“You started it.”
There was a long pause and his expression turned serious. “I have to know that you’re all in.”
“I am,” I said instantly.
“It’s just me, nothing else, no fame, no record deal. Maybe I’ll be a bartender forever, maybe I’ll rent a room from you for four hundred dollars.”
“Just you and your guitar?”
“Yep.”
“I don’t care, that’s all I want. I love you.”
“What did you say?” He smirked and cupped his hand behind his ear.
“I love you.”
“One more ti—”
“I love you,” I said and then socked him in the chest. “Can we go home now?”
“I’ll walk you home. I have somewhere to be.”
I scrunched my eyebrows. “Where?”
“I can’t tell you. You just have to trust me,” he said as he motioned toward the door.
“I trust you.”
“Good, let’s go.”
When we got to my apartment, he stood on the landing. I motioned for him to come in, but he just shook his head and smiled.
“Come on, Will. Come to bed?” I said, arching my eyebrows.
“You have no idea how bad I want to.”
“Then why won’t you?”
He smiled. “I told you, I have somewhere to be. If I get into bed with you now, I’ll never get out.”
“I’m okay with that.”
He leaned in and kissed me, but pulled away too soon. “I’ll come and get you tomorrow morning.” He pecked my lips again and then kissed my nose. “Dream about me, okay, sweet thing?” he said as he turned and headed down the stairs.
“Always,” I whispered, too low for him to hear.
Lying in my bed that night, I wondered if Will was an apparition. He was just too good to be true: too forgiving, too sweet, too beautiful. I remembered someone saying crazy people don’t know they’re crazy. Surely I had imagined Will that night. I was truly losing my mind, there was just no way that man would want me back after what I had done. I didn’t deserve him. My own fear of not being worthy started to cloud my mind again, but I stopped it. I remembered what I learned from Gibran on love, to return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips. So that’s what I decided to do as I dozed off, perfectly tranquil, thinking about how grateful I was to have Will in my life again. I also made a tiny request to the universe regarding the subject of my impending dream…
I woke up the next morning to the sound of my own voice as I squirmed under the glorious sensation of my dream. After thanking the universe, I opened my eyes and smiled at the sunshine coming through the window. In the shower I took my time shaving my legs and afterward I patiently dried my hair and clipped one side back. I put on a blue and white striped sundress and a brass cuff bracelet and some lip gloss. I stood at the counter and flipped through a magazine, paying little attention to what I was actually looking at. Instead my mind was on the kiss Will and I had shared in the café and in the doorway the night before. I touched my fingers to my lips and closed my eyes. What if it were all part of the dream? I went to the door and replayed what had happened. I looked at the space where I’d stood while we kissed and wondered when reality stopped and the dream started.
I jumped, startled by the sound of the buzzer. “Hello?”
“Hey, kitten, come down. I have a cab waiting.”
Yes! He was real!
When I reached the bottom of the stairs, Will swung the door open and pulled me into his arms, kissing me passionately. “I’ve been thinking about that kiss for hours. You look beautiful, as always.”
“Thank you.”
He was clean-shaven, wearing the black pinstriped suit pants, his usual belt and wallet chain, and a black T-shirt; he looked and smelled like heaven. I looked him up and down, letting my eyes pause where his pants hung so perfectly. When I got back to his eyes, I smiled sheepishly.
“What?” he said with a brazen smirk.
“Nothing… I just… I love you in black.”
“I know, I can tell.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the cab.
He gave the cabby an address in Brooklyn. “Are we going to your place?”
He just nodded and squeezed my hand. When we got across Manhattan Bridge into Brooklyn, he turned to face me.
“Okay, I want you to do something for me.”
“Anything.”
“Close your eyes and just trust me for a while. I know that’s hard for you, but you’re just gonna have to have faith, okay?” he said, chuckling.
“I can do that now.” I closed my eyes. He took my hand and placed the digital four-track recorder in it.
“Hold this for a while and don’t open your eyes.”
“Okay.”