“Come on, Addy, you know I couldn’t give a shit about anyone else but you. I just wanted some alone time before I left. Is that all right, or do you want me to leave?”
Wow, he was actually giving me a choice. I guess some things did change after all. I chewed on my lip so hard, I thought for sure there would be blood, before answering him.
“Yeah, I guess that’s all right,” I took a deep breath, not believing what I was about to do, but Chris just seemed to bring back so many memories that I just wanted to keep away. “But I’m really not in the mood for talking.” I closed the small space between us and instantly mashed my lips against his. He let out a startled noise because I’m sure there was no way he was expecting that, but he, of course, didn’t pull away. His mouth tasted so familiar and comforting as I tangled my hands in his hair.
That had been one of my favorite things about Chris: even though all around he was a good looking guy, I just always felt so in control during our heavy make out sessions when I had my hands twined through his hair, controlling the next moves.
“Addy,” he moaned into my mouth before spinning me around and slamming me into the kitchen wall. “You have no idea how much I missed this. How much I missed everything about you.” He worked at a frantic pace, his hands pushing up the hem of my dress until it was bunched up at my waist.
“Just quit talking.” I wrapped my legs around his waist and latched my lips onto his neck, sliding my tongue up the length until I reached his strong jaw and then dragged his bottom lip in between my teeth. I moaned into his mouth when he thrust his hips forward.
I could feel his hardness through his shorts push against me, and it set me off with a need that I had to have filled right then and there. I let my legs drop briefly and fumbled with the button on his shorts. He helped out by pushing those down, along with his boxers and reached down to grasp my hips.
“Wait, hold on,” I gasped out. Just because we were in the heat of the moment, I had certainly learned my lesson the first time. “Condom.” I held out my hand and waited. He must have known I meant business this time because he had one out of his wallet in record time, and I was once again wrapping my legs around his waist. With one thrust, we were both moaning out each other’s names and falling into a rhythm that seemed all too familiar.
***********************
I flopped onto the middle of my bed, and Chris rolled in next to me, both of us catching our breath after the workout we had in the kitchen and then on the dining room table. I knew I had just made a huge mistake, but I felt guilty for thinking that by the dopey smile that was spread across his face.
He laced our hands together and traced my bare stomach with his other. I avoided his eyes though. If I looked into them, I knew I would definitely do something a whole lot stupider than had just happened.
If that was possible.
“See, Addy, you and me just works. I knew if you just gave it a chance again, it would be like nothing ever happened.” I stifled a groan and squeezed my eyes shut. Of course he thought sex could solve everything. Typical guy. I think that was the whole problem to begin with.
“Can we talk about this in the morning? My head is pounding, and I’m super tired.” I asked quietly, which really wasn’t far from the truth. Just thinking about what he said made me exhausted.
“Sure, I’m just happy to be right here with you.” He turned to bury his nose in the crook of my neck and I instantly stiffened. Cuddling was certainly not part of the equation. “You know I won’t be that far away when the semester starts up.” I let out a loud sigh hoping he would get the hint, but he just continued talking.
“We could always try a long distance thing or maybe you could get accepted to a college nearby. The place I have would be big enough for two, you could always move in there. We could have a fresh start; leave our past behind.” I cracked one eye open, my heart beating through my chest as he laid our whole future out in front of us. No grin crossed his face. He was being one hundred percent completely serious. Fuck me.
“Mmm hmm, we’ll talk about things in the morning,” I murmured, turning onto my side to face away from him. He answered with a kiss to my bare shoulder, and luckily didn’t say anything else. A tear dripped down my cheek as I stared into the darkness of my room, and I soon heard Chris’s light snores behind me.
I wish I could leave my past behind, but I knew if I tried to start any kind of new future, it couldn’t be with Chris. Every time I looked at him, I remembered the night that had changed my life. Tonight was supposed to be about forgetting, about letting go, but all that I really did was give him renewed hope for something that would never be.