“Excuse me.” Duncan stood inside the open doorway, water dripping from his hands and face where he’d scrubbed up at the water barrel outside. To her grandma, he said, “May I have a moment to speak to my wife in private? I need to do so afore I leave.”
“Of course, and know that we dinnae blame you for what has happened here this day.” Tears welling in Grandma’s eyes, she hugged Duncan then shuffled outside.
Her chosen one shut the door, the quiet snick reverberating like thunder in her ears. From beside the door, he collected his and Ivor’s satchels, although he left her bag sitting there as he made his way to her. “By my actions this day, I’ve endangered your life and that of your loved ones.”
“You did naught more than defend yourself. I’m the one at fault. I led you and Gavin right here.” Hot tears burned behind her eyes and slowly slid down her cheeks.
“Nay, my love, death pervades this place because of me, and once the MacDonald hears of all that’s happened here this day, I’ll have gained an even greater enemy than I already have. Right now, above all things, your safety and that of your kin must come first.” Pain slashed his face. “It has been decided. Ewen and Ethan will both ride to Dunscaith, speak to the MacDonald and inform him of all that’s happened, that I alone am responsible for slaying Gavin and his men. ’Twas simply most unfortunate that it occurred right here on your grandparents’ doorstep. That is the only way to clear them of any involvement.”
“The MacDonald will come after you.”
“Aye, but you’ll be safe, just as safe as you’ve always been, provided you no longer hold my name and that the MacDonald never learns we were wed. Fortunately, all those now aware of our bond lie below the ground, and at least that I can be grateful for.”
“You cannae think to leave me.” She heaved to her feet, her legs trembling. “I’m coming with you.”
“You need to remain here.” He strode to the door, halted and glanced over his shoulder at her, his expression tortured. “We are no longer wed. I repudiate my handfast vow.” Broken words, and each one tore at her heart.
“You cannae do this to us. After all we’ve been through, you truly wish to give up on our bond? No more marriage?”
“Ensuring your safety is imperative, and this is the only way to do so. Deep inside your heart, you know it too. There can be no more bond. I’ll never allow the MacDonald to use you or your kin as pawns in our war.”
“There has to be another way, Duncan.” Anger and frustration crashed fiercely inside her, made her heart cry out with the pain of her loss.
“There is none.”
“Dinnae leave me.” She wanted to scream and hit him, only she remained frozen and still.
“I love you, will always love you.”
“And I hate you,” she slammed back at him. How could he leave her like this? Just utter a few simple words and end their handfast and toss any possible future away.
“Farewell, Ella.” He shut the door and was gone.
She sank to the ground, never more lost and alone, her heart crushed.
We are no longer wed. I repudiate my handfast vow.
Duncan’s final words continued to reverberate through Ella’s mind each day over the torturously long month that followed, the pain of his rejection never easing. Her chest burned where her heart had been, every day one in which she struggled to rise, woodenly saw to her chores which Grandma had set while Ethan moped around too. After the battle, Grandpa and Ethan had ridden to Dunscaith Castle and told the MacDonald what Duncan had instructed them to say, that he alone was responsible for his nephew and men’s deaths. The MacDonald chief had been furious, had sent out a band of his men to seek adequate justice and a mighty battle had ensued along the shores of Loch Carron near Ardan House.
Word had reached her in the following days, that even more men had lost their lives, a war that still raged even now.
“I know exactly how you’re feeling, my sweet.” Mama swished across the meadow toward where she lay in the long grass. Grandpa had sailed for the village and returned with Mama within days of Duncan’s leaving. Ever since, Mama had been trying to raise her spirits. Plopping down beside her in her red skirts, such sympathy and love shone in her parent’s eyes. “I hate to see you in such pain, Ella.”
“Each day seems excruciatingly endless.” She fisted the long grass while overhead wispy clouds floated past. “How did you survive without Papa?”
“All I wanted to do was curl up and die, but you and Ethan kept me sane until one day, I suddenly began to remember the good times and no longer focused on the bad. You must no’ forget that your mate still lives, that you have no’ lost him as I lost your papa. Take comfort in that.”
“The last words I threw at him still haunt me.”
“What did you say?”
“That I hated him.” Despair overwhelmed her, made each breath she took come harder.