Slamming the front door closed, I ignored the constant glaring from my dad and Nate and headed straight for the stairs. Taking them two at a time, I wanted to quickly reach the safe confinement of my bedroom. My bubble. It never failed me. Even if at this moment, I disliked some of the people living under the same roof.
I felt as though my mind was spinning on a never-ending Ferris wheel powered by NOS, and all I could think about was how before this night, everything was starting to make sense. Things were slipping into place a little better. But now, my whole life and what I thought I knew had again, been shredded into itty-bitty pieces—actually, the pieces were looking rather irreconcilable at this point. But like in true me life fashion, just when I thought I had gathered up all the pieces, ready to connect them back together, they get smacked out of my hand and scattered over the fricking Pacific Ocean. Someone is taking the piss out of my life.
Hitting the faucet on the shower, my eyes came to my hands. The dark red blood now crusted over my skin. My chest rose and fell heavily, panic slowly starting to ooze in. Without another thought, and through a shaky breath, I got into the shower and stood under the scorching hot water. Clothes and all. Running the palm of my hands over my face and pushing my hair back, I watched as the water that was pooled at my feet began to slowly run red. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, descending down my face. Swiping at my cheeks, irritated, I slowly undressed, throwing my clothes into a pile near the sink. I helped kill someone tonight. I dry retched, my hand flying up to cover my mouth as my throat clogged with vomit. I quickly dashed out of the shower, leaning over the toilet just in time to unload the contents into the bowl.
“Kitty…” Nate walked into the bathroom just as I was wiping the residue off of my mouth. He shut the door behind himself and leaned against the door, putting one leg up to rest against it. We were so far gone past the awkward-naked phase, that I didn’t even bat an eyelash when he entered. He had seen me naked more than any brother should. Step or not.
“Nate, please,” I pleaded, snatching the mouthwash and taking a swig before spitting it out in the sink. I closed the toilet lid and took a seat. “I helped kill someone tonight, my boyfriend is a liar, and owns his very own fucking wardrobe of Narnia, only instead of walking through and seeing lions and shit, I’m walking into a dark smoky past filled with secrets—all of which he is obviously hiding from me—Then there’s my mom, who isn’t really my mom, but I have thought she was my mom all my life—who I thought shot herself, but is actually still alive—and had also slept with my somewhat boyfriend. Did I miss anything? Oh yeah, I’m a freaking Venari, not a Montgomery, so my whole life is a fucking lie.”
Nate came closer until his hand was wrapping around my arm, and then before I could protest, he scooped his other under my upper thigh, lifting me up off the floor. “Get in the shower, Kitty.” I couldn’t control it anymore, sobs broke out and tears spilled down my cheeks. It wasn’t a pretty cry either, it was an ugly cry. The kind people make memes out of.
Nate growled, and then squeezed me into his chest harder before stepping in, under the water with me still wrapped up in his arms.
“Why are you like this?” I asked through hiccups, lifting my head off his shoulder to look into his eyes. Water was pelting down against mine, but I ignored it, I ignored the sting from the water hitting my eyes, because looking into his felt like home. Nate felt more like home to me than this damn house did. I knew right then and there that I would be okay in life. I’d make it. As long as he and I were always on good terms. I could never lose Nate and survive it.
He paused, seeming to ponder over how he should reply. “I’m not like this with… everyone.”
“Just me?” I asked, even though I knew the answer. Everyone sort of knew the answer to that question. Nate was… picky about who he allowed into his life. It was all part of the charm. In saying that, all of the Kings were like that, and I was beginning to think it had something to do with their heritage.
“And…” I knew that he was about to say Tillie, but I offered him a small smile instead, so he didn’t have to say her name out loud. I knew he loved me. He once said he was in love with me, and I’m unsure if he still felt that way, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if it ever came down to it, it would always be Tillie. They had something, shared something, something that I recognized, only because I was the exact same with Bishop. When Tillie disappeared, it pained him. So agonizingly so that he never spoke of it. We shared that common bond, in a way.
“I know,” I broke off in a whisper, patting his big bicep. “and you can let me down now.” He complied, slowly placing me on my feet. I stepped under the water as soon as I was grounded, grabbing the soap and squeezing some into my hand. “Take these off.” I pinched at the elastic band of his basketball shorts, but his hand flew out to stop me. My eyes snapped to his and a chill shuddered over my spine. His eyes darkened, but remained weak and lazy, yet totally on fire, and that’s when I realized we needed to draw the line—again.
“Sorry,” I muttered, turning and rinsing out my hair, my back now facing him.
“You know how much I want you, Madison, but it’s never going to happen. It’s best we don’t tease each other with what-ifs.”
“I know,” I whispered my answer, turning back around and twisting my long hair in one big knot. I reached for his cheek and then gently pressed my lips to his. It was supposed to be the kind of kiss you give your first love before saying goodbye, harmless, tentative, warm, soft, comfortable, familiar, hot, sensual, sexual… oh oh…
I jerked back to search his eyes, my body slightly caught up in the moment.
He groaned painfully, his hand clutching his crotch. “Get out, Kitty, before I fuck you so hard, you’ll be calling me Bishop.” That was effective, it was like an ice bucket getting doused over my head. I stepped out of the shower, wrapping my silk robe around myself and then brushing my teeth. My slightly bloodied clothes caught my attention just as I was reaching for the door handle. “What will happen to the body?”
The shower cut off and then Nate strutted out, in all his naked glory out of the corner of my eye. He followed my line of sight, down to the clothes, and his eyes connected with mine again. “That will get handled, as will those. I’ll bag ‘em, you’ll never have to look at that shit again.” His tone was light as if he was talking about football, or who he had slept with the last weekend.
“You speak like you do it every night.”
“I do it enough,” was all he said. I pulled open my side of the bathroom, heading straight for my bed. Yanking back the sheets and cover, I slipped into the cool, clean sheets. Inhaling through the smell of fresh lemon and lavender, I turned to face my patio door and kept my eyes glued on the stars that speckled through the dark sphere. I had witnessed too many things tonight. Things that I could not explain, and things I’m not entirely sure that I wanted to explain, but I couldn’t hide or run from the fact that it was all there, in front of me. As bright as the glittering stars in the sky.
I helped kill someone tonight, and although my soul may be too far gone to save now, tomorrow was a new day, and I wouldn’t shed another tear about this night again.
“Bishop…” Dad started, just as I watched Madison and Joseph drive off with Nate. I tried to ignore him, like usual, but it never worked, like usual.
“What?” I snapped, pulling out my phone and dialing the cleaning crew.
“Son, I could have done that,” he gestured to my phone, but I raised my eyes up to his, unbothered. “This is what you have been training me for, don’t act surprised when I use my initiative.”