – all her clothes chosen by Claire. Her hair was different too, the brittle strands now untangled and trimmed. It sat a couple of inches above her shoulders in a wispy cut, making her look a little more normal, a little more real.
Claire ventured forward a bit more. Fourteen years. It was only as she got closer that Eleanor’s flaking fingernails, her bad teeth, her sallow complexion became apparent. Her unusual gait was only noticeable when she walked.
‘It’s so good to have you home,’ Claire said, inching forward to twelve years.