Wallis stopped for a moment on the stairs to pull herself back into the present. “Have to focus,” she mumbled, “Busy day.” She gave her watch a glance and took the last two steps to his room in a run and called out.
“Ned?” she yelled, as she turned the corner into his room. He was sitting in front of his computer, dressed in his favorite khaki Cargo pants and ‘check your fly’ t-shirt with a fishing lure under the suggestive heading. So far, no one at school had objected.
“You could have at least answered me. What are you doing?” asked Wallis.
“Chasing worms,” Ned said calmly, his eyes focused on the screen as he made sudden rapid movements with the mouse followed by a click, click and fevered typing. “And if I had answered you, you would have yelled at me to come downstairs awhile ago.”
“We have worms?” asked Wallis. Her stomach quickly tightened at the thought of a complicated computer issue that she wouldn’t understand.
“Yeah, I put one in there.”
“Why?” Wallis stretched the word out to let Ned know she was annoyed.
“So I could hunt it down and kill it.” Ned was saying everything slowly, only annoying Wallis more. Wallis took in a deep breath and slowly let it out.
“Mom, why do you worry so much? Do I look worried?” he said, still looking at the glowing screen.
“I have no idea. What does worried look like on you?”
“Very funny.”
“You’ve done this before?”
“Only a hundred times. It’s getting boring. I’m waiting for something better to hit my honey pot.”
“Honey pot?” asked Wallis, moving directly behind her son.
“Unprotected computer,” said Ned, pointing backward without turning his head at an old lap top he had put together from spare parts that had been headed for a landfill. “No firewalls. Eventually some worm or virus hits it and then I can play.”
“You know, Ned, I expected you to surpass me, I just didn’t think it would be before you were ten.”
“It’s okay, Mom, I’m on your side.”
“And a grateful household thanks you, although I probably wouldn’t know the difference for quite some time.”
“Or ever.”
“Yeah, that’s one way to make me feel better, Ned. Socks and shoes?”
“Five more minutes. I can’t stop before I purge the wailer.”
“I have no way of knowing if you’re telling me the truth or not.”
“So, you’ll have to trust me.”
“It’s like you’re already a teenager and have driven off with the car.”
“I could explain what I’m doing in more detail.”
“Good maneuver, son. Kill me off with details. No, no, I’ll take the high road and trust you because we have the five minutes to spare, but only five minutes.”
“So, you’re not really trusting me, then.”
“It’s against the mother rules. I’m only conceding ignorance and hoping you never hack into any secret government web sites.”
Ned smiled and let out a small sinister laugh, looking up at his mother’s reaction.
“At least when the suits show up at the door, I won’t be completely caught off-guard,” said Wallis. “Try to give me some warning so my underwear is clean.”
“Gross, Mom. Okay, done!” said Ned, lifting his hands high off of the keyboard and standing up to face his mother. “Take off your heels. Stand up straight. Look, I’m already a little taller than you are,” he said letting his hand float from the top of his head over to Wallis’s. “I’m going to start calling you Yoda, small wise one.”
“Thanks, that’s very nice, Ned. Already humoring me.”
It was true, though. Ned at nine years old was already surpassing Wallis at five feet four inches and seemed to be headed for Norman’s nice average height of five foot nine.
“I’m hoping for six feet,” said Ned.
“Then you need to hope for some mutant genes.”
“Grandma said she had a very tall uncle.”
“My mother? Did you ask her what tall meant to her? She’s shorter than I am and she likes to make you happy even if she has to ignore what you were really asking and make up a new question in her head. Watch her eyes when she’s answering, Ned. If she’s looking over your shoulder and won’t make eye contact she’s selling you a happy-land bill of goods. I had a childhood of them,” she said, stepping back into her shoes.
“Bitter, Queen Wallis?”