Her skepticism does not abate.
“You are lonely,” I continue, “and I am lonely. Let me hold you.”
She looks one way, then another. When she does climb up onto my bed, it is not with the resolve of a made-up mind, but more the resignation of someone who is tired of arguing with herself.
She lies down beside me and carefully arranges her dressing robe so that no part of her actual skin touches me. But I still feel her warmth all along my right side. I take her hand in mine, turn my face toward the crook of her neck, and wallow in our glorious closeness.
A quarter hour passes before she breaks the silence. “I was almost entirely certain that by now you’d have found a way to fuck me.”
I smile at her ear. “I’d love to do both, to fuck you half the night and then hold you the other half. But if I cannot have both, then I’d rather just hold you.”
She sighs. I don’t know how to interpret the sound. Is she about to give up on something, or give in?
Her hand, which has been limp and motionless in mine, moves: Her thumb draws small circles on my palm. Then that same thumb slides up to the pulse point at my wrist and presses lightly.
“Your heart is beating fast.”
“My heart always beats fast when you are near.”
“Hmm,” she says.
Her hand moves up to the inside of my elbow. I settle deeper into the mattress, anticipating a slow exploration on her part. But the next moment she is on top of me, her legs flush with mine, her nipples, through the silk of the dressing robe, pressing into my chest.
“You move fast,” I murmur.
Her reply is a bite to my earlobe. I hiss with the sensations that skitter along my nerve endings. She follows with openmouthed kisses all over my neck and my jaw. I turn hard as a mast.
“Aren’t you worried that I am only teasing you?” she whispers in my ear, her breath warm and moist. “That I will whip you into a frenzy and then leave?”
I cup her head and kiss her on her lips. “That’s all right. I got to hold you for a quarter hour. It’s a fair enough exchange.”
She shakes her head in disapproval. “You are such a fool.”
I part her lips. “I’m your fool.”
Our tongues meet. She moans a little as I become invasive. I moan when she returns the favor. My hand reaches down and grabs her sweet bottom. She moans again. The woman will have me think that there is nothing I can do that doesn’t please her.
She breaks the kiss. “Do you want to see me naked?”
“Of course,” I rasp. “Always.”
She sits up with her knees straddling either side of me and pushes aside the front panels of her dressing robe. But she does not take it off completely; instead, she uses its cascade of black silk to frame her breasts, her belly, and her cunt.
“My God,” I whisper hoarsely. “That is almost worse than naked.”
“I am willing to do almost anything to arouse you,” she says, looking just slightly angry. “Do you know why? Because you keep me in such a state of constant arousal. I can’t eat. I can’t read. I can’t think. It is completely unwholesome.”
“It’s all right.” I pull her toward me and kiss her. “You can have me anytime.”
She whimpers. The next moment she is back up on her knees again. And the moment after that, she takes me inside her all the way.
“You see?” she says plaintively. “Constant state of arousal.”
“It’s the same for me.” I speak with difficulty. “I want you all the time.”
She leans forward, bracing her hands on either side of my shoulders. Her hair falls onto me and caresses me everywhere—my erotic fantasy coming true. She lowers her face to my ear. “Put your finger where it should not go. I hope you are happy that you’ve found something that makes me weak.”
“It doesn’t make you weak,” I tell her as my hand finds her rosebud and caresses it. “Quite to the contrary. When your pleasure is so overwhelming, it enslaves me completely.”
My finger enters her. Her entire person trembles.
I kiss her. “See? I would do anything to give you this pleasure, to witness it on your face, and to feel it with my hand and my cock.”
I withdraw my finger from her secret cavity and push it in again. She jerks and cries out. On the next upward thrust of my cock, her pleasure breaks. She thrashes about, her cunt clenching my cock, making me grunt with those same sensations that are coursing through her.
We come together, bound by pleasure.
I LOVE YOU,” I WHISPER to her. “And I have always loved you.”
She makes no response—and that is fine by me. I just want her to hear those words from my lips.
I am almost asleep when I feel her leaving the bed. “Stay,” I tell her. “Stay with me.”
“Maybe another time,” she answers. “Maybe.”
Chapter Six