Never Say Never (Sniper 1 Security #2)
Nicole Edwards
Prologue
Three years ago
“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU thinking?” Ryan yelled, unable to contain the anger that surged through him as he stared back at the man who was responsible for nearly getting two of Ryan’s enforcers killed in recent days.
Kevin’s answering stare was blank, lacking any emotion whatsoever.
“You blew their cover and damn near got Trace and Z killed! Why the fuck would you do that?”
Still no answer.
Ryan thrust his hands through his hair, tugging hard on the shaggy blond strands as he turned on his heel and paced away from Kevin, hoping to keep from wrapping his fingers around the man’s throat and…squeezing.
How could someone be so fucking reckless? So careless? So goddamn stupid?
It was almost as though Kevin didn’t give a shit that he’d fucked up so epically. That was one of the main reasons Ryan had held off on having this conversation until today—four days after the shit had hit the fan.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t put it off any longer or he’d likely do just that.
“Are we done here?” Kevin asked, his tone hard.
Ryan turned to look at him, stunned by how uncouth the man was being. “No, we’re not fucking done here, Kevin. Were you not thinking? Did you not consider what the hell you were doing? The lives you were putting in jeopardy?”
When Kevin didn’t respond, Ryan had to hold back the frustrated groan that wanted to break free. Not sure what to say or do, Ryan walked behind his desk, but he didn’t sit down. He couldn’t. There was too much anger built up, too many emotions tearing him in a million different directions. Disappointment, fear, frustration. Incredulity. A fucking ton of incredulity.
“Look,” Kevin began. “I’ve got shit to do. So if you’re done ripping me a new one, we can talk about this at home later.”
Ryan stared back at the man standing before him, a man Ryan no longer recognized although they’d been dating for the better part of three years. He’d met Kevin in this very same building nearly five years ago when Kevin had come to work for Sniper 1 Security.
“No, we won’t,” Ryan countered hotly. “I… Fuck! I don’t even know what the hell to say to you right now.”
“Don’t say anything,” Kevin told him, a hint of concern echoing in the words. “Let’s talk when you calm down.”
“That’s the thing, Kevin. You don’t fucking get it. I won’t calm down. You almost got two people killed.”
Kevin’s usually pale skin heated, his cheeks turning crimson. “I did what I thought was best. Are you sure you’re not just pissed because it was Trace and Z?”
“What the hell does that mean?” Ryan squared his shoulders and faced off with Kevin. “It wouldn’t’ve mattered who the hell it was.”
“Are you sure about that?” Kevin snapped, his green eyes glittering with menace. “I’ve seen the way you look at Z. You’ve got a hard-on for the guy. Even I can see that.”
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about.” Ryan knew this conversation was going nowhere, but leave it to Kevin to turn it around on him. For the three years they’d been dating, Kevin had grown more and more insecure with every passing day. He was jealous, so much so that Ryan had heard a few offhanded comments from others recently. It was clear that Kevin had allowed emotion to interfere with his ability to do his job and he could no longer be objective. That or… Holy fuck. “Did you do this on purpose?” Ryan took a step closer. “Did you fucking blow their cover because you’re jealous?”
“What? No!” Kevin’s gaze dropped to the floor, a clear sign of guilt.
“Christ. I can’t believe I didn’t see this before.” Ryan paced away from Kevin, fury causing his hands to shake. He suddenly didn’t want to be in the same room with him.
“See what?” Kevin retorted, his voice louder this time. “You can’t see a goddamn thing, RT. You’re too busy worrying about your precious career, your stupid job, this stupid company. You don’t give a shit about me at all, do you?”
Ryan stared at Kevin in disbelief. Three years. Three fucking years he’d given to this man, trying his best to make it work despite their differences, despite Kevin’s jealousy, his anger, his short fuse. “This is my company, Kevin! Those people”—Ryan stabbed his finger toward the door—“are my employees. I owe it to them to be worried about their safety.”
“Them? What about me?” Kevin yelled. “Aren’t you the slightest bit worried about me?”
“Of course I am.” Ryan couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. It was one they’d gone round and round about many times before. Kevin would never be satisfied with the fact that Ryan had to worry about someone other than him.
They continued to stare at one another, and during those interminably long seconds, Ryan felt his world crumbling around him. Not that he hadn’t been anticipating it. For the last few months, he’d been trying to find a way to break things off with Kevin. He’d given the relationship everything he had. But now he no longer had anything left to give.
Kevin’s face fell, his anger seeming to subside. “We can talk about this later tonight.”
“No, Kevin, we can’t,” Ryan told him. “There’s nothing more to discuss. I’m meeting with Bryce and Casper again this afternoon after I talk to Z. They’ll be making the decisions going forward.”
“What does that mean? Decisions? Are you firing me?”
Ryan didn’t answer. He wouldn’t know until he spoke to Bryce and Casper in a couple of hours, but yeah, if they gave him the choice, Ryan would be cutting Kevin loose today. From his job. From Ryan’s life. He couldn’t stand to look at Kevin anymore. The man standing before him damn sure wasn’t the same one Ryan had fallen in love with so long ago.
“You don’t need to do anything rash,” Kevin stated, a hint of concern enhancing the words. “Give me a chance to make it up to you.”
“To me?” Ryan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “This isn’t about me.”
“It never is, is it?” Kevin countered hotly. “I’m the one who’s at fault. Always me. You can’t even accept responsibility for the arguing, the fighting, the…alienation.”
“What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Talking. About?” Ryan couldn’t hold back any longer. He was being buried under the emotional overload, anger resonating, churning into something much more potent.
“I know you’ve been pushing me away, RT. That’s what you do. You push everyone away. And yes! Maybe that’s why I did it. I’m sick and fucking tired of you paying attention to everyone else. Maybe I need some attention. Did you ever think of that?”
Ryan stared at Kevin, shock and horror coalescing as his worst fears were realized. If he hadn’t misunderstood—and he really didn’t think he had—Kevin had just admitted to setting Trace and Z up.
It must’ve registered with Kevin what he’d said, because his eyes widened. “I didn’t mean that,” Kevin backtracked. “It wasn’t my fault. I swear to you it wasn’t my fault. Look, it won’t happen again. We can work this out, RT.”
No, they couldn’t, but Ryan couldn’t even say that much. He merely pointed toward the door.
“Don’t kick me out, RT. Don’t make me go. You owe it to us to listen, to be on my side.”
Ryan swallowed hard, studying Kevin’s face. He’d given the last few years of his life to this man, and it had all come down to this. “There is no more us,” he told Kevin as gently as he could, which honestly wasn’t much. He wished they’d been able to keep this topic separate from the discussion at hand, but it was inevitable. As it was, Ryan had managed to keep his distance from Kevin, speaking to him only in the office or on the phone, but it hadn’t been easy.
“No. Hold up. You don’t mean that,” Kevin sputtered.
“I do. It’s been over for a long time. This was just the last straw.”
“RT, please. Don’t—”