“Shut up. I thought this all out and I have to say it. If ye interrupt, I willnae get it all out. I am going to tell ye what I want. I want a mon who can make my eyes cross when he makes love to me. I want a roof o’er my head and I dinnae much care if the roof is only thatch. I want enough food to keep us from starving and enough coin to buy something pretty when I have to go to some special celebration. I want bairns. I may nay be able to bear any of my own but there are many, many poor wee bairns who need a home and I will be looking for some. And ...”
Arianna suddenly realized that Brian was sitting up straight in his seat staring at her in a way that made her a little nervous. It was such an intense look that she found it difficult to recall the rest of what she had planned to say. Her fury was also fading and suddenly so was her courage.
“And ...” Brian demanded.
“And I want ye to give them to me. I want to be with ye, in your bed, in whate’er home ye make for us, and I want ye to try and love me as I love ye. And if ye try to send me away again, I will come right back.”
“Ye are nay going anywhere.”
He moved so fast she had no chance to elude him even if she wanted to. Arianna was astonished at how quickly he got her down on the floor. She was swiftly drowning in the heat of his kiss when she heard a slight tearing noise.
“My gown,” she began.
“I will get ye another.”
Brian did not think he had ever undressed her so fast or shed his own clothing with such speed. He needed to be skin to skin with her so badly he did not care about what ripped or where their clothes landed when he tossed them aside. If he did not have the proof of her kisses and the touch of her hands to tell him that passion had gripped her as tightly as it had him, he would be worried about how rough he was. Instead, he thought only of burying himself deep inside her.
Arianna cried out with joy when Brian joined their bodies with one hard thrust. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, reveling in the ferocity of his passion. Her own desire rose up hot and wild, her need for him a greed she doubted would ever wane. When her release crashed over her, she was faintly aware of shouting out her pleasure and her love. Then she was lost in the pleasure that swept all thought from her head as he joined her in that blissful fall, saying her name against her neck as his body shuddered from the strength of his release.
“So, ye are staying then,” he said once he regained the power of speech.
“Only if ye truly want me to,” she said, praying that she had not mistaken what had just happened, that what they had just shared meant he loved her, too, or was at least very close to loving her.
“I ne’er really wanted ye to leave.” He kissed the hollow at the base of her neck. “I just thought that it was what I should do.”
“But do I stay as just your lover or am I to be more?”
He lifted his head and kissed the tip of her nose. “Ye have always been more, Arianna. Always. If ye stay, it will be as my wife. ’Tis one reason I was insistent on making ye leave. I kenned that, if I kept ye close any longer, I would ne’er have the strength to let ye go. I thought that was wrong, even selfish, when ye could find a mon who could give ye so much more that I can.”
“Ye give me what I need, Brian. That is all that matters. I wish I could give ye a child,” she whispered.
“If ye dinnae, then ye dinnae. I shall nay be upset. I have so many kin I cannae recall half their names anyway.” He returned her quick grin. “And I like your thought of finding some wee ones who desperately need a home. I think we shall do that e’en if we are granted one of our own.”
He eased free of her body and picked her up in his arms. “And I shouldnae have my soon to be wife lying on the hard floor.” He settled her down on a small bed tucked against the wall and quickly joined her there.
“Ye have a bed in your ledger room?”
“We have wee beds where’er we can fit them and this isnae really my ledger room, but the room where anyone who has some work to do can come and do it.” He frowned as he stroked her hip. “I fear that will be the way of it for a while, Arianna. I have no home save this one.”
“This is a fine home. All we need is a bedchamber that doesnae have a few of your brothers in it.” She smiled when he laughed. “Or, if ye want, we could go and live in a wee cottage on the land the boys hold.”
“Where is that?”
“About a half day’s ride from here in the same direction as Dubheidland.”
“Jesu, that close?” He shook his head. “Weel, we can talk on all that later. I want to enjoy the first day of ye becoming part of Scarglas.”
She sighed with pleasure when he licked the hard tips of her breasts, fondling them in an almost idle manner that had her blood heating in a deliciously slow way. There was only one small shadow on her happiness. Brian had not told her he loved her. Arianna thought she could sense it in the way he made love to her, in the way he looked at her, but found that was not enough. She wanted to hear the words.
“Brian, I said I loved ye,” she began with a hesitancy she hated but could not shake free of.