He got his way, I haven’t celebrated a birthday since. It’s taken three years of counselling and a lot of tears to accept that Jason’s choices were his own and not my fault. Gabe, once again was left to pick up the pieces that Jason left me in, he held me and soothed me while I mourned for another man, he looked after our new born babies when I couldn’t getting out of bed, because I was so weighed down over the guilt I felt at Jason’s suicide but eventually his love got me through, he was there, my saviour, once again making us face what life had thrown at us together. We had both agreed to counselling and had both learned to overcome our past demons.
I collapsed at the news of Jason’s death and was rushed to hospital the doctors spent the following two days trying to get my blood pressure under control, Reef Joseph and Ruby Angel Rose Wilde were bought into the world on the twenty sixth of April 2013, at 8:08 and 8:12 am, weighing 3lb 1oz and 2lb 8oz respectively. I missed the entire thing, and the first two days of their lives, thanks to the drug induced haze I was in. Luckily because of their size, they only spent a couple of weeks in the special care baby unit. They are now a happy, healthy, noisy, double bundle of joy; Reef – don’t ask, I let his Dad choose his name, looks like a cherub, with his chubby face and blonde curls, that’s where any resemblance to an angel ends; my son will have to grow up to either be a very fast runner or a very good fighter. Or he will simply have to learn to keep his mouth shut and not have a smart comeback to anything and everything you say to him. And Ruby, ahhh Ruby, where do I begin, my mother reckons I got the daughter I deserved, defiant, strong willed and totally independent, she is scared of no one and is adored by anyone who sets eyes on her, she too has a mass of curls but where her brothers are blonde, Ruby’s are as red as her name, and oh, did I mention she has a temper to match, never did I think that at almost fifty I would be having a daily battle of wills and doing anything to avoid a full on temper tantrum thrown by a three and a half year old, the only person she ever behaves for is her Daddy and that’s because her Daddy never says no to anything, what Ruby wants, Ruby gets where Gabe is concerned. Gabe, my rock, the absolute love of my love, who any second now is going to have me coming like a steam train, something he manages to still do at least once a day. Every single day of the year.
“Ahhh. Oh God Gabe.” I grab hold of the back of his hair, just as an almighty scream reaches our ears from somewhere in the house. We are both up and grabbing at clothes and pulling them on as we run to where the source of the noise is likely to be coming from, Ava’s room.
“Daddy!” Ava screams again.
When we redeveloped, we gave Ava her own space separate from the rest of the house, she has her own bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and rumpus room, which worked out well really as she has lived with us full-time for almost three years now, after the constant arguments with her Mum became too much for the both of them, we all decided it was for the best.
As we reach Ava’s bedroom there are a crowd of people, including Jo and Jake, who are still going strong as a couple, not bad for a pair of commitment-phobes. The fact Jake works away a lot seems to make it work for them. As we move the audience out of the way we find Ruby, standing in the middle of Ava’s bed, wearing Ava’s favourite Stella McCartney raw silk dress, with Ava’s favourite Channel silk scarf around her head and wearing possibly every piece of jewellery Ava possess around her wrists and neck and her face, quite possibly painted with every piece of makeup that Ava owns. The said makeup also being caked all over the bed and the aforementioned clothing. Added to this on top of her mop of curls are Ava’s brand new Gucci sunnies as well as Ava’s Beats head phones covering her ears as she sings her heart out into an empty beer bottle (No idea where she could have got that idea from) a word perfect rendition of Wonderwall.
She knows each and every word because it’s one of my favourite songs too and we always turn it up and give it large when it comes on in the car. We have this thing we do where I slow down and speed up. ‘Making the car do a happy dance’ as we call it, but anyway, that’s our little secret that we keep from Daddy. Ruby has her eyes tightly closed as she sings her little heart out, opening them as the song comes to an end, where the IPod is that the head phones are blue toothed to is, I have no idea. Everyone in the room cheers, including Gabe. Ruby opens her eyes grins and bows. The Gucci sunglasses fall from her head and just as she starts to lose her balance and it looks like she’s going to step on them.
Gabe scoops her up. “Great singing Angel.”
“Awww Daddy, don’t be a div, it was shit house.” I close my eyes in mortification. My daughter also has the mouth of a sewer.
Ava screams from beside me. “Ruby Angel Rose. Get back here and clean this mess up. Get my clothes off! Lauren, look at my Gucci’s, look at my Channel scarf, she always ruins my stuff. I’m getting a lock on this door, I swear to God.”