Bailey shrugged. “I didn’t have a dream to do it. No light bulb moment. It’s just…” She smiled. “Well, you fight at the Thunderdome, so you know Tucker is an idiot.”
When I smiled, she continued, “Cooper has to run certain aspects of our family business. Tucker can’t help with the other businesses because of his stupidity. Sawyer is too young and evil to help. Mom and Pop want to retire, but they don’t want to give up power to an outsider.”
“So do you want to do it or do you have to do it?”
“I don’t have to do anything. Coop expects nothing from me because he thinks I’m dumb like Tucker. He once said he hoped I married someone smart who could help with the business. He doesn’t believe in me, but my mom does. She says I can be a great boss. So even though I don’t love the idea of managing all the businesses, I do want to help the family. I also want to prove I can do stuff. If I had a dream job like you, I probably wouldn’t care about leaving it all to Coop. He’s a douche who doesn’t believe in me. I shouldn’t care, but I still want to help even if he doesn’t think I can. Prove him wrong and help at the same time. I’m petty and nice that way.”
“Multitalented,” I said and Bailey’s face lit up. “Every job has its good and bad. Even if this job isn’t something you always dreamed of having, it can still make you happy.”
“Do you think I’ll be a good boss?”
“I never see Winnie crying or running away from you, so I’d say yes.”
Bailey laughed. “So far anyway.”
As we ate our appetizers, I steered the conversation towards easy topics like which professors we liked and which ones sucked. By the time dinner arrived, talk of my shitty family was forgotten.
“Do you have any siblings?” Bailey asked as we let our dinner settle and waited for a dessert to share.
My gut tensing, I realized there was no avoiding the ugly stuff. Not with someone I wanted to know everything about. Clearly, she wanted to know everything about me too.
“My mom has kids. I don’t know them. I only know their names and ages.”
“Do you want to know more?”
“Not really.”
“So you’re all alone?”
“No, I’m here with you.”
Bailey smiled softly. “Do you have any good friends?”
I scratched my jaw. “I haven’t had a solid friend since middle school. After Tate moved away, I just hung out with different people. I do the same thing in Ellsberg. I have trouble connecting with people, I guess.”
Bailey looked ready to ask another question. Probably one that would leave me sharing too much and feeling awkward. Instead, she smiled and reached for my hand.
“I’m glad I freaked out in the library.”
“Best tantrum ever.”
While we enjoyed our molten cake, I saw a chance to touch Bailey when she smudged chocolate fudge on her chin. Maybe my fingers lingered because her breath caught. Her gaze was warm and stayed that way as we left the restaurant.
“Wanna come hang out at my place?” she asked, tugging at my tee. “Or I could come to your place. Either one works for me.”
“I need to get to bed soon.”
Bailey blinked a few times. “Is that a yes or a no?”
“It’s a not tonight.”
“Why?”
“I’m tired, Bailey. I get up early every morning to train,” I said, running my fingers along her long neck. “We can hang out this weekend if you want?”
“Hang out? If I want? Are you blowing me off?”
Stepping back, I frowned at her. “What the hell am I going to do with you? I tell you I want you. We have a great time, but it’s not enough. Why?”
Bailey’s face twisted into a frown. “Why don’t you want to spend the night with me?”
“I’m tired.”
“When guys say they’re tired, it’s a lie.”
“I’m not a guy. I’m me and I’ve wanted you for a year. Fuck, I’ve been waiting for you since before Christmas. You act like your feelings are so much better, but how long have you been waiting for me?”
“I thought you wanted Farah.”
“You thought wrong,” I said, walking to my Harley.
“I’ve been waiting too,” she cried, following me. “Not as long, but I haven’t been with anyone for months. I wanted you.”
I turned her and sighed. “You want everything this very fucking second. If I don’t hump you in public, I don’t want you. If I don’t want to fuck on the first date, I don’t want you. If I don’t treat you like a bang and hang girl, I don’t want you. Have you ever had a real relationship?”
Bailey shook her head.
“Neither have I, but I’ve fucked random girls. Is that how I’m supposed to treat you? Like you’re just anyone because I assumed you wanted this to be more.”
Bailey frowned at me and I waited for her to yell or storm off. Instead, she burst into tears.
A part of me panicked and wanted to run away from her emotions. I didn’t know how to handle this shit. All my life, I did the superficial nice guy stuff. The deeper personal connection thing wasn’t me. I had no experience and was lost as she sobbed in front of me.