“This is your man’s place?” Raven asked as I shut the door. “Homey and artsy. Who is this guy?”
“Aaron is amazing. He’s out back with the dogs.”
“I’ll meet him in a bit, but we need to talk first.”
Expecting a lecture about the baby, I sat at the kitchen table with Raven who pulled off her leather jacket and hung it from the back of the chair.
“Are you here alone?” I asked when she said nothing.
“I’ve been alone for months. Fucking Dexter took our cash and ran off with some bitch he met at the cash checking place. He left me a text about how she didn’t hassle him like I did. She was cool, you know? Man, he’s lucky I couldn’t track down his ass or I’d have kicked it so hard that he’d be shitting from his mouth.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, patting her hand.
To my surprise, Raven grabbed my hand and held it. “You thought I left because of you? How fucking stupid are you sometimes?”
While I tried to pull my hand away, she kept it tight in hers. “I had this stupid idea that I could leave my problems behind,” she said in a rough voice. “Like I was drowning in shit because I lived in a shithole. In reality, I take the shit with me. Everywhere I go, there I am. When I left, I wanted to prove something else. I didn’t and was embarrassed to admit that to you. It’s why I avoided talking you. I mean, how lame am I to have Dexter dump me? He wasn’t even that fucking hot and he was stupid as shit and I wasn’t good enough for him.”
“What have you been doing for money?”
“I tried stripping for a month or so. Made good money too and that’s how I had enough cash to get home.”
“Stripping?” I asked, grinning.
“Hey, I’m coordinated and hot. I was a fave for some freaks, but then I got fired for punching some fuck in the face. He grabbed one of the girls and the bouncer was too busy flirting with his phone to notice. Apparently, we weren’t supposed to defend ourselves. Asshole owner thanked me for helping out then fired me. I still had enough money to get here.”
“I’m sorry Dexter got away. I can imagine how much you wanted to kick his ass.”
Raven smiled, but her eyes were sad. “You are a piece of shit, Lark. The worse fucking person ever.”
“Why?” I balked.
“I heard that message about you thinking I ditched you. I fucking cried and you know how I hate crying. You’re a cunt for making me cry, but I’m glad you called. I wanted to come home, but I was embarrassed. There are things worse than embarrassment like my little sister thinking I didn’t care about her. You needed me and I’d been dying without you. Turns out, I’m not likable enough to make friends who aren’t my sister.”
Laughing, I kissed her hand. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“I’m staying too. I can strip anywhere. Or get a job that doesn’t involve smiling at ugly guys,” Raven said. “I don’t want to lie to myself. I’m the problem and I need to face my shitty habits and make better ones.”
“It’s not all your fault.”
“Yeah, we had crappy parents, but we’re not kids anymore and I need to fix what Mom broke. I don’t want to be forty and married to some Larry shitface and asking for permission to take a piss. At this rate though, I’ll be married to that fucker by thirty.”
“It’ll be okay, Raven. I found Aaron and he’s really good inside. Not a dick hiding behind a hot bod. Just a really great man.”
“Yeah, but you’re not me. You’ve always been smarter. Remember in high school when I couldn’t figure out how to use my combination lock and you had to help. What the fuck?”
“You’re tired. I can tell because you’re cussing more than usual.”
Raven grinned. “See how perceptive you are? That’s my little sis. I can’t believe you’re going to be a mom.”
When I lost my smile from worrying over being a mom, Raven reached over and yanked on my hair.
“Don’t get gloomy on me. That day we lost Phoenix wasn’t about you. That was our shit stepdad. He wanted us to go away and play somewhere, but he wanted Phoenix nearby. It was his fucking fault and you were too young to understand. I was mature enough to get what happened. It’s why I never blame myself.”
“Mature?” I asked, lifting an eyebrow.
“Yes, I hit my maturity at nine then stopped. That’s so me. Advanced then delayed. I’m special that way.”
Laughing, I stood up and got her a Coke from the frig. When I handed it to her, Raven stared at my flat belly then leaned her face against it.
“You’re so lucky,” she whispered. “Your mommy will make you laugh and kiss away the tears. She’ll read you books about self esteem then sing you awful songs until you sleep out of boredom. You’re going to grow up so loved and you won’t know any other way.”
When Raven looked up at me, she smiled at my tears. “I wish I had a mom like you, Lark. Everyone does. You’re going to love the shit out of this kid and you’ll make it look easy. No worries, okay?”
“Okay,” I whispered, caressing her face. “I’m so glad you came home.”