“Come on, sweetheart; a few more steps.”
Lily walked within reach of Beth as Shade motioned the brothers back, giving the women even more room. He gritted his teeth as Beth wrapped Lily protectively into her arms and pulled her from the water. She was almost paralyzed with fear, her eyes blank and focused on the terror in her mind.
Shade easily recognized the signs of someone who had been traumatized. Having fought overseas, it wasn’t the first time he had seen an incapacitating panic attack. He wanted to snatch the woman from her sister’s arms and be the one to protect her. However, he forced himself to stand still as Razer said something to Beth before she drove away.
“Let me go.” Sam tore her arm away from Evie’s tight grip. “I don’t know why you’re all acting like pussies around those stuck-up bitches.” She kicked off her tennis shoes before removing her shorts. “I’m going swimming. Any of you going to join me?” She ran into the water, her white ass jiggling until the water covered her.
Train and Rider both jumped into the water as the other women took off their own clothes.
Shade made no move to join them; instead, going to the cooler to pull out a beer. Taking a long swallow, he sat down on his bike and watched the others skinny-dip and get drunk.
No one tried to coax him into participating. When he wanted to join in, he would. If he didn’t, he would remain alone, watching over them to make sure they were all safe and no one was hurt from partying too hard. Right then, he wasn’t interested in getting shit-faced; he was too busy analyzing his reaction to a girl who was too young for him.
No one had ever made him feel the least amount of emotion, and he had been that way for as far back as he could remember. His first memory was of when his mother had reached out to stroke his hair. He had seen the hurt in her eyes when he had pulled away.
She had blamed his father for his being detached because he was constantly gone on deployment and moving them whenever the military gave him a new assignment. His father had tried to bond with him yet couldn’t reach past his emotionless barrier. Eventually, the fights between his parents had escalated until it had resulted in divorce. They had given him a choice of who to live with, and he had chosen his father for the sole reason that he didn’t try to hug or get into Shade’s physical space.
When his father had remarried, Shade was older and had learned to plaster a fake smile on his face and have other kids over to play, pretending to be normal. When Penni had been born, he had said “ooh” and “ahh” like everyone else, having learned what reactions to portray. He had watched and observed others, perfecting the mask he showed the world while inside, he had remained cold and unattached to everyone.
As he had grown older and matured, he had realized there was something seriously fucked-up with him. He felt no attachment to anyone. The deaths of relatives meant nothing to him. Watching others cry and grieve was as foreign to him as those who fell in love. If he had been raised by someone less caring or in an abusive home, he would have probably turned out to be a monster who went off the deep end and eventually took innocent lives.
Thankfully, his stepmother had been kind and treated him as her own, pushing him toward sports and finding true friends. Evie and Levi had been as close as he could let anyone in, though. Ultimately, between his family, Evie, and Levi, he had felt the only emotion he was capable of—loyalty.
It was why he had joined the military, which ultimately had saved him. He had been trained to do what he was born to do—kill. The military had taught him how to fine-tune his “talent” until there were very few who had his expertise. He could take out a target and not feel one fucking thing. He could kill someone and eat dinner an hour later without feeling the slightest bit of remorse.
He had never felt any spark of emotion until he had seen Lily. He could control his own heartbeat, yet it had sped out of control when she had glanced in his direction while she was in the water. She had stared through him as if he didn’t exist, and he hadn’t, until then. She had made him real. She had made him human without saying a damn thing.
Shade ran a hand over his hair, trying to make sense of what was happening.
“What’s up? Why are you glaring at Sam like you want to strangle her?” Razer asked, opening a beer.
“I’m getting sick of the bitch.”
Sam cast him a wary glance. She was too far away to hear his words, but she was smart enough to interpret the cold face staring at her.
“Didn’t seem that way the other night when she was sucking your dick.”