Damaged and the Knight (Damaged #2)

Accustomed to long periods of silence, I didn’t mind the quiet in the SUV. Normally when Dad was tense, he didn’t talk. This was a blessing since he got mean when tense.

Watching Judd, I knew he struggled with unwelcome feelings, despite the dull expression in blue eyes.

Did he really have a woman back in Ellsberg? Or at least someone special enough to feel divided over? While I didn’t feel very young anymore, did he simply worry about the ten year age difference? Judd pretended to see me as a kid, yet I saw desire in his eyes too. I never felt better than when he looked at me in his hungry way.

An hour before reaching Ellsberg, Judd pulled off the highway to fill up the tank, even if it wasn’t very low. Ignoring me fully, he pulled into a restaurant parking lot and left the SUV. I hurried to catch up and met him at the door he held open for me.

After we were seated and ordered, I watched him not watching me. Judd struggled to avoid eye contact and I wished he would pay attention to me. I felt like I was nothing without his gaze on me. As if I’d actually become invisible without his acknowledgement. Even used to being ignored, I couldn’t stand it from Judd.

Twice, I attempted to start a conversation. First, I asked about where he lived in Ellsberg. He just shrugged. Second, I asked what he drove since the SUV was a rental. Sighing, Judd didn’t respond.

Giving up, I stared at my hands as we waited for our food. The waitress gave us two refills before our food arrived. I smiled at her and said thank you, but she was ignoring me too.

“What?” Judd said suddenly as we still waited for our meals.

Frowning, I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”

“You keep staring at the waitress’s necklace like you’re planning to rip it off her.”

“I had one like that, so I was admiring hers.”

“Your daddy pawn it to pay the bills?” Judd asked in a grumpy voice.

“No,” I said, frowning darker now. “A man stole it, so he could give it to his daughter.”

Judd met my gaze finally and the irritation in his eyes turned uglier. “The fucker told you he was giving it to his kid?”

Remembering how the thug Eric made me take off my necklace, I also recalled the way he called me by his daughter’s name during the rapes. No matter the gift to her, I doubted his kid had an easy life.

After a minute, I spoke quietly. “It wasn’t fancy or expensive. I don’t think it was even real gold or anything. Just a little necklace with a tiny crucifix, but it was the prettiest thing I ever owned.”

Judd’s gaze clouded over with an emotion that broke my heart. So much pain hid inside this beautiful man and I wanted to fix it all. I wanted to heal him like Cooper healed Farah. I never thought to how damaged I was or how I couldn’t heal myself. All I imagined was helping Judd.

“I’m getting a job in Ellsberg,” I told him when he just watched me with those pained eyes. “I’ll save up and buy myself a new necklace. A nicer one even. I’m good at saving..”

“What kind of job?”

“Waitressing, I guess. I don’t like working in stores. It’s boring, but if that’s all I can do, I’ll do that. I’m going to pull my weight.”

Judd stretched his arms along the back of the booth and frowned. “Cooper won’t want his woman’s sister working a shit job. It’ll make him look like he doesn’t take care of his own.”

“I’m going to help pay the bills,” I added softly.

“With a waitressing job?” When I nodded, Judd rolled his eyes. “Cooper doesn’t need your crappy paycheck to pay for things.”

“Then, I’ll save my money and buy stuff.”

Judd looked pissed again and I didn’t know why. The waitress thankfully appeared with our food, so Judd and I were able to ignore each other for the duration of our meal. Yet, I felt intimidated by Judd’s anger. While I often irritated my father, I gave up long ago trying to make him like me. With Judd, I cared if he thought I was shit.

By the time we left the restaurant, I felt like I was losing Judd. Maybe he wasn’t really mine to lose, but I needed him to want me.

“I think you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen,” I blurted out. Judd turned to me and frowned. Even with his dark expression, I continued, “I wanted you to know that I didn’t say no last night because I don’t think you’re handsome or because I don’t want you. I was just scared of being close like that, but I’m not scared of you. You’re special and handsome and I really like you.”

Staring, I felt dumb because my words sounded dumb. They sounded so beautiful in my head like poetry even. Out loud, they sounded like the babbling of an idiot.

Judd stared at me like I was awful, just the lamest shit he had ever seen.

“Fuck,” he muttered, walking towards me.

Before I could react, his lips found mine while his hands were against my face. The kiss was too brief and I wanted more, but Judd only studied me.