Oh well.
“What did you just say?” Very slowly, his right hand leaves the wall beside my head, and he places it over my throat. He’s not squeezing and he’s not going to hurt me. I don’t give a shit what the outcome is, but if he clamps down, he’s going to have to kill me to stop me from killing him first.
“We both know you’re just pissed because I’m not falling all over your precious Holly like everybody else is. You can’t tell me I’m disrespecting you in front of your brothers, because it’s just us here. I walked away and didn’t start shit with you. You’re the one who stopped me and wants to talk. You just don’t like what I have to say.”
“That what this attitude is about? This about Holly?”
He doesn’t move his hand, but his eyes look like they clear somehow. It’s like the rage that settled in is gone and he’s back to being a normal person—well, as normal as he ever is. I can’t look at him, not with me caged in like this. He’ll see the truth in my eyes. If I look at him, he’s going to know everything I can’t bear to tell him.
“Fuck,” he whispers and lifts his hand from my neck to cup my cheek. He tips my face back so I’m stuck looking at him. “Babe. We need to talk about this?”
“Talk about what?” Playing stupid doesn’t work with him, but it’s better than being honest.
“Yeah, we gotta talk,” he says quietly. “What we were was friends who were convenient. Did I ever promise you more than a good time?”
I stay silent.
“Answer me.”
“No, you never promised me anything,” I say. I’m tense from head to toe, dying on the inside, wishing I could escape.
“If you wanted more, you should have said something. Not gonna lie, babe. I don’t know if it could’ve worked between us, but I would’ve tried if you had asked for it.”
Why in the hell is he being nice now? Why is he trying to make me feel better? He’s moved on. Now I have to figure out how to move on, and this shit is not fucking helping. I know him too well to presume he’ll stop without getting what he wants first. So as painful as it is, I give it to him.
“I didn’t know,” I say.
“Know what?” His brows pull together in confusion.
“I didn’t know you could fall in love.” Once the words have left my mouth, I regret them. His lips work in a silent frenzy like he’s trying to say something but can’t figure out what. Seeing him like this flips on some kind of chatty switch in my brain, and I can’t shut up even though I desperately want to.
“I thought after Layla that this is just who you are. I thought you were broken and I was getting as much of you as anyone ever would. I thought I meant something to you. I thought you were worth it. But then Holly came along, and it was suddenly so obvious. You’re not broken or dead inside—it just wasn’t me. It was never going to be me, and I don’t know why, but it doesn’t matter, because now that I’m looking at you—really looking at you—I know that you’re not it for me either.”
I stand in place, wide-eyed and stunned by my own realization. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest, which feels wonderful. But then there’s this sharp pain that feels like my heart’s being ripped out at the same time.
“Wow,” I say and close my eyes. It takes a few breaths before I feel him leave me. Heavy boots stomp on the pavement, sounding like a wild caravan about to pass me. I open my eyes just in time to see Wyatt, Ryan, and Diesel approaching. Crap, I bet they heard us. Diesel stops in front of me, letting Wyatt and Ryan walk in without him, and turns to face me.