Damaged and the Knight (Damaged #2)

Hugging Farah tighter, I whispered, “Waiting in the motel after Dad left, I accepted I’d starve or be killed by those freaks. I was praying I starved, but I didn’t think I would ever get out of there. Then, Judd showed up and he seemed mean and cold. Yet, he was beautiful and I wanted him to be mine. I needed him to love me and he does now and I still can’t believe that it’s real. I’m sure you feel that way with Cooper too.”


Nodding, Farah looked into my eyes. “We went from having nothing to have something beautiful here. Friends and a home. A place we belong and new families who value us. Most of all, we have men who love us despite all of our damage. They see the fucked up parts and they accept the crap and help us be what we need to be to survive. We have all that and we’re together and I wake up some nights and wonder if it was a dream.” Farah paused and steadied herself. “I had a dream the other night that I was starting college. I saw Cooper and thought he was so beautiful, just like I did that first day in Spanish class. In this dream though, he never showed any interest in me. He never wanted me and we never fell in love. In the dream, I knew we were supposed to be together, but he never saw me. I woke up so scared in the dark. I thought the dream was real and I was a fool to think I would ever get so many blessings. I thought I was stupid to believe I could get a man like Cooper to love me with all my crying and baggage. He does though and I try to remind myself of that, but I get scared it could all go away. Like he could wake up and realize I wasn’t what he needed. I know he won’t, but I worry.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Jodi approaching the salon with her daughters. Returning my gaze to Farah, I needed to say the words, even if she hated hearing them.

“Do you ever think of therapy?”

Panic lit up Farah’s dark eyes. “I don’t want to talk about what happened.”

“You could talk about what you just told me. You could talk about anything you want. Tina doesn’t push me. She just lets me talk. Sometimes, I say really ugly things about myself, but she doesn’t get mad. She just lets me say them and asks what made me want to say them. It’s never like a test where I have to give the right answers.”

Twisting at her hair, Farah nodded. “Maybe I should try. Coop is psyched about having a baby. He’s not pushing me, but I’m scared to have a kid and be too fucked up to love it right.”

Pulling her away from the door, I whispered, “You could think about it. Like get used to the idea. Maybe come with me to a session, so you could see what it’s like. It would be like a practice run.”

“I do like to practice,” Farah said, smiling softly. “I’m going to think about it. I can’t do it before the wedding though. I can’t have more stress. I’m trying to focus on school and Coop, but the wedding scares me.”

“You won’t fall,” I said as Jodi, Bailey, and Sawyer entered. “You’ll be perfect and there’ll be a hot guy waiting for you at the altar.”

Farah gave me a giant smile. “Can you imagine how hot Coop will look in his tux?”

“My boy cleans up good,” Jodi said, stretching. “Let’s get this beauty thing rolling since my poodle hair needs a lot of love to get shoved up into a bun.”

Soon, everyone settled in for their day at the salon. Lark arrived not long afterwards and the stylists did their magic. With highlights for Farah and me, straightening for Bailey, a trim for Lark, and conditioning treatments for Sawyer and Jodi, we were stuck in the chairs for hours. We also had our nails done while drinking too much caffeine and laughing about how much Cooper wanted his hair to grow out before the wedding. Even with the jovial mood, I caught Farah’s gaze. For a few minutes, we simply watched each other.

Life was different now. Most of all, we were different. Out on the deck, we’d promised to start again. We were keeping our words, but it wouldn’t be easy. Nothing good ever was, yet so much promise was at our fingertips. We only had to reach out and grab onto our dreams and never let them go.

***

When I joined him at the gym, Judd really liked my highlights and haircut. He kept nuzzling my hair while training me. Unfortunately, all of his built up arousal made him a beastly trainer. He worked me hard on the punching bag until my puny arms were ready to fall off.

Before I left, he kissed me like he was fucking me with his tongue. His message was clear. I should be waiting naked at home, so he could fuck me with other parts of his body. I wholeheartedly agreed with this plan.

Arms aching as I pulled the SUV into the underground garage, I wasn’t looking forward to the cold walk to the elevators. Winter had teased us for the last few weeks, but the ugliness of late January brought with it a chill I felt to my bones. I grabbed my bag and climbed out of the massive vehicle with a plan to run for the elevator and whine mentally about how much I wished spring was already here. Instead, I took four steps away from the SUV before hearing a familiar voice.