I was six centimeters, almost completely effaced and I was going to take a nap. For the next hour, I dozed in and out, letting my body
rest and prepare for what was to come.
I'd seen every type of birth imaginable in my career as an OB nurse, and I'd found that woman were strong and incredibly fierce creatures. Did
I think any less of myself for not going through with my labor naturally--hell no. I was delivering a child. No matter how it was done, the
immeasurable strength of our gender was shown in this one singular act.
Every once in a while, epidurals seem to have this funny effect on women--I've seen it before when caring for patients and after my pleasant
doze in dream land, my doctor noticed it as well.
"Leah, you're almost at ten centimeters," she announced as I groggily opened my eyes and watched her finish my internal exam. This part always
made Declan super uncomfortable. For being such a man whore in his former life, you'd think the sight of one woman feeling up another wouldn't
bother him, but I think the hospital setting shut off anything sexual and made him flee to the other side of the room.
"What? That's too fast, I'm not ready," I said, looking up at Dr. Pace, someone I'd worked with for years and been lucky enough to call a
friend. When it came time to pick a doctor for this little surprise baking in my belly, there was no question as to whom I'd trust with the
health of my unborn child.
"Well, sweets...I'm afraid you don't have a choice in the matter. Like most moments from here on out--your little one is making that choice for
you."
Declan was already by my side, taking a firm hold of my hand as he bent down to press his my lips to mine.
"Everything is going to be okay, Leah," Declan comforted, but as I watched the words tumble out of his mouth, his face began to distort and
blur.
"I don't feel so good--"
Declan
Leah's eyes disengaged and her words dropped off mid-sentence and at that moment, I felt my heart plummet to the floor.
"I think she's about to pass out!" I yelled. Just as I began yelling, alarm bells rang from the millions of monitors hooked up to my wife and
unborn daughter.
I couldn't breathe.
I looked at the monitors and saw spikes and red warnings flashing.
Trish and Dr. Pace began methodically and quickly silencing alarms and hooking up more tubes into more machines. Seconds later Leah had a mask
over her mouth and I let out a strangled gasp, knowing I could do nothing to help.
"Declan."
I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. What if something happened to her--to both of them?
"Declan," Trish called out my name once again and this time I turned.
"She's going to be fine. Her blood pressure bombed. She's breathing oxygen now, and she and the baby are fine. I'm going to keep the mask on
her throughout the rest of the delivery."
"She's okay?"
She placed a soothing hand on my shoulder, as I watched Leah open her eyes and turn towards me.
"Yes, they both are. See?"
I touched her hand briefly and nodded. "Thank you."
I rushed to Leah's bedside, grabbing her hand as I brought it to my lips.
"Seriously, don't do that again. I just saw my life flash before me."
"And what did you see?" she asked, her voice muffled behind the plastic of the mask.
"A life without Leah James is no life at all," I answered.
Her eyes crinkled and glistened. "Well, it's a good thing I'm too strong and stubborn to rid of so easily."
"Good."
My amazing wife showed just how strong she was over the next hour as she delivered out daughter into the world.
When I heard that magical sound of my daughter crying out for the first time after Dr. Pace had placed her on Leah's stomach, I knew I'd found
heaven.
Seeing tears of joy streaming down Leah's face as she cradled our newborn child to her bosom for the first time, it was then that I found
nirvana.
I used to think life was better spent on the sidelines. Don't get attached, don't feel--doing so only brings heartache and pain. It was only
when I stepped away from the safety net I'd made for myself and was willing to get my hands dirty that I experienced what living could truly
mean.
Life wasn’t about playing it safe, and it certainly wasn't easy, but I'd take whatever was left for a million more moments like this.
Leah
"Seriously, Declan--she just shoved cake up her nose!" I shouted from behind the camera lens.
"What? This is funny shit--I mean stuff," he laughed. Several of the other men in the family joined in while I pulled my head away from the
expensive camera that had been attached to my body since the day Lily arrived home from the hospital and gave him a dirty look.
His lazy sexy grin killed my death stare on contact.
Damn it, why did it have to be so hot all the time?
He sauntered over to me, squeezing between Clare and Logan and several other family members and pulled me into his arms. The camera was taken
out of my hands and given to Garrett to resume picture duty.