“I’ve got good news, babe. I’ll be in the city tomorrow night.”
He’d be in the city? She almost laughed out loud, realizing how things had changed so astronomically since the last time she’d spoken to—or thought about—Tony. A few weeks ago she’d have jumped up and down with excitement at the sound of his voice, at the idea of meeting up with Tony and going to bed with him. Now, it was the last thing she wanted.
How could she just forget about everything that happened and go back the way she was in the pre-Ben days? How could she ever settle for casual sex when she’d experienced something deeper?
“That’s great,” she finally answered, her tone hardly enthusiastic.
“Don’t sound so thrilled about it,” he teased.
“I’m sorry. I just…I’ve met someone.” Next to her, Summer’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline.
There was a brief silence. “You’re kidding me,” Tony finally said with a laugh.
“It’s not funny, you know.”
“I’m not making fun of you, hon. I’m just stunned. What happened to the Maggie I meet three times a year?”
“Two times,” she corrected.
Tony sounded perplexed. “Is it serious?”
She drew in a breath. “Yeah. I think so. I’m sorry, Tony.”
“Hey, don’t apologize. We had a good run, don’t ya think?”
“It was great,” she said, and she meant it. It had been great, the casual trysts with Tony. But she didn’t want great anymore. She wanted incredible. She wanted body-numbing. Toe-curling. Heart-thumping.
She wanted Ben.
Feeling her eyes well up with unwelcome tears, she said a quick goodbye and hung up, swiping at her damp lashes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. Damn it. She was sick of crying.
Lifting her chin, she ran her hands through her messy hair and released a groan. “This is why I never wanted anything serious. Feeling miserable sucks.”
Summer stared at her. “You’re a different person. How the hell did this happen?”
She managed a faint smile. “Shocking, huh?”
“No, I’m serious, Mags.” Summer rubbed her temples. “You just broke it off with Tony. Tony, for God’s sake! The guy you can’t wait to see each time he comes to visit.”
“I guess Two-Time Tony isn’t enough anymore,” she finally admitted. “Ben…well, he made me realize something.”
“You’ve already fallen for the guy,” Summer teased. “What more could you have realized?”
“That I don’t want to be alone.”
Instantly the anvil pressing down on her ribcage lifted. Saying the words out loud was difficult but cathartic because they were so undeniably true. The past couple days without Ben had been horrible. Miserable and horrible and excruciatingly lonely.
The loneliness was what finally got to her. For so long she’d worked her ass off to make something of herself. She’d wanted her life to mean something, she’d wanted to matter, if only to the kids she worked with, and that’s what always drove her. Saving money, getting a college degree, finding a meaningful job. But what happened afterwards? What happened when she went home at night, alone? When she woke up every morning, alone? When the only person she was able to share her dreams, thoughts and feelings with was a roommate who’d soon be building her own life with the man she loved?
So she would have a career, so she’d spend her afternoons doing something meaningful, but what was the point if she didn’t have anyone to share it with?
“I miss him,” she finally admitted. “I miss talking to him, and joking around with him. I miss kissing him. Hell, I even miss listening to him sing along to the Beach Boys.”
A knowing smile curved Summer’s mouth. “It’s a pretty amazing feeling, isn’t it? Being in love?” She paused. “Listen, I know this probably isn’t the time to tell you this, but…Tygue and I are getting married.”
For a moment, all of Maggie’s problems whisked out of her tired brain. “Really?”
Summer blushed prettily. “He proposed on the last night of our trip. We’re thinking a Christmas wedding in Jamaica.”
“I’m happy for you, Summer.”
“Thanks.” She paused again. “Why don’t you call him?”
“Tygue? I can just congratulate him in person.”
“Not Tygue. Ben.”
“I can’t call him.”
“Why not?”
“Because I asked him to leave.”
“So ask him to come back.”
Maggie swallowed. “It’s not that simple. Look, even if I do tell him how I feel, the media won’t stop harassing us. And as long as reporters are interested in me, Gloria won’t let me work at the center.”
Summer’s expression softened. “Then you need to ask yourself this—what’s more important to you, your job or the man you love?”
“C’mon, Summer, don’t make this about me having to choose.”
“What if that’s what it comes down to?”