“I know. I just want to stay away from any problems.”
Poppy sets down her glass. “You have to give me a chance to trust you, and hiding in your room, not interacting with your teammates isn’t going to do that. All it’s going to do is make you resentful eventually.”
“Resentful of what?”
“Of me, for taking you away from your friends. I don’t want to confine you. If we’re going to try to make this work, it can’t be about you hiding from Tash, or the bunnies. And it can’t be you keeping me separate from the rest of your life.”
“I meant it when I said I’m not going to talk to her anymore. I’m done.”
“Has she contacted you since you saw her in LA?” Poppy bites her bottom lip.
“I got one call from an unknown number, but whoever it was didn’t leave a voicemail.”
“And if she comes to your next LA game? How will you handle that?”
“How do you want me to handle it?” My knee is bouncing. Even if we’re not involved, erasing Tash from my life isn’t exactly easy.
“I want you to be honest with me if you think you’re going to see her. I want to be able to trust that you’re not going to fall back into old patterns every time you cross paths.”
“I mean it when I say I’m done with her, Poppy. I didn’t really understand how bad she made me feel until you came along. I get how toxic she is for me, and I told her that. I want what we have to work. I know you can’t come to every LA game, but maybe you can come to some of them? The ones on the weekend maybe?”
Poppy glances at her wine and then back at me. “It doesn’t have to be LA games.”
“Whatever games you want to come to, I’ll get you tickets, if that’s what you want. But the bunnies are always there. I don’t have control over that.”
“I know. But who cares about them?” Her eyes flash. “And I only want to be at games if you want me there.”
“I only got one penalty tonight because I was trying to be good for you.”
A tender smile turns up the corner of her mouth. “I don’t want to be hidden away. Tonight was good for me. Meeting some of the other girls, your teammates, it was nice to feel included in your life.” Her eyes drop to the pillow she’s holding. “Unless that’s not what you want out of this.”
I hadn’t considered that keeping her all to myself could be a negative thing. “I just wanted to protect you from all the bad stuff.”
“I can handle the bad stuff, Lance, if you let me. We can handle it together.”
“The bunnies can be nasty.”
“I know. I heard a few of them tonight.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. Don’t take the blame for other people’s words and choices.”
“That’s not always easy.”
“Nothing good is easy; otherwise we wouldn’t appreciate the effort it takes to make it work.”
“So what now? Where do we go from here?”
She sets down her glass and leans closer. “Forward. If that’s what you want.”
“And you really want to do that?” I want to touch her. I want her to touch me. To ground me in this moment.
She laces her fingers with mine. “The past is in the past. We can leave it there if we’re done with it, can’t we?”
“What if I don’t want to?”
She cocks her head to the side, uncertain.
“I’ve buried a lot of my past because it wasn’t good, Poppy. But I don’t want to bury anything about you. Now that I have it back, you’re probably my best childhood memory. And to have you here as part of my present gives me hope that you’ll be in my future, too.”
CHAPTER 25
WHERE WE BEGIN
POPPY
Lance brings my fingers to his lips. This won’t be easy or simple. Loving him isn’t going to be a fairytale story where we ride off into the sunset and everything is perfect.
I know this.
We’re both full of fire, and his past is full of pain he carries with him. But I’m willing to try, because I want him. And more than that, this man is the kind of beautiful I need in my life.
“Let’s only keep the good ones then,” I suggest.
“Okay. I like that idea.” His lips brush my knuckle as he speaks. “I want to kiss you.”
“You already are.”
His smile grows and his lashes lower as he dips in close. “I mean your pretty lips.”
“Then you should do that.” I wait for the gentle, warm press.
“Want or let?” he asks.
“Need.”
And then he’s wrapped around me, lips on mine, tongue stroking slow inside my mouth, his low moan vibrating through my entire body.
It’s a new first kiss. His brief absence from my life is washed away.
He pulls back to ask, “Can I take you upstairs?”
At my nod, he links our hands. It takes forever to get up the stairs because we can’t stop kissing. When he pushes the door to his room open he mutters a curse. “I didn’t think…”
His room is a mess. Clothes are strewn on the floor by the dresser. His bed is unmade. The light in the bathroom is on, and discarded towels are hanging on the edge of the tub. It’s a big tub. A nice soaker.
“Wow. You’re a real neat freak, huh?”
“Let me tidy up a bit, aye?”
He starts to move away, but I clutch his hand tighter. “Why bother when we’re going to mess it all up anyway?”
“You make a good point.”
And then we’re back to kissing, and undressing. Clothing hits the floor, teeth clash and nip. He pauses when I’m in my bra and panties. “Look at you. So beautiful.” His hands roam my body, reacquainting.
“We’ll go slow later, aye?” He walks me backward to the bed.
“Aye,” I mock breathlessly, tilting my head so he can kiss his way along my throat.
He bites my chin and makes a little growling noise that hardens my nipples and heats me from the inside out. Lance lays me out on the bed, pushing the rumpled sheets out of the way. He digs around in the nightstand drawer while we kiss and I touch him.
“You know, if you stop trying to multitask, it would probably be easier.”
He grumbles something into my neck.
“What was that?”
“I don’t wanna stop kissing you.”
“Not even for a second?” His lips are on my jaw now.
“Not even for a second.”
A huge crash shocks a gasp out of me as he pulls the drawer free from the nightstand, and it lands on the floor. Lance holds up a condom with a satisfied smile. Actually, it’s a strip of condoms. “Got what I needed.”
“Do we really need that?” I ask.
He blinks a couple of times. “I dunno, do we not?”
“I’m on the pill.”
“And you think that’s safe enough?”
“Do you?” I run my fingers through his hair, asking the question without putting it into words.
He regards me for a few long seconds. “You trust me?”
“Aye.”
He huffs a little laugh and shakes his head. “Is that yer new favorite word, then?” It comes out with an accent.
“Maybe.” I pause before adding, “Aye.”
He drops his face into the crook of my neck. “Precious, you have no idea what you’re doing to me right now.” He kisses along my neck, and I feel him, hot and hard against me. “If I go in bare, I’m not gonna last long,” he says when he gets to my mouth.”
“That’s okay. We have all night for you to be sweet with me.”
He drops the strip of condoms on the covers and takes my face in his hands. With his eyes on mine he sinks in to me. For a moment I’m lost, and then I’m found in him.
This is nothing like the last time I was with him. This is connection in its purest form. Sensation blends with emotions that have yet to be uttered. But they will, because they’re too big for either of us to contain anymore.
I come just before he does, and the world is devoid of color. There is only this man and this moment.
“Poppy?” Lance’s arm is wrapped around me, anchoring me to his chest, even though I still feel like I’m floating.
“Mmm?”
“I have to tell you something.”
I lift my head at his nervous tone.
He runs a finger from the bridge of my nose to the tip and touches it to my lips. “I’m in love with you.”
“That’s good to know.” I pause, his panicked expression almost comical, except that it’s genuine, so I continue. “Because I’m in love with you, too.”