Parker’s pride is oozing off him. I love that he works as hard as he does.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Where’s Ava?” I ask, noticing her absence from the living room.
“She’s out back. She told me to stay here.”
I look to the ceiling, knowing no matter what I find, it won’t be good. “Finish your homework and I’ll be right back.”
He nods.
Making my way through the house, I hear her voice on the patio. When I get out there, the cigarette smoke punches me in the face. “My mom is such a bitch. She’s so stupid and I’ll sneak out tonight once she goes to sleep,” Ava laughs into the phone.
We’ll see who’s stupid. I grab the phone from her ear, putting it to mine. “Ava can’t meet you tonight because her stupid mother caught her, but don’t worry. In a month when she’s ungrounded…” I level her with a glare. “She’ll tell you all about the bitch her mother is then.”
“Mom!” she screams.
I grab the cigarette from her hand, dropping it to the ground. “Don’t talk, Ava. Don’t even say a goddamn word to me. Your phone is gone. You will go to school, dance, and home. That’s it.”
“I hate you!”
“Good, then I’m doing my job.”
“I wish you were shot instead of Daddy!”
And the bomb goes boom.
Chapter Two
Danielle
“She was fucking smoking!” I pace around as Nicole tries to calm me.
“So what? We did far worse than that, remember?”
I glare at her. “That was different!”
I’m not sure why I’m here. Nicole is the absolute worst person to try to get sympathy from for these kinds of things. She was that asshole friend who got me grounded more times than I can count. The bitch who convinced us that we needed to do whatever moronic idea she came up with because she needed accomplices in all her shenanigans. And me, Heather, and Kristin were the dipshits who followed the really bad leader.
It suddenly hits me. I gave birth to a Nicole.
I’m so fucked.
“How? You were the one who got caught smoking outside the church parking lot ten minutes before confession,” she reminds me.
“Because you made me!”
She bursts out laughing. “Yeah, but you didn’t have to smoke it.”
“I need new friends.”
Nicole shrugs and then gets up from her desk. “Listen, she’s been through a lot. Losing your dad blows when you’re her age.”
My head falls back and I groan. “I know, but she’s drinking, smoking, telling me she hates me, and God only knows if she’s having sex.” Dread fills me. I didn’t even think about that and now I imagine starring on 16 and Pregnant. Wouldn’t that be the icing on my life-is-shit-cake.
“Oh, she’s totally getting laid,” Nicole smirks.
“Fuck.” I drop my head in my hands.
“Stop,” she laughs. “I’m kidding . . . maybe. But look, either way, she’s a smart girl. I’ll have a talk with her if you want.”
I lift my head, eyes narrowed because Nicole isn’t going to talk her out of it, she’ll encourage the crap. “No.”
“I’m not going to make it worse,” she defends. “I’m all responsible and shit now. Just let me talk to my hellchild niece and fix her ass. I’ll scare her.”
It can’t get any worse, right? “What made you finally snap out of it?”
She sighs and leans against her large mahogany desk. “I don’t know. I think it was you, Kristin, and Heather. Or maybe your parents? It was like I didn’t want to disappoint them. Disappointing my mother, on the other hand, was the single joy I had in my life.”
I smile, remembering. There were times I thought she was nuts, but most of the time, it was hilarious to see Esther lose her mind. Nicole pushed every button that woman had, and it’s clear Ava is the same.
“Well, Ava is definitely on that same path. And I understand she’s angry that her father was murdered, I am too, but I don’t deserve to be her punching bag. I’m doing the best I can.”
Nicole places her hand on my arm. “You’re doing great. This is just teenagers being assholes. She’s pissed at the world. She loved Peter and he was angry with her the day he was shot. Imagine that heavy burden she’s carrying, Danni.”
“He loved her. She knows that.”
“Does she? She can’t ask him. I’m sure a part of her gets it, but she’s pissed off and you’re the only person she has left that is pretty much required to love her disrespectful ass.”
“Am I though?” I joke.
No amount of attitude would dull the love I feel for my daughter. I just wish she didn’t make it so difficult to like her.
Nicole shrugs. “My moral compass broke a long time ago, I wouldn’t go by me. If my kid ends up being anything like me, I’m selling him to the highest bidder.”
She’s full of shit. For all the crap she pulls, her heart is ten times too big. She loves the people around her more than any of us deserve. I showed up at her office and she cancelled a client because I was unable to get a grip. That client might have been her husband, but still.
“Well, I have one teenager free of charge,” I offer, only partially kidding.
“Yours is defective. If you want someone to take the goods, you need to sell the product better.”
“Idiot.”
“Whatever.” Nicole tilts her head. “But I’ll talk to her today. Maybe take her out for dinner, slap her around a bit since no one can call child services on me, and bring her back with a shiny new attitude.”
If only it worked that way.
“I appreciate you trying,” I say and then look out the window.
Nothing any of us said to Nicole ever changed her ways, so I don’t think she’ll be able to get Ava to stop her crap either. Then again, no one has ever really been able to resist Nicole, so maybe there’s hope after all.
“Look, I can’t promise anything, but I understand where Ava is at right now.”
My eyes meet hers. “Angry?”
She nods. “When my dad left, I was pissed! I hated him, my mom, the girl who took him from my mom. The fact that he couldn’t care less about me made it easy to act like a total jackass. Ava lost her father too, and isn’t coping.”
I’ve tried everything to get her to open up and Nicole knows that. I’ve taken her to counseling and spent time with her one on one. My parents have even tried, and she refuses to give an inch.
At the counselor, she literally sat there refusing to speak. I was the winner of a two-hundred-dollar therapy bill and zero words spoken.
“I’m just at a loss. I feel like I lost both of them the day Peter was murdered.”
Nicole takes my hand, “I’ll talk to her.”
I squeeze. “Thank you.”
“You know, Heather might be a good one too. Her parents were killed as well, and maybe she can shed some light on breaking through to Ava.”
I nod. “It’s been hard for Heather,” I say. “She’s endured so much loss. I hate to ask her to even touch any of mine.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Hey!” I protest.
“For real. You think Heather gives a shit? She wants to be there for you, Danni. You’ve pushed everyone to this outer fringe of friendship the last eighteen months. Kristin barely speaks to you, Heather calls and you don’t answer, the only reason you talk to me is because I don’t give a shit about boundaries. You tried with me, but I won’t let you. I’m not nice like them and won’t give you space. I know you’re only using it as a big fat excuse to run away and hide.”
I get to my feet, ready to fight. “Fuck you!”
“No thanks, I’m a married woman.”
All of the anger I had drains as she stands there with a smile, and I burst out laughing. “God, I hate you sometimes.”
“I’m not trying to hurt you. You know that right?”
I look at my friend and nod. “I know.”