Raven responded by listing off everything she hated about him. Larry’s reaction was to threaten her with violence, maybe thinking she was still weak from the fight with Dylan. My stepbrother laughed when Larry threatened Raven. If he couldn’t take her down, his old man wasn’t going to do it.
Never willing to stand down, Raven threatened Larry with violence right back. Realizing she would actually hit him, he called the police and Raven left town with her stoner boyfriend Dexter.
Without Raven, I was alone with the two Clark men and my indifferent mother. Moving out wasn’t an option though. I couldn’t afford school plus rent, utilities, and food. Larry knew this fact and often held school over my head. If I didn’t behave, he would threaten to kick me out. I needed to get an education so I could support myself one day and never depend on some fucker like him. Depend on any of the kind of men my mom loved over the years.
After Raven left, Larry cracked down on my privileges. After I became friends with the Johanssons, he cracked down even more. I wasn’t allowed to drive or take the bus. I wasn’t allowed to go out on the weekends. I wasn’t allowed to do anything except work and study. If I wanted to be around my friends, I needed Dylan to come along. The night I bowled with the crew, he sat in the corner and stared at me. I pretended not to notice and no one else seemed to notice either. Cooper likely would have said something if he knew my brother was babysitting me.
Dylan claimed he wasn’t my brother. He didn’t see us that way. I pretended not to understand. So far, my lies kept him at arm’s length. One day on the phone, Raven warned me Dylan wouldn’t wait forever. When he decided to stop waiting, I needed to decide how far I would go to say no.
This thought was on my mind as I sat for another tense dinner with the family.
Sporting dyed black hair and a fake tan, Larry sat at one end of the long table with Mom at the other. Dylan sat across from me and he often looked up to stare. I pretended not to notice. For most of my life, I’d pretended one thing or another. The only time I could really be me was with Raven especially during roller derby. I’d been called Thunder Kitten because I looked harmless like a kitten, yet could startle my opponents like a crack of thunder.
Despite my former tough girl stance, I was Larry’s bitch now. When he told me the pink and blue tips in my hair were ridiculous, I dyed them out. When he said my hair was too short and spiky, I let it grow. If I didn’t bow to his will, he would kick me out of the house and I would lose out on college.
I wasn’t even aiming for a bachelor degree anymore. At that rate, I would live under Larry’s thumb for a decade. I just wanted an associate’s degree then get the fuck out of his house with all of its bear figures staring at me.
My mind was on more than Larry and those knickknacks. I missed my sister and wished she would give me advice about Aaron. In the past, she was the one I talked to about everything. Now, she was just gone.
Hiding out in my bedroom, I dialed her number and hoped she answered. These days, Raven often let her phone go to voice mail. I wasn’t sure if this was because she was busy or avoiding me. Growing up, I wouldn’t have imagined a time when I’d suspect my sister of dodging me. Of course, I never would have dreamed she would ditch town and leave me behind.
This time, she answered, sounding in a rush. “Hey,” she said and I already felt like hanging up.
Even though I wanted to ask why she hadn’t called me back after the last three messages I left, I didn’t say the words. I feared she would admit she didn’t want to talk to me and I wasn’t brave enough for the truth.
“Are you busy?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m about to go out.”
Knowing she was on a cell and could take it with her, I again felt the urge to yell at her for hiding from me these last months. When she first moved away, Raven called and told me how much she missed me. Back then, she seemed homesick without me. Now, she just sounded sick of hearing my voice.
“I met someone,” I said.
“A guy?”
“Yes.”
“What’s his name?”
“Aaron. He’s a tattoo artist.”
“An artist. Sounds like you.”
Lately, whenever we spoke, everything she said sounded like an insult. I wasn’t sure if my feelings were hurt or if she was being a bitch. For the first time, I realized I didn’t want to talk to her either.
“I know you’re busy, so I’ll let you go.”
Raven said nothing for a minute then sighed. “Is Larry giving you trouble about dating Aaron?”
“I’m not dating Aaron. I just like him.”
“Does he have a girlfriend?”
“I don’t think so.”
“What’ the problem then?”
“Every time he’s around, fate seems to keep us from talking.”
“Fate?”
“Cooper said he would pay to have my tattoo fixed if I went to Aaron’s shop. I guess, I’ll try to go, but fate always keeps us apart. It’s probably not going to happen.”