“Drink your coffee,” Rory said. “I want you sober before we have this conversation, because I’m not saying it twice.”
Logan stifled the urge to storm out, since that would be childish. Besides, part of him was interested in what his father had to say. Rory had never been in the habit of dishing out parental advice—not to him anyway. He drank his coffee, poured himself another, and drank that. By the time he’d finished the second, his head was clearing. He put down the mug and leaned back, staring Rory in the face. His dad didn’t look away. “Say what twice?”
“How do you feel about Abby?”
Not what he was expecting. “It doesn’t matter what I feel.”
“And why is that?”
“Because she’s too fucking good for me.”
Rory raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Really.” Anyone could see that. “So I am doing the noble thing and backing off. She can find a nice man and have a nice life.”
“Bullshit”
“Bullshit?” Of course it wasn’t bullshit.
Rory slammed his empty glass down then stared him in the eye. “At least have the guts to admit that you’re shit-scared.”
He frowned. “I am?”
Rory ignored the question. “And if you’re not scared it’s because you’re being a total pussy and playing it safe. Maybe you’re not good enough for her. Or maybe you’re too good. She’s certainly not the sort of woman I would have expected you to fall for.”
“She’s perfect.”
“Of course she is…not. No one is perfect. Not me, not you, and certainly not Abby.”
He searched for a flaw in that statement. “Declan was perfect.”
“And look where that got him. Close to imploding.”
“True.” Logan poured another cup of tepid coffee and gulped it down. He had a hunch his dad was right, and he did need to be sober for this conversation. “Don’t you think it’s a little late to start handing out fatherly advice?” he asked Rory as he placed the empty mug back on the table.
“Probably. With you I never tried. Never thought I had the right. Besides, you were always a contrary little brat. Tell you one thing and it was a guarantee you’d go the other way.” He grinned. “Actually, I liked that in you. You’re like me. Too much like me. Which doesn’t mean I have to sit by and watch you make the same mistakes.”
“It’s not a mistake. She wants different things. She wants a good life and a man who’ll stick by her and provide a stable home for Jenny.” And how he fucking hated the thought of some other man doing that.
“And you can’t do that?”
The question stopped him short. Could he? A shiver of fear ran through him. What if he did all that, offered her everything, all of him, forever, and she still walked away? How long would it take her to realize that he really wasn’t good enough? If he gave her everything and she dumped him, would he ever recover?
For God sake, he hardly had a good track record.
At least this way he was getting out before he got in too deep.
Though who was he kidding? He was as deep as he could go.
“Like I said. Why not fucking admit it?” Rory cut through his thoughts. “You’re shit-scared. You think if you let yourself fall in love, eventually Abby will dump you like your mother did. Isn’t that the case?”
The words so mirrored his own thoughts that his mouth dropped open. Rory let out a short, humorless laugh. “I married your mother because of you. She was never what you might call lovable, but she was fucking gorgeous. It’s not a basis for marriage. I married Judith because she could give me what I needed—respectability. But never love. I understand why—I never considered I deserved love and believe me, in my case I had good reason. I did some fucked up crap when I was young. But you…” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve never been good at this shit.” He took a deep breath. “What I’m trying to say is that you are in no way to blame for the stuff that went down when you were a kid. Just as I suspect Abby is in no way to blame for how she’s turned out.”
“She’s fucking perfect,” he growled.
Rory grinned. “Of course she is. So you’ll back off and let her find someone equally perfect? Hell, maybe you can be a fucking bridesmaid at their wedding.”
“Bastard.” He exhaled loudly.
“How much of a coward are you, son?” Rory stood up. “Enough from me. Except—don’t fuck this up. I like her. And anyway, now that we’ve got Jess in the family we need someone nice to balance it up.”
Logan watched as he walked away.
Okay, step one. Accept that he was, in actual fact, shit-scared. Scared that he’d offer himself up and she’d find him wanting. That he’d fall in love…
As the word crossed his mind, he had a revelation, almost equal to the one he’d had in that boat when his life had flashed in front of him and he’d realized he might die without ever setting eyes on his fantasy girl again.
It was too late.
Way too late.